I Smell Like a Stripper? What?

I’ve always wondered what a stripper smelled like. Apparently, the answer is like cotton candy and vanilla. Who knew?

My sweet, beautiful sister bought a new fragrance and was told by her husband that it made her smell like a stripper. Her first (and hilarious) response was, “How does my husband know what a stripper smells like since he’s been married to me for 10 years?” That shit cracked me up!!! Of course, I had to chime in and ask about the fragrance. Any scent that reminded men of hot strippers is something I needed to be wearing. Immediately!

So, I asked what the scent was, bought it, and upon first spraying some on my neck my husband fell in love with the way I smelled. Now, I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW if it reminds him of fond childhood stripper memories. Ignorance is bliss, my friends. But regardless of any memory the smell triggered, he loves it. So I went and bought the hair perfume too. Yep, they also make it in hair scent. That way, every time you toss your hair in a flirtatious manner or sweat like a mountain gorilla in the summer heat, gee, your hair will smell terrific!

Ladies, if you want to smell edible (seriously, I wanna eat my own neck and drink the bottle every time I spray it) you should give this a try. Best part is, it’s not expensive. I got mine at Overstock.com (LOVE that dang site) for about $25 for 3.4 ounces. Well worth it.

Oh, are you curious about what the fragrance is? I’m such a tease. You must prepare yourselves because the name could be taken in a few ways. I’m a filthy pervert, so I always go to the dark side (which I will kindly keep to myself.)

Pink Sugar! Go get some! 🙂

LOOK MA!! I won me a prize! Look! Look!

You guys are gonna make me cry!!!! Seriously, all this sweetness is simply wonderful. Especially, since I just run off at the mouth so much. To know you guys enjoy it thrills me to the bottom of my incredibly wide Flintstone feet. 🙂

I am so blessed to have been awarded the Sisterhood of the World Blogger award!! Sweet!!! HUGE thanks to the wonderful thesubterraneanworld who has both wonderful poetry but also posts the prettiest pictures!  Her blog is wonderfully varied and amazing and everyone should check it out. THANK YOU!!! 🙂

So, here are the 7 things about me that you may not know (though I tend to spill it all anyway!):

  1. I wear a necklace everyday that contains the dried petals of the first flower my hubby ever gave me (on Thanksgiving 2007)
  2. I just bought a double sized Snickers, stuck it in the fridge and plan on scraping all the chocolate off of it first (with my teeth of course) then eating the center of it. Yum!
  3. I currently have 7 teddy bears surrounding me on the sofa.
  4. My chicken just started laying eggs this week. Woo hoo!
  5. I’m going to put soft lights under my sofa and tv stand for nice ambient lighting.
  6. My birthday is next week!
  7. The toenail on my big toe on my left foot is all weird and narrow because I had to get surgery on it when I was 19. OUCH! If you ever have to identify me in the morgue, just look at my toe.

Alright, time to get to the good stuff! Here are my nominations (I guess I have to stick with chicks, right? Does a boy want a Sisterhood award?)

  1. http://readncook.wordpress.com/
  2. http://hutchagoodlife.wordpress.com/
  3. http://fiztrainer.tumblr.com/
  4. http://415whisperer.wordpress.com/
  5. http://zenandtheartofborderlinemaintenance.com/

Thanks again, thesubterraneanworld, for the kind award. My heart’s just all filled up now. 🙂


Reasons I Am NEVER Cleaning ANYTHING again.

I’m not domestic. Not at all. I loathe cleaning. I hate doing laundry. I despise cooking. The vacuum is not my friend. My car looks like homeless people took it over years ago and have lived in it ever since. I don’t do cat litter (I hired a service for YEARS to clean my cat litter. Had to give them a key to the house–could have robbed me blind and molested my kitties. Luckily, he was a sweetheart and never got inappropriate with the furries. God, where did that come from? Sicko.) I don’t do dishes. If I was rich enough, I’d pay someone to come wash and dry my hair every other day.

Now, I know that sounds lazy as hell. But I swear, it’s not simple laziness (though that is a part.)

Here are the reasons, beyond being less domestic than a corpse, that I don’t do stuff:

  1. I broke the garbage disposal. I have no idea how. I always run water in it. I always check it for objects before turning it on. Alas, I broke it.
  2. I clogged the toilet with floor cleaning TP. We were out of papertowels (which I know to throw in the trash) so I used TP. I put that where TP normally goes, but it stopped up the pot.
  3. I put dishes in the dishwasher and somehow missed pre-cleaning one, so there was stuck-on food all over everything and it all had to be rewashed.
  4. I broke the belt on the vacuum.
  5. I spilled coffee all over everywhere trying to dust. Damn cup got in my way! I had to show it who’s boss. Then spent 20 minutes cleaning up the coffee. It went everywhere including a power strip (yeah, that’s safe), phone charger, bed, nightstand, under the bed and nightstand, over 2 of my teddybears and on and on and on…
  6. I knocked over a 15 pound salt lamp and broke my foot in 4 places.
  7. I tried to grate cheese and grated my thumb into the mix. Yes. We ate thumb on our pasta that night.

I could go on for days here.

So, as you can see, it’s not just laziness that keeps me from being a Domestic Goddess. Domesticity hates me back. As a reslut (why do I always type, “reslut” instead of “result?”), I am breaking up with Domesticity. Forever. Good riddance to brooms, sponges, vacuums, papertowels, dishwashers and the like. Poop on all of your heads! 😉

Image procured from: http://www.picgifs.com/clip-art/cleaning/19836/clip-art-cleaning-385513/

Love Is All About The No Mixey Mixey

So, here you were thinking that love was all about the ketchup, and now I’m throwing this at you? Oh yeah, I’m throwin’ it!

First, let me just say that I know I’m weird. I am fully self-aware about this! 🙂 But, I don’t like my food all mixing together. My hubby, eating the same breakfast, would dump all of this in a bowl, swirl it around and mix it all together. To that I say, “Blech! Icky!” I like each food to taste like each food, not some conglomeration of flavors where you can’t appreciate each item on its own. I bet he’d happily just blend all his food together in a Magic Bullet and have a breakfast shake. EWWW!!!

Luckily, I’ve not only gotten my husband in on this No Mixey Mixey way of life (he came up with this name, cute little shit that he is!) but my mom now buys me No Mixey Mixey plates wherever she can find them. This particular plate has monkeys, chickens and other adorable critters on it. How perfect a plate is that for me, as I’m a lover of all things furry!!

This, my friends, just like Mr. Ketchup Man, is a perfect way to show love without spending any money. I’m am not a believer in spending money to make people happy. Doing that is the easy way out. Doing something like this shows how deeply he loves me and all it took was using a different plate. Oh, and of course cooking it all! You guys know how I hate to cook. I’d starve to death if it wasn’t for the hubby. Hmmm…maybe an extended vacation on his part would help me lose that last 5 pounds. Naw…I’d probably just order a pizza and 5 cannolis! 🙂


YOUR opinion needed. Emotional affairs. Harmless or Harmful?

Hey everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. If you are in the States, I hope you are enjoying a nice, long holiday weekend! 🙂

I have a radio show coming up on June 4th on Cougar Chat Radio and we will be discussing emotional affairs.

This is such a controversial topic because so many people think that as long as there is no physical contact that anything is okay. Some people think that emotional affairs are worse than physical ones because they bind people’s hearts together, which can be even stickier than hot nookie.

Usually, I’d have some crazy story for you, full of fun expletives, smarmy commentary and inappropriate jokes. But this time, I don’t want to sway you one way other another. I would love to hear your stories about how emotional affairs have affected you. Whether you were the one in the emotional affair or were on the receiving end of one.

I have 2 polls below, one for guys and one for girls. But I would also really like to hear your stories. I’m going to list several questions and if you want to answer them, that would be great. If you want to leave any other kind of comment, that would be great too.

Thanks ahead of time for sharing with me.


  1. Have you ever had an emotional affair?
  2. If you have:
    1. How did you feel about it? Okay? Guilty? Turned on?
    2. Did it affect your life with your significant other? If so, how?
    3. Did you tell your significant other about it? If so, what happened?
    4. Would you do it again?
  3. Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner had an emotional affair?
  4. If so:
    1. How did you find out about it?
    2. How did you react?
    3. How did it affect your relationship and your ability to trust?
  5. Do you think emotional affairs are worse/better than physical affairs? Why? Why not?

PS: I’ve no clue why the boy poll is smaller than the girl poll. There is nothing subliminal going on, I promise. 🙂

Thanks again for sharing with me. Your thoughts and opinions are very valued and appreciated.

Image procured from: http://www.jerkmagazine.net/columns/single/what-is-cheating.html