The Muff Spider had his way with me!

DAMMIT!!! So, just a few days after writing about one of my greatest fears (having my muff assaulted from above by a dangling spider) I get bit (thank God NOT near my girlie parts) by some kind of spider from Hell. With 12 hours my arm was bright red and swollen. So, off to Urgent Care the hubby and I go to see if they can, you know, NOT amputate my arm. 😉

The triage nurse said, “Ewwwww!!! That looks painful and gross.” Which actually made me laugh. The doctor said, “OUCH! I bet that hurts like Hell.” Again, I laughed. I find it delightful to gross out and horrify people in the medical profession.

After analyzing the disfigurement that used to be my arm, the doc tells me they are going to be “aggressive” in treating me and put me on some kind of antibiotic that makes me vomit in an Exorcist-like fashion. Ahhh…it’s fun being me this weekend!

Good news, the vile, evil, ouchy swelling has decreased a bit, though it’s still a fiery, angry red in color. I haven’t vomited in 6 hours (next pill due to be ingested in about 3 hours.)

So, here are my thoughts on spider: All of you moth&^ fu*@ing, ass hat, evil, fanged monster sons of bitches should stay away from both my muff and the rest of my body!!!

Once I’m feeling a bit more human, I shall resume being a friendly chick on WordPress. Until then, I’m pretending I don’t have a computer (except for this post, of course.) 🙂

20 comments on “The Muff Spider had his way with me!

  1. Youch! One reason I like living in the UK. Nothing here that can hurt you much more than a bee sting. It’s a benign little country. Like Luxembourg only a bit bigger and more interesting. 🙂


    • I am getting on a plane today and moving. I love the idea of a benign little country. Especially one without blood-sucking, arm-mutilating spiders! 😉 Hope you had a good weekend!


  2. OH NOOOOOOOO! I am so sorry. I had a feeling that was going to happen and I don’t know WHY. Ouch! Oh, Jodi, I hope you feel better soon. It’s getting to be spider season (gee, you hadn’t noticed) around here. Be careful. Consider Teflon undies or maybe just buy a spacesuit. “One small step for mankind, a setback for spiders.” Ack!


    • “Teflon undies” had me on the floor laughing!! 🙂 Honest to goodness, I can’t even imagine what kind of evil varmint bit me. My arm is still red, painful and swollen and the meds make me puke. Ugh!

      It is now my mission to eradicate those little shits if they are within a mile of my house. It’ll be hard, but I’m determined! 😉

      PS: I love the word “Ack!” I used to use it in instant messaging all the time and my friends would ask me, “What does Ack stand for?” My first thought was, Are you dim? They thought it was an acronym. I think that word kicks butt. 😉


      • Ugh. I am so sorry about the vomiting. That is just as bad as the bite! A Desert Recluse is my guess. Or one of the Desert Centipedes. Did it get a white, fluid-filled blister in the center?

        A suggestion you will like:

        This stuff is the BEST for bugs. Kinda pricey, yes, but so worth it. Works for several months. This is the only product I use. You need to go to the vet’s office to buy it. 🙂

        One of my other followers said “Ack!” is very Scottish. Well my great-grandmother was Scottish and she said it all the time. I have been asked that, too. Laughing. XO I love that word, also.


        • I’m totally going to check out that link. THANK YOU!!! We almost never have bugs in the house, but another little creepy 8-legged bastard crawled across my BOOB today! WTF????

          Not sure what kind of spider it was. It didn’t get blistery, thank God, but my arm was red and swollen for about 6 inches in diameter. Total suck! It’s getting better, though. Yay!

          Have a good night, my ACK pea in a pod friend! 🙂


  3. It could have been worse. Imagine all of the comments the doctor and nurse made…now imagine that it was for a bite in the “muff” area.

    Thank you for not naming the projectile vomit inducing, anti-biotic. There are many people here in Los Angeles that would seek it out as a quick fix, weight loss aid.


    • Thinness by Spider Bite Drugs! That’s going to be the name of my new book! 😉 Yeah, the spider certainly could have assaulted a more tender body part, so I should really consider myself lucky! 😉

      Thanks for dropping by. It’s great seeing you here. Hugs!


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