I Kicked my Pedicurist in the Face!!!

Okay, so in reality I didn’t actually kick her in the face, but it is one of my greatest fears!

Every time I sit down in that wonderful massage chair, all I can think about while she’s either trimming my cuticles or sloughing all the hideous dead skin off my feet (ewww…gross) is that I’m going to have a knee-jerk reaction and smash my foot into her head! I can picture the whole scene. She goes sailing off that little foot stool, blood flying everywhere. Everyone rushes over to pick her up while screaming at me, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!!!” The cops are called and life as I know it becomes a distant memory.

I have no idea why I fear this. I’ve not yet kicked anyone, but it’s one of those irrational fears I just have to live with.

So, since I’m freaking nuts, I thought I’d ask you guys out there if you have some irrational (or rational) fear you are stuck living with.

Here’s a list of mine, beyond face smashing:

  1. Tripping and landing on a hard object with my eye or teeth and being deformed for the rest of my days.
  2. Having a spider dangle down from the ceiling when I’m doing bathroom things and having it take up residence in my muff (laugh as you will, but this happened to me when I was 16, on vacation at the beach. Clearly, I need some therapy over that experience!)
  3. Slipping and saying a very bad 4-letter word when on the radio.
  4. Losing my Pink Teddy (I’ve slept with her every night for 35 years. I love her. Yes, I’m a toddler.)
  5. Getting tummy-sick while on a long plane ride.
  6. Not being able to figure out why the font in my bulleted lists is different from the font in the rest of my posts. Driving me bonkers!!!!

Okay, those are my biggest and most irrational fears. I want to hear yours, so spill it!

25 comments on “I Kicked my Pedicurist in the Face!!!

    • Feet of Fury! I love that!!! I was ticklish when I was a kid, but not so much anymore. I don’t know why I always worry about booting my pedicurist in the face.

      And I’m glad to hear you have no weird fears! I wish I could say the same as clearly I’m nuts. πŸ˜‰

      Hugs!

      Like

  1. The only thing that comes to mind is I’m always looking behind me when I’m braking to see if the guy behind me is going to be able to stop in time. I’m always leary of being next to 18-wheelers, but given the car I drive, that’s probably more logical than weird.

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    • My mom is just like that with 18-wheelers (not to say you are an old woman!). Hee hee hee….

      At least if you get rear-ended, the other guy has to pay for the damage. Not that neck braces and whiplash are fun.

      Thanks for sharing. At least I no longer feel like the only person on earth who has unusual fears. πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. I’ve experienced dangling spiders frequently. It’s funny, my Mom used to say I had “SpiDAR” – meaning that I could sense the presence of spiders. I grew up with a room in the basement. I would literally wake up as one was coming down on its little drag line, just in time, RIGHT BEFORE it crawled on me. Ok, I will stop, no doubt this has you freaked. But I’ve had this happen so many times that I got over my fear of spiders. πŸ™‚

    Irrational fears, hmm, fun question.

    I worry that I will be driving someday (when I get to do that again) and someone will rear end me and my neck will snap since it is so fragile – and I’ll be paralyzed forever.

    I am terrified of flying. I think I would rather swim across the ocean to get to my destination than get on a plane. TERROR!

    I still wake up in the night to check for bogeymen. Laugh. I do. If I wake up and my foot is hanging over the edge of the bed, I have a fear that something “creepy” will grab it, laughing sadistically the whole time. Shivers!

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  3. SpiDAR!!!! Holy shit! I freakin’ HATE spiders so much. I scream like a little girl when I see a spider. I can handle snakes, I love rodents, but put a 1/8 inch spider anywhere near me and I want to burn the house down. πŸ™‚

    As for your irrational fears. Let’s take those one at a time.

    1) Totally not irrational! I’d be scared half to death too. I’d say you have every right to have nerves about the idiots driving behind you. (Quick question, and don’t feel like you have to answer, why don’t you drive now?)

    2) I’m not a big fan of flying either. I mean, I KNOW that there are physics involved in why planes go up and stay up, but I can’t wrap my head around it. Plus, I like being able to say, “Pull over and let me out,” and you just can’t do that on a plane.

    3) I had my bed on the floor until only 4 years ago for the very same reason! Yep, 2 peas in a pod, we are!!!! πŸ™‚ When I was 14, my step-sister layed under my bed with her ketchup covered foot sticking out. It freaked me out sooooo bad that my bed went on the floor that night and stayed there for almost 25 year.

    Thanks so much for letting me know that I’m not the one only one out there with weird phobias! Makes me feel MUCH better!!!! XOXOX

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  4. Wow, these are all pretty good. I too fear being run into from behind, but not just by an 18 wheeler…just anyone. I’ve also thought about falling and landing on a hard object, subjecting myself to disfigurement. I guess the one I’ll add, however, is a fear of falling objects. I find myself walking next to tall buildings wondering if I’d know an air conditioner had dislodged, or a flower pot, and was heading straight for my head. Or if as I pass a construction site, a piece of construction equipment came flying off of the top floor, only to fall directly on top of me. No one walks around looking up all of the time, but gravity does prevail, so the possibility seems reasonable. Oh great, now this will weigh heavy on my mind as I walk to work tomorrow. That’s my “kick the pedicurist in the face” fear.

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    • Hey there, GT. I had no idea getting hit from behind was such a prevalent fear. I’m more scared of hitting someone else because then I have to pay for the booboo. Sorry, that sounds awful!! πŸ™‚

      Oh, now I think I too may be afraid of falling objects!!! Yikes! Gravity is not your friend when walking by construction sites. Wear a hard hat! You’ll look a little odd, but it may help. πŸ˜‰

      Honest to goodness, my Kick the Pedicurist fear gets me EVERY time. I sit in anguish until the cuticle nipping and foot scrubbing is over. After that, I’m good to go. Sorry about giving you a new phobia! I’m rotten to the core.

      Thanks so much for dropping by. It was great meeting you (virtually). Have a good night!

      Like

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