Well, tickle me pink! Thanks so much, Zen and the Art of Borderline Maintenance! I feel so very honored and blessed that you put me in league with other Inspiring Blogger Award recipients. This is just wonderful. Especially coming from you. Your posts always make me smile as they are written in such an approachable and human way. It’s always a pleasure reading your words and so it’s even more special that you would give me the Inspiring Blogger Award.
As for fulfilling my responsibilities regarding the award, I’m delighted to tell you 7 things about myself and pass on the nomination to 7 other bloggers.
7 things about me:
- I’m a relationship book author who loves nothing more than helping people have happy relationships full of love and nookie!
- I have 2 kitties, a hamster and 2 chickens (yes, you read that right!)
- My husband is the sunshine of my life.
- I’m new to blogging so all of the feedback you guys give me means a ton.
- I used to be a high school English teacher.
- I’m a featured author on mouithsone.com.
- Sometimes I feel like I’m going to run out of things to say, then I wake up and start running off at the mouth (keyboard) all over again!
7 bloggers that I nominate:
Thanks again for giving me the Inspiring Blogger Award and I hope that all of you check out the bloggers I’ve listed above as well as Zen and the Art of Borderline Maintenance. Have a great weekend!
First, I want to thank all of the wonderful people who have bought my books and either written amazing reviews on Amazon or sent me emails. I’m so thrilled to hear how the books have helped saved your marriages. It means the world to me. Writing them (especially Sex: How to Get More of It) was a risky proposition as people read the word “Sex” and think you are a tramp–even in 2012. But it’s been so great that you guys took the time to read the book(s) and realized that my only goal is to help you all have beautiful relationships full of love, joy, intimacy and great nookie!
Second, this blog is not just for me to espouse knowledge and thoughts. It’s for you to ask questions about relationships, express tough times you may be going through and share the wonderful lessons you’ve learned that helped you achieve happiness.
Please feel free to comment if you have any questions or a story to tell. I know my blog is brand new and most of my wonderful readers don’t even know about it, but I want this to be as interactive as possible.
Thanks again to every one of my readers. In addition to, “Sex: How to Get More of It” and “Intimacy: How to Get More of It” I’ll have a new book, “Happiness: How to Get More of It” coming out hopefully at the end of the year. I hope that all of you will enjoy that one too. Much love!
So, my real name for this post is more along the lines of, “Don’t be a douche bag,” but I thought I’d go for a less in your face title since I’m new here and people don’t know me very well quite yet. In all honesty, I’ve never met a 4-letter word I didn’t like.
What I really want to address here is that so many times I’ve seen (we probably all have) that a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife will immediately assume the worst when confronted with an uncomfortable or confusing situation. This always confounds me. Shouldn’t the love of your life be the first person to believe you and have your back in all situations?
Here’s an example. One time I was out with friends and one of the guys said to another of the guys, “Hey man, that was so much fun last Friday night! We had such a great time. Those girls were HOT!” Now, before the poor guy he was talking to could say anything, his girl jumped all over him. “YOU SAID YOU WERE WORKING ON FRIDAY! WHAT THE HELL??? DID YOU GO TO SOME STRIP CLUB?? I HATE YOU!” This she screamed in front of everyone. It was mortifying.
I immediately had a few thoughts run through my mind.
- I felt bad for her because if he had been lying to her, getting busted in front of everyone is simply humiliating to everyone involved, but especially hurtful to her.
- I felt bad for him because I knew he actually WAS working. The other guy was about to tell him what he had missed by being stuck at work. Only he wasn’t able to continue his thought because the wife freaked out.
- I felt bad for everyone else because the evening had just gone from fun to hell in a hand basket in 2 seconds flat.
It’s this type of gut reaction that is the death knell of a relationship. While I too would immediately think WTF?? I would also give my husband the benefit of the doubt. She could have solved the entire situation without it turning into a nightmare of he said/she said by simply and calmly asking the loud mouthed guy what he was talking about. Instead, she flew into a rage and blew the entire situation into something that was awful for all of us, but especially damaging to her relationship.
Of course, if there is a history of lying between them, she’s likely to be sensitive and prone to yelling first and asking questions later. But even if there is a history of dishonesty, screaming like that never solves problems.
Before assuming the worst and flying off the handle, take a moment to collect yourself. Leave the room if you have to. And then broach the subject in a calm and non-threatening way. You are much more likely to find out what really is going on if you don’t have everyone within a 10 mile radius hiding under the table in fear of your wrath.