For those of you who know me, you know I have a mouth like a trucker, a smart-ass sense of humor, and sarcasm and I are on a first-name basis. But, hopefully, you also know that my heart tries to always be in the right place and there isn’t a mean bone in my body.
For those of you new here: You’ll learn that quickly! ;)
On this blog, I talk about everything from my constant battle with road rage to horribly embarrassing stories where I’m usually the ass-end of the joke. I go on rants over grammar, stupid shit I see, and various people who appear to torment me for fun.
We’ll dish about love and romance, sex and naughtiness and other way-too-personal stuff. Sometimes I’ll post a recipe from my cookbook or share a friend’s awesome recipe. And occasionally, if I’m doing a book giveaway, I’ll let you know how you can get them for free. Having been ridiculously poor at points in my life, I know what it’s like to not have a dollar to buy gas, so I try to make all of my books as affordable as possible for everyone.
I’m blessed to be in a stupidly-happy marriage to the love of my life and surrounded by furry babies (2 chickens, a hamster named ‘Ster, and 2 goofy kitties). I love otters more than oxygen and will often post pics of any critter adventures the hubby and I go on (San Diego Zoo, Bearizona, Petting Farms, and on and on and on…).
Overall, I tend to be a goofy and happy person with a wild and raunchy streak a mile wide, so feel free to always post your thoughts and opinions here. You can cuss up a storm and be as smarmy as you like. The only things I ask are: Please don’t be unkind to others on my blog. Please don’t go on political rages or post anything racist. I’m all about the love here and while I call it like I see it, I try to never make anyone feel bad. I love hookers, sinners, and preachers alike. No one here is judged, unless you are a mean asshat. Then it’s on! ;)
Really, all you have to do is poke around on a few of my posts to get the gist. We have fun here. If you want a good example, click here and read about The Buzz Muff. It’s a classic tale of misbehaving girl parts! ENJOY!
All that’s above pretty much covers the basics, but if you want to read a little more regarding my three books and how I came to write them, then read on my friend, read on…
Think of me as an ex-80s rocker chick, former high school teacher, and in your face author, all rolled into one. Yes, I donned Farrah Fawcett hair back when it was cool. I wore shoulder pads with pride and had a combination Baltimore/Virginia accent that HAD to go.
Having survived many wild experiences with a strong sense of self and a wickedly saucy sense of humor, I ended up with an axe to grind and a story to tell. Luckily, through all the craziness along the way, I took notes and it’s those notes that helped me write Intimacy: How to Get More of It and Sex: How to Get More of It.
It always seemed to me that people made life so much more difficult than necessary. Pride, game-playing, abject stupidity, thoughtlessness…all of these things combine to turn good people into lousy mates. So, I paid attention. I tracked what types of behavior and language could produce a genuine smile or a rolled eye or a shed tear. What I noticed was that in most cases, people responded to stimuli in a similar way. There are always going to be exceptions, but if the rule holds true 8 out of 10 times, then I thought I could put a checkmark next to it.
For example (and this is so very obvious to women and yet somehow not so much to a lot of men), if a husband/boyfriend/lover checks out another girl while he is with his significant other, at least 8 out of 10 times the girl gets angry. She may not say anything, but I’d see her eye twitch uncontrollably, or a grimace fly briefly across her mouth and I’d know she was at a minimum annoyed, at a maximum livid. I’d immediately think several things:
2. Poor girl.
3. Why would he do that? Is he mentally challenged?
4. JERK! Oh, I already said that one.
5. How does he not know that is bad behavior? Someone should tell him. I’m going to tell him.
Sex: How to Get More of It and Intimacy: How to Get More of It both take a no holds barred approach to relationships for all of the men and women out there. What can you do or not do to bring joy to your significant other? How can you “work it” so that both of you are happy and getting what you need? The titles may be blunt, but I believe in getting straight to the point. Men typically want more sex. Women typically want more intimacy, security and love. These books unlock the mysteries on how to achieve all of that in, believe it or not, 20 easy steps.
Now, as for writing the cookbook…who would have guessed?? I’ve spent the vast majority of my life trying to avoid cooking! Then I met my hubby Grant who loves nothing more than spending 3 hours in the kitchen concocting some amazing dish that makes my mouth water as soon as I smell it. I must admit, that concept is as foreign to me as enjoying a root canal, but he simply loves cooking up a delicious meal.
When I began contemplating writing a cookbook, it occurred to me that Grant and I couldn’t be the only couple in the world that is made up of one cooking lover and one cooking hater (disliker? avoider?). And then, ah ha! That thought sparked an idea. How about if I write a cookbook that is half-written for people who enjoy spending time in the kitchen and half-written for people who wouldn’t mind never entering it again. That’s how Darn Good Eats: The Cookbook for Creative Chefs (hubby) and Reluctant Cooks (me) came into being. I figured this way, the cookbook would be perfect for anyone as it contains super easy recipes and fantastically complicated ones too. So whether you love to cook or hate it with a passion (but have to do it sometimes, even if it is against your will!) this cookbook has recipes for you!
Regardless of which books you get, I hope you enjoy them and that they make life a bit brighter, happier and fun. Hugs!