Good grief! I’m pretty sure the listening skills of the general population have been flushed down the toilet. In the last 2 days I’ve had conversations with customer service people (bless them for their jobs as I couldn’t do it, but STILL!!) who apparently didn’t listen to a single word I said during the entire conversation and then asked me the world’s stupidest questions.
Customer Service Cluster F*ck #1:
Situation: My Dish Network receiver has been crashing 5 times a day for weeks. So I call and troubleshoot over the phone, to no avail. After another week I call back in and request a new receiver. When it arrives, I install it, no problems there. But on step 4 of 7 of the software setup I can’t get my 2nd TV to get a signal. So I call back. This is how the conversation goes:
Me: Hi! I just installed a new DVR, am on step 4 of 7 of setting up the software. I’m trying to get signal to TV2. On screen it tells me I have channels 73, 60, 21 and 75 as choices for the 2nd TV’s reception and none of them work. I’ve tried them all.
Him: How old is your receiver?
Me: 5 minutes as I just installed it.
Him: What are you seeing on screen?
Me: (I tell him the step 4 of 7, channel lineup, blah blah blag again.)
Him: What error code is there?
Me: There is no error code. I’m on step 4 of 7. It’s not a error-code issue. I just can’t get my 2nd TV to pick up the signal.
Him: Yes ma’am, but what is the 3 digit error code.
Me: There is no error code.
Him: If you aren’t having any technical issues, then how can I help you?
Me: I again repeat the problem.
Him: Maybe you need a new receiver. How old is your receiver.
Me: 20 minutes old (as this pointless conversation has now taken 15 minutes)
Him: And what error code are you seeing?
Me: HANGS UP PISSED OFF AS CAT IN A BATHTUB!
Customer Service Cluster F*ck #2:
Situation: I go to Urgent Care this morning for having all these insanely itchy bumps on my arm. Ewww…gross! I thought they were more bug bites and the swelling and redness was increasing. Quack at Urgent Care tests me for MRSA (of all things!) and tells me I probably have Shingles (which I do NOT have). She gives me 2 prescriptions (for puke-inducing antibiotics and some other awful drug) which I drop off at Walgreens. Then she sends me to a dermatologist. After waiting TWO HOURS (talk about shitty customer service) the dermatologist sees me and says I have hives–a reaction to the bug bite from 10 days ago. Tells me not to take the meds the Quack gave me. Tells me I don’t have MRSA or Shingles. Just put this ointment on to stop the itching and I’ll be fine.
Back I go to Walgreens and the madness ensues:
Me: Hi. I have a prescription to drop off. I dropped off two earlier this morning, but won’t be needing them. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but can you fill this one for me and just put back the other two?
Him: Sure, just come back in about 30 minutes and we’ll have all 3 waiting for you.
Me: Ummm…I don’t need all 3. The two I dropped off this morning were prescribed in error. I only need the one I’m dropping off now.
Him: It might take longer than 30 minutes to fill all 3. Better give us an hour.
Me: (With the world’s most confounded look on my face). I only need the one you have in your hand. The other two you can cancel. I don’t need them. Please just fill the one in your hand. The anti-itch ointment. I don’t need the antibiotic or the other cream.
Him: Sure thing. See you in 30 minutes and we’ll have all 3 of them waiting for you.
Me: Thanks so much. (And I drove away wanting to burn the building to the ground.)
I totally understand that people who deal with the public probably want to become mass murderers. I’ve had jobs that were nothing but customer facing and I sometimes wondered how I didn’t bring a chainsaw to work with me and just do everyone in. But c’mon!!!??? Really???? There were no language barriers causing issues. I am a pretty clear communicator, as you guys all well know. I’m so damn polite I annoy myself. WHY can’t anyone just LISTEN??? Good Lord have mercy. I sincerely try to be the most patient person on earth, but sometimes…
What I’ve learned from all of this is that in order to not be horribly hypocritical I’m going to do my damnedest to always listen more than I speak in face to face conversations. I’m usually pretty good at that, but I’d never want anyone to feel about me the way I feel about these two…ummmm…can’t find a polite word so I’ll just not give them a name.
PS: I KNOW my photo has horrible language (I can’t help myself, I love to cuss), but it just made me bust out laughing when I read it so I had to share. I’m not sure about copyright for images on other blogs, but I grabbed the image from here: http://othersiderainbow.blogspot.com/2010/05/two-ears-one-mouth.html. I hope that covers my butt!