Apr 26 2013

Favor? Pretty please with sugar on top?

TGIMFF!!! (Yeah, TGIF just doesn’t capture how happy I am that it’s Friday!) The hubby and I are doing a double feature tomorrow. First, Pain and Gain. Any suggestions for movie number 2?

As for the favor, I’m wondering if those of you who I sent complimentary copies of my books to, or who got in on the $.99 Kindle/Nook book special, would do me a favor? If you got the books and enjoyed them, can you pretty please leave a delicious review of them on Amazon? I hate to even ask, but I’d be super grateful. After Amazon went bonkers last year and deleted tons of reviews off of everyone’s books including mine (I will still never understand why they did that), it appears that hardly anyone has read my books when they actually do quite well. It was so devastating to go from having tons of all 5-star reviews (except 1 from someone who liked the content but not my slightly naughty mouth ) to having almost no reviews at all. Absolutely heartbreaking.

I heard back from tons of you via email on how much you laughed or how yummy the food was–and was so delighted by your wonderful stories, but it would be great to see that wonderful commentary on Amazon too. And just so you know, it doesn’t have to be a tome. It could literally be one happy sentence and I’d be thrilled. I’d really appreciate it, my lovely blog buddies, if you’d help me out with this. And if you don’t want to or didn’t like the books, I totally understand and don’t feel like you have to leave a review–no pressure. I just thought I’d ask those of you who did enjoy them or got a good chuckle out of them to leave a review.

If you do decide to post a review (for any or all books), just click on the pictures below and it’ll take you right to the book’s Amazon page.

Thanks so much, guys! I really appreciate it! Love you!

Kitty says, “To all of you who’ve already left reviews, thank you! Mommy and I love you!!!”

Mar 6 2013

Shortest Post Ever: Things I’ve Learned Today

I am NOT OLD, dammit, but I barely knew ONE FRIGGIN’ song being sung on American Idol the last two nights. What the hell is going on here? Is there a conspiracy to make me feel out of touch with what the kids are up to these days? Oh God. I said, “the kids.” Okay. I’m old.
American Idol is better when you have 2 things: 1) Frozen chocolate icing on a spoon 2) A fast-forward button.
I am lazier than I thought as I have remote controls on half the lights in my house so I don’t have to move to turn one on or off.
Then again, I’m not particularly lazy as I do bust my butt doing a million things a day. Okay, I’m lazy about lights. I can live with that. Oh, and dishes too. And washing the sheets. And vacuuming. Okay, kinda lazy.
I truly love my doppelganger, crazy as a shit-house rat hamster. She is truly entertaining and nutso cuckoo.
I dislike stepping in cat puke. Did it twice today in bare feet. Ick. I wiped it off with a paper towel and then used anti-bacterial wash from Bath & Body Works. Think that was good enough?

Oh, and I found one of those age progression sites where they’ll take a pic of you and turn you into an old lady. Here’s what my old ass probably looks like to those teeny boppers singing all those songs that I’ve never heard of before.

Okay, that’s it for What Jodi Learned (or Pondered) Today.

I hope you are all having a lovely night.

Picture copyright Denis Cox, illustrationsof.com

Feb 7 2013

How the Hubby and I Cope with Missing Each Other When He’s out of Town.

Meet Tick Teddy. Tick Teddy is one bad ass mo fo who takes no guff offa anyone. At the same time, he is a sweet little creature and even though he looks like a bloated, blood-filled tick, we love him all the same.

Tick Teddy is very blessed and gets to fly around the world with Daddy on his travels. Tick Teddy has been everywhere. This week he’s in Vancouver, BC and lovin’ life. Actually, I think he may be partying a bit much, but he can take it. Like I said, he’s bad ass.

So, today I get a picture of Tick doing his thing with a little commentary to go along with it. This is how the conversation ensued.

Tick Teddy gettin’ his spin on!

Email from Tick Teddy to Mommy:

Oh …daddy told me that you are a piece of ass…what does that mean?

Email from Mommy to Tick Teddy:

Tick Teddy…I think it’s time we had “the talk.”

Daddy is what is known as a perverted stinker. Perverted stinkers like to grab hold of sweet, angelic little girls (like Mommy) and defile them with their joysticks. In order for perverted stinkers like Daddy to want to take advantage of that doe-like innocence, the girl must first be, as Daddy said, “a piece of ass.” Otherwise, Daddy’s joystick isn’t so full of joy.

Now, go kick Daddy for making me corrupt you like this at your sweet and tender age. Oh, and while he’s curled up in the floor crying from your swift kick, tell him Mommy loves him. It’s good to measure out both pleasure and pain at the same time–but that discussion is for another day.

Mommy loves you, Tick Teddy!

Yep, that’s how we do it in the Ambrose house.

Nov 23 2012

R.I.P. sweet little hamster

Well, dammit.

Less than 24 hours ago I was counting my blessings, including the fact that my old ass hamster was still amongst the living. Little did I know he only had 8 hours of life left.

I love you Hamster. Mommy and Daddy miss you tremendously. There will never be a fuzzy-butted little hamster anywhere near as wonderful and sweet as you.