When did SEX lose the SEXY?

Okay, so I like to skip through 95% of the MTV Video Music Awards cause most of it sucks and makes my brain hurt. It makes me long for the days of Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Alice in Chains. Shit, it makes me long for Lionel Richie!

But every once in a rare while something good will pop up on-screen, so while I keep my finger on the Fast Forward button most of the time, I’m occasionally entertained.

In watching a seemingly 29-hour-long show in about 15 minutes, one thing became perfectly clear to me: Sex has lost the Sexy.

For example, Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus spent more time simulating sex and fondling their own muffs than most people have done in the preceding 6 months.

Don’t get me wrong. I love me a sexy girl doing a sexy little dance. Who doesn’t? But “sexy” is the operative word. Not a whorin’-down-by-the-docks-for-crack-money type of dancing. Unless of course it’s actual porn you’re after, then you go on with your bad self.

What I’m talking about is the lead-up…the seduction…what lures you in…

You guys know that I’m all about sexual freedom. I don’t care if you screw a turnip as long as you are enjoying yourself and hurting no one (assuming, of course, that turnips can’t feel your perverted body parts all over them!). ;)

I think part of what makes society all fucked up over sexual things is the inherent vibe that sexual stuff is naughty, and provocative behavior is slutty (especially if you are a chick). I’m all about embracing sexiness in any which way you please.

So, I’m not complaining about the sexuality of it all. I’m complaining because the tease is such a big part of sexy yum yumminess and it seems that the tease has gone the way of the Dodo bird.

I remember when I was in my early 20s watching this video and thinking these girls were the sexiest things on 2 legs.


And this song? Yeah, this song is delicious. Click on the chick to listen to it.



And this one? Yep. I’m in. Even though the lyrics aren’t sex-pot-filled… that slow, dripping beat… good God…  I can totally picture Liv Tyler doing her sexy little stage dance to this song.


Now, I’m not saying there isn’t a time and place for raunchiness. I’m no saint! ;) But I think there is something to be said for the burlesque in the seduction. Does it always have to go straight to gynecology?

Advertising your sex isn’t innovative or cutting edge or scandalous. People have been doing it since literally the very first people walked the earth.

I guess I just find clever sexuality to be sexier. Give my mind time to wander around in lust and mystery, envisioning the next thing to come, rather than shoving it in my face and leaving nothing to my imagination.

Okay, I’m done with my rant. I just want the world to do what JT used to sing about: Bring Sexy Back. ;)

What the f*ck is up with Duck Face?


Ladies, please believe me when I say that this ‘posing for pictures with a duck face’ phenomena is a load of horse shit. Can you please stop doing it? Please? I’ll give you a dollar.

The first time I noticed this “trend” is when a friend of mine’s daughter posted one on FB a few years ago. It was kinda cute and silly, but certainly didn’t show her off to be the stunningly gorgeous girl she is. Now, don’t get me wrong. God knows I’ve posted horrifyingly ridiculous pics of my own face here and on FB–I’m not against looking like a freak/weirdo/whackadoo in a picture. They’d be boring if they all looked the same. But over the last few years I see more and more often that young girls in particular always take these self portraits while dressed in bootie shorts, too-tight half-shirts and donning a duck face. Why, I beg of you…why?

I can’t quite figure out why anyone (in most cases) would think duck face is sexy, hot, pretty, etc… (Oh my God. Epiphany here. I’ve just turned into my mother yelling at me to get my hair outta my face. I guess there’s a different mom reprimand with each generation. Good grief. Now I’m going to need therapy.)

Okay, back to duck face. Below is a random sampling of duck face pics I pulled off of Google images. I chopped off the tops of their heads so that no one would be identifiable, though I’m sure all these ladies are lovely and delightful when normal-faced–which is just one more reason I don’t understand duck face. Can anyone tell me why this is the only way to take a picture nowadays if you are under the age of 30?

duck 7 duck 6 duck 2duck 4duck 3duck 1duck 5

Just to show that I’m no hypocrite, here are several of me with my own duck face, and even one with Grant, (thought they were mostly taken before the duck face phenomena became rampant and I had a specific reason for intentionally looking like an ass in each one!). ;)

Jodi duck face2Jodi duck face  Jodi duck face3Jodi and grant duck face

Good grief…why am I sooooooooo white in that one pic?

Okay, I’m now done with my first rant of the new year, quickly written on my lunch break while scarfing pizza. Whew! :)