I love it when big corporations just screw you blind in uncomfortable places and then ask you for a tip. ASSHATS!!!
I got an email today from Dish Network that was not particularly clear, so I stupidly thought I’d start a chat with their customer service. I should know better than to do such an idiotic thing.
This is how it went:
Moises: Hi, my name is Moises. How may I help you?
Jodi Ambrose: Hi Moises. I just received this email from Dish:
DISH will make sure you can still watch Breaking Bad, Hell on Wheels, and The Walking Dead. We have some very rewarding offers in place. Find out how to enjoy your shows on Amazon® and iTunes® on your computer or by streaming through your Xbox®, PlayStation®, Apple TV® or Roku®. Call today at 1-888-581-1972 to learn more. Thanks for being a valued DISH customer.
Jodi Ambrose: Does this mean that AMC will no longer be provide through my regular Dish service?
Moises: I’ll be more than willing to assist you with your concern.
Jodi Ambrose: Thank you
Moises: For security purposes, would you please verify the 4 digit Security Code on the account?
Jodi Ambrose: xxxx
Moises: For security purposes, would you please verify the last four digits of the Social Security Number on the account?
Jodi Ambrose: xxxx
Moises: Thank you. How are you today?
Jodi Ambrose: Fine
Jodi Ambrose: thanks
Moises: That’s nice to know.
Jodi Ambrose: All I need to know is if AMC will no longer be provided through my regular dish network service
Moises: DISH is committed to fighting on your behalf to provide you with the best programming and the lowest possible price. The channels AMC Networks forces us to deliver — WE, IFC and AMC — do not give our customers the best content at the best value. We have permanently removed them from the DISH line up as of June 30. We are open to a creative proposal from AMC Networks that would resolve this situation, but at this point it looks like the channels will be down permanently.
Jodi Ambrose: Based on the email that Dish sent, there are still ways we can view AMC. Do those options come through Dish Network or are they through other venders like Amazon, Roku, etc…
Moises: You can view that through your amazon and itunes.
Jodi Ambrose: At an additional cost, I imagine?
Moises: Not all. (Note what a HUGE LIE this is in the next few interactions.)
Jodi Ambrose: How will we view those shows through other outlets for free? Whenever I watch TV through Amazon, I have to pay 1.99 per episode.
Moises: AMC Networks has further devalued its programming by making its handful of popular shows available to consumers via iTunes, Netflix and Amazon.com. This means that AMC Networks wants us to pay many millions of dollars for content that is available to our subscribers the next day for just a couple of dollars.
Jodi Ambrose: So I will have to pay to watch these shows if I watch them on Amazon, itunes, etc…
Moises: Not all have of the episodes. (Wha? This makes no sense. I guess when not copying and pasting pre-written answers, the CSRs can’t formulate sentences on their own.)
Moises: Only some of the episodes that has a charge.
Jodi Ambrose: Moises, I need you to be straight with me here. If I watch current AMC shows, which used to be included in my Dish Network package, thorough Amazon or another tv streaming outlet, I will now have to pay to view the shows. Please just give me a yes or no answer for clarity’s sake.
Moises: Not all of the shows have a charge. You will be prompted if there is charge on the show that you would like to view.
Jodi Ambrose: Do you know if Breaking Bad and Walking Dead have a charge?
Moises: I am not sure, but it is with itunes.
Jodi Ambrose: Okay, thank you. Please let whoever at dish network know that it’s a shame that you are removing programming from us, and yet still charging the same monthly prices and forcing us to pay money to another company for products that we used to get from you. I will now have to pay approximately $60 more a season to watch two shows that I used to have in my dish programming. What a ridiculous thing for dish network to do to its loyal customers.
Moises: Feel free to share your thoughts and concerns by e-mailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We assure you that we will read every e-mail we receive.
Moises: Would there be anything else that I can assist you with?
Jodi Ambrose: Thanks for the email information. Have a wonderful day, Moises.
I’m telling you, things like this make me wanna sell almost everything I own and go live in a cabin in the woods taking pictures of furry critters for the rest of my days. It’s not that $60 is going to kill me. It’s that Dish Network is so sneaky and lying about it.
I know that Customer Service Reps have it difficult, I know it’s not their fault, and I don’t envy them their jobs, but I sure wish Dish would give them a better script to unload on us. Just tell me this, “Hey Jodi, we wanna make more money than we do now and we’re going to do that by reducing your services but not your monthly fees. We would like our executives and share holders to be able to buy that extra 10 feet of yacht. How do you expect them to survive with only 50 foot yachts? They might as well live in government housing. Poor bastards.”
Well, here’s my thought: KISS MY ASS!!! Or, in a gentler tone, “Kiss my grits!” (Those of you who are old as dirt like me will know what that is from!)