What the Hell? It’s Spring Fever up in here! ;)

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I promise that I am not setting these pics up.

I know that seems impossible.

Alas, it is true.

I come into a room and voila, this is what I see.

I have to wonder if they are sentient and doing shit while my head is turned.

Or maybe it’s the kitties sneaking around, setting them up and being all naughty and perverse.

Either way, may you enjoy the filth that goes on in my house on a daily basis. ;)

I walk in to go to bed and what do I find? Daisy is a naughty little cowie!

Daisy and Otter

This scene greeted me last night at 3am.

Eve is going to town on sweet, innocent little W.A.L.L.E. Good grief!

WALLE and Eve

This one is just fucked up! She looks ridden hard and put away filthy! If I was as flexible as Lambchop, I’d never leave the house!

Lambchop

By the way, my latest article came out at Acquiring Man magazine. It tells you all about the perfect gift (for free!) for your hot mama this holiday season. Check it out here. :) XOXO

Here’s a little teaser pic for what you can expect. ;)

Naughty Balls

Oh yeah…it’s NOOKIE-TIME!

Yep…it’s that time again. My latest yarn on all things nookie related is out, about and ready to be read by all you perverts out there. ;) Kidding! Well, it is ready to read, but you don’t have to be a pervert (though I KNOW most of you are!) Feel free to pop on over the The Acquiring Man magazine for my monthly column.

Acquiring Man Oct Article

Beyond me trying to help you get some knickers on the floor, let’s see what else is going on around here while I’m plagued with insomnia.

Things I was thinking about last night while laying in bed begging God (and sleeping pills) to help me sleep:

  1. If I don’t stop thinking about work I’m going to hang myself. (Yeah…kept thinking about work for a while…and then these thoughts came and distracted me.)
  2. Why can’t I have two otters in the pool in the backyard? That would make my life complete.
  3. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand why God made oil, butter, cream, cheese and Italian deli meats so fattening? Why can’t it all be healthy like broccoli? Was it just to test us? Ugh!
  4. I wonder if my teddy bears talk and run around while I’m gone? I sometimes come home and they’ve moved–how can that happen? Are the kitties playing with them?
  5. I wonder just how much information my hamster’s brain actually processes. Ahhh…to be a hamster for one minute.
  6. What am I going to wear to my class reunion in a couple of weeks? I hate my clothes!
  7. Crap…gotta get my hair dyed as NOW I HAVE FUCKING GRAY HAIRS! (Okay, gray hair–singular, but still.)
  8. Maybe I’ll head to Macy’s and see if I can find something pretty to wear. Man, I hate shopping.
  9. I wish Clark Color would put their wall art on sale again. I’m NOT paying full price. Nope, not gonna happen.
  10. I hope my sister likes all her insane birthday presents.
  11. Why have so many people stopped pronouncing consonants in words? It’s not “di’in’t” it’s fucking “diDn’t.” Kill me.
  12. UFFF! Cat jumped dead center onto my left boob. OUCH!
  13. I wonder if the cat does that shit on purpose? I may have to kill her.
  14. Dammit, now I’m never going to go to sleep–cat scratch on nip.
  15. I love FrootLoops. I want some right now. (So, I go get a dry bowl of them…)
  16. Shit…the crunching is waking up the man. Gotta let them soak in my mouth til mushy, then chew. Eww…not so good. (Went and sat in the floor in the hall to finish eating them.)

Yep, those are my 3am ramblings. Sorry you had to suffer through them too!!

Have a great weekend. I’ve been on my computer for about 70 hours this week and I have to put it down for at least a few hours or I’m going to become unpleasant. XOXOXO

 

I LOVE COWIES (and other furries), DAMMIT!!

Woo hoo! I nabbed a computer for a few hours and had to jump on here and say hi. I miss you guys! I feel like I live back in the 80s before the Internet and awesome blog buddies and all that good stuff.

While I wait for my currently technologically-challenged life to get back to normal, I thought I’d share a few more pics from my Bearizona adventure. They make me smile just looking at them.

Love you guys! Have a great weekend and I hope to be back to my normal blathering self soon. XOXOXOXOX

BABY BEAR BUTT

BABY BEAR BUTT!!!! What on earth is as cute as that???

HUGS!!!

BABY BEAR

Grrrrr…I’m a ferocious bear! Grrrrr….. (I wanted to EAT him!) :)

COWIE

Moo. Moo moo. Moo. They walked right in front of the car and just hung out. It was awesome!!!

CUTIE BEAR

If this little furry doesn’t define what a Doofus Bear is, I don’t know what would. :)

HUGS!

Farewell Evil Computer…Hello Awesome Hamster!

So this nightmarish, pissing me off, wanna take a bat to it computer is off to the shop tomorrow! Woo hoo!

Sorry I’ve been so utterly unavailable, but typing with my left hand only (I’m right handed) while I hold the power cord in with my right hand SUCKS DONKEY BALLS! ;) Once I get my computer back, I too will be back with a vengeance and you’ll all want to run for your lives! ;)

To bid you adieu for a short time, I’m going to leave you with a little video treat of me and my hamster. It’s only about 90 seconds and it builds to the final payoff at the end (unlike porn where the climax comes early–no pun intended!).

Enjoy my furry little friend and I’ll talk to you all when I get my ‘puter back.

HUGS and TONS OF LOVE!

Oh and forgive the ungodly mess and all the squished teddy bears in the floor! This is the room where we are storing everything as we remodel the living room, so it is not pretty. Not pretty at all. :)

I Made Me a New Kitty!

Howdy!

I’m heading out of town on business, so I may be away for a few days. I wanted to leave you with a vision of my newest pet, Baldie, compliments of FuzzyButt the Cat, while I’m away.

Fuzz ball

That is ONE short brushing of FuzzyButt and I know it’s hard to tell but that fur ball is as big as 2 fists! It’s a wonder we don’t asphyxiate on kitty fur!

Hugs!

R.I.P. sweet little hamster

 

Well, dammit.

Less than 24 hours ago I was counting my blessings, including the fact that my old ass hamster was still amongst the living. Little did I know he only had 8 hours of life left.

I love you Hamster. Mommy and Daddy miss you tremendously. There will never be a fuzzy-butted little hamster anywhere near as wonderful and sweet as you.

Little Hamster’s first day with his new family. SWAK!

Daddy, after a hard day’s work, playing with the little guy. He loved little Hamster too.

Our sweet little baby his first night in his new home.