Join me on the radio tonight!

Hi everyone! I may have taken a few days off from blogging (too much working this weekend!) but I wanted to remind you guys of my radio spot tonight on Cougar Chat Radio!

Here’s the link: http://youradionetwork.com/

It comes on at 9:00pm Eastern.

The gorgeous, feisty ladies and I are going to dish about all kinds of love, relationship and sex goodies. You can call in and ask questions too! Call 717-496-9900.

Come join me! :)

Drunk unicorns? WTF?

People of Florida unite! No longer will your hurricanes be mentionable on tests in NY.

Japanese citizens, your tsunami is off limits to the children of NY.

New Orleans, I guess the levee didn’t break. At least according to NY.

You may have guessed it, but our Word(s) of the day are: Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes)

From now on it will be sunshine, rainbows and unicorns for all of the children of NY as anything Mother Nature can dish up beyond that is off-limits.

I’m quite certain that NY is right about this one. If we simply deny the existence of hurricanes, tsunamis, tornadoes, etc…then they don’t exist, right? Were it only so simple.

NY, please stop being so friggin’ stupid as you are making my brain hurt.

In celebration of the moronic musings of the idiots on the NY DOE and the yellow-spine quality of the NY mayor, may I direct you to the best Southpark episode ever. Maybe they all should have watched this before writing their list. It may have given them the clarity to pull their heads out of their asses. ;)

If you are one of the 10 people who’ve never seen this episode, please watch. Just don’t eat while you watch. Later, you’ll understand why and thank me for the suggestion. :)

Southpark rules!

Unicorn pics sourced from this blog.

Holy Cow Batman! I won the Versatile Blogger Award! Woo hoo!

HOLY COW!!! You guys never cease to amaze me with your kindness and thoughtfulness. I’m soooo happy I joined WordPress and met all of you!

I am delighted to have been awarded the Versatile Blogger Award. This is just such a lovely surprise. And quite honestly, it’s so nice to know that my trucker mouth and sassy self don’t drive you all away from my blog!!! :)

The rules of the award are simple:

  • Thank the person who gave you this award.
  •  Include a link to their blog.
  •  Next, select 10 to 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
  •  Nominate those 10 to 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award
  •  Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

I would like to share my heartfelt thanks with readncook for giving me this award. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that anyone even reads my blog, much less enjoys it enough to give me such a wonderful award. Thank you so very much! It’s especially meaningful because readncook is a teacher and I used to be one too, so we share many similar experiences. If you haven’t checked out readncook’s blog yet, please do. She’s great!

In the tradition of passing along wonderful things, here is my list of nominees for the Versatile blogger award in no particular order; they are all great reads and represent a variety of perspectives (some of these people are mouthy as hell, which is why I love them so dearly!):

zenandtheartofborderlinemaintenance

unrequitedlovesucks

stuartotwaysmith

kyllingsara

thechangeyourlifeblog

lifeinthedrivethru

taoquest

jeffdalydose

cantstopmyself

fromthepews

elliebloo

foreverpoetic

Go! Go follow all of these people now. They are all wonderful in their own unique way. :)

Seven things about me (like I haven’t already told you guys everything there is to know!):

  1. I have about 300 teddy bears and they all have names and partners!
  2. I have two tattoos, though I’ll never tell where they are or what they are of. Well, I guess I should never say never. :)
  3. I met my wonderful, deliriously sweet hubby online!! Best day of my life.
  4. I have Flintstone feet. If you look at the cover of my Intimacy book you can see them. They are essentially square.
  5. Armageddon is one of my favorite trash Saturday afternoon movies.
  6. I dream of living in Hello Kitty Land.
  7. I have now shared enough about myself online to give fodder to any stalker out there.

Again, thank you sooooooooo much! This means so dang much to me. :)

Trending words are not in my wheelhouse

What in the holy hell is a wheelhouse? I think of my hamster running in his cage when I hear the word wheelhouse.

I am fully aware that a language that does not grow, eventually dies–think Latin here. But still!

Here’s a list of words that make me bonkers (please forgive if any of these words are in YOUR wheelhouse!):

  1. Trending. What ever happened to “trendy?” Trending is a verb. Trendy is an adjective. Why the change? Was the “y” somehow offensive?
  2. Wheelhouse. WTF? I’m going to leave it at that.
  3. Ginormous. Kill me. Kill me now. I hate this word so much I would vomit on it were it a tangible thing.
  4. Amazeballs. Makes me immediately think of a guy with ginormous balls. Oops! ;) J/K.
  5. Chillax. If anyone ever told me to chillax I’d hit them in the face with a hammer.
  6. Stacation. Is it really so hard to say, “I’m staying home and relaxing?” Why not, “houscation?” or “homcation?” or “cheapcation?”
  7. Woot. Probably not as bad as I think it is but this wretchedly stupid bitch where I used to work would use it all the time to try and distract us from her massive failures at her job. It did not work.
  8. Anyhoo/anywho. I know, a lot of you probably use this word, but it makes my brain itch.
  9. Butthurt. Ummmm…man, do I have LOTS of things to say about this one. The image that immediately pops into my mind is, well, probably too horrible to articulate here, though I’m DYING to do so.

I’m quite certain I use words that sometimes make people want to duct tape my face, but I’m okay with being annoying. I just hate it when other people are. Again, soooo kidding! I’m feisty this morning!

In parting, may I just say that using ginormous words while describing what’s trending is so in my amazeballs wheelhouse that if you are reading this on your stacation and get butthurt while doing so, all I have to say is chillax. Anyhoo…  ;)

And I think I may have just turned into the Mayor of NY since apparently we both like banning words–though I think mine make a hell of a lot more sense. :) Oh, I almost forgot, woot woot!

Horse’s Arse Award Appropriately Timed!

Well, well, well…I didn’t even realize that my “You are a ridiculous horse’s ass” word of the day is…drum roll please…cancer. What timing, seeing how I just got such good news about my aunt’s cancer today.

So, I guess the word “cancer” is too upsetting for kids to ever hear about. I mean, I’m sure they’ve never known anyone with cancer. I’m sure it wouldn’t be wise to teach them steps they can take to avoid cancer, like not smoking. Oh, wait, can’t discuss smoking either, so let’s throw that baby out with the bath water.

In a world where you can’t go to the grocery store without the secure knowledge that you will more than likely bump into at least one or two people with cancer while you are there buying bread, why on earth would we shelter kids from better understanding it? Cancer.org predicts that a bit over 20% of Americans die from cancer. So yeah, I guess a 1 in 5 figure is no reason to concern ourselves with ensuring our kids understand what causes and how to prevent cancer.

Have mercy, this list of forbidden words just gets sillier and sillier.