Okay gentlemen, you are allowed to read this, but it’s really for the ladies.
Of course I’m going to put a disclaimer here because you know how I am. :)
Guys, you know I love you. I’m a terrific fan of men. I love them so much I married me one. But that is not to say that sometimes the ladies couldn’t use a little dose of “Kicking Ass and Taking Names.” I know I’ve had those moments in my life and I just thought if any of the ladies out there needed a little extra support, girl power (though I loathe that expression), or encouragement that I’d share with them what helped me straighten my ass out when I was going through a bit of a rough time.
So, before I share with you what helped me, I’m going to tell you a brief story. I did a post on this over a year ago, so I’ll make it short and sweet here.
I’ve not always had the best luck with men. Those of you who know me well or have read the intro to my Sex book know that I’ve dated ALL kinds of guys. While I have not a single regret in life (thank God), I have experienced quite a lot of shit over the years. The good thing is that I learned from it all and got wiser along the way.
Well, not too long before I met my wonderful hubby, I was dating a guy (not seriously at all) and he called me one day and said he wanted to marry me and wanted me to give him a daughter (you guys know I don’t want kids and he knew this too). BUT!!!! I had to “be better” first. What? I have to be WHAT first? Dumb asshat mother fucker.
As you can imagine, with those words I was done. D.O.N.E. But I was also fascinated by what he meant by “better.” So I asked. I was curious after all. What on earth could this idiot mean?
It turns out that he’d cyber stalked me and found pictures of me from my early 20s when I was a model. So he thought that almost 20 years later that I should look the exact same as I did then. Clearly he’s a total fuckin’ moron. Do most cars look the same 20 years later? Do your slippers not age over time? Had his dumb ass looked in a mirror lately? Now, I know I sound angry, but honest to God I wasn’t (and am not now–you know how much I like sarcastic 4-letter words! :) ) I actually found this quite entertaining. What he didn’t realize he was saying was, “I’m the type of guy who will cheat on you when you get older. I always want a woman to look 20 so you better never get a gray hair or gain a pound. I will hit mid-life crisis and go wild. I will not support you as you age because real women aren’t supposed to age, etc…” So many things he communicated in such a short sentence.
Needless to say I never answered a phone call or text from him ever again. Fuck that noise.
Now on to my little ball-kickin’, ass-smackin’, take no guff empowerment for the ladies!
Right after this idiot showed his ass, I heard this song and it changed my life in so many ways. I was always a strong girl. Sweet but with a taking care of business, don’t fuck with me head, and a kind and forgiving heart. Lord knows I’m no saint, but I do try to be kind. Well, there’s a time for “kind” and a time to stand the hell up. That’s what this song is all about. It’s about knowing that you and your thoughts and your actions are as valuable as the opposite sex’s thoughts and actions and not to let anyone or anything make you feel otherwise.
I liked it so much I wrote the lyrics down and put them on an old picture of mine (from days when I was “better!” HA!) and hung it on the wall right inside my front door to remind me daily that I can look however the fuck I want, that no one looks like a supermodel (not even supermodels do thanks to Mr. Airbrush) and that if someone doesn’t like me for who I am they can go bite a dick. ;)
Below is the pic in case any of you ladies want the lyrics. There is also the song. It has more than one naughty word in it, but it is BRILLIANT and I love it and it’s my anthem, but if there are small ears around put in your earbuds.
The best way to enjoy it the first time is to hit play and then read along with the lyrics so you know what she’s saying. Then just crank it to 11 and let your ears bleed! :)