Just grab what you want by the who-ha!

It’s amazing the things you find when you clean a garage (most miserable friggin’ chore on earth!) I found a little teeny weeny diary from when I was 22 and I’m going to share a few pages with you.

People always tell you to put things in black and white. I suggest that to people sometimes myself. It’s simply amazing how when you are able to articulate what you want, you can get it. Okay, maybe not everything. I can articulate that I want $17, 000,000,000 and I’m likely not going to get that (though I am taking donations.) BUT, I can get the things in life over which I have control.

Now let’s peek at the diary. Forgive the chicken scratch handwriting. It’s just as sucky now (as those of you who have autographed copies of my books know.)

Let’s see how I did in the long run with my hubby!

  1. Loyal: He is more loyal than one of those dogs who get lost while vacationing with their families in Alaska and walks their furry butts across an entire continent for 3 years to get home.
  2. Trustworthy: He travels for work and I never worry that he’s off doing evil deeds. Bliss.
  3. Beautiful: While this is in the eye of the beholder, I think my hubby is H. O. T.!!!
  4. Considerate: More than I ever could have imagined or knew was possible.
  5. Loving: Good grief yes. Insanely so.
  6. Affectionate: He’s usually as close to me as my own skin.
  7. Romantic: If you call fresh squeezed tangerine juice and chocolate chip pancakes in bed romantic. πŸ˜‰
  8. Fun: We giggle constantly. We are King and Queen Doofus.
  9. Easy going: God yes. FINALLY an easy going man!
  10. Educated: Not formally, but he is one smart mo fo–both street and book. I was an English major and I’m pretty sure he’s more well-read than I.
  11. Job: FINALLY! A man with a job. Thank God. That shit was getting old (my past is riddled with men who refused to work–ugh.)
  12. Generous: To a wonderful fault.
  13. Non-argumentative: This is probably one of his best qualities. I hate fighting (though I’ll do it when pushed.) He almost never pushes me. Sheer heaven.
  14. Respectful: As the annoying saying goes, “Hell to the yes.”
  15. Good lover: Mmmmm…mmmmmm…mmmmmm…need I say more??? You can all see the big ass smile on my face in my profile pic. It’s there for a reason. πŸ˜‰
  16. Doesn’t check out other girls: In almost 5 years together I’ve never caught him doing this. God bless sunglasses, right?
  17. Not a sports junkie: Thank goodness no. We watch maybe 2 hours of sports a year.
  18. Neat: Okay, kind of missed the boat on this one. But of all the things on the list, this is the easiest to accommodate.
  19. Not an “aholic” of any kind: Whew…thank God. Been there (repeatedly), done that. Didn’t want it again. No “aholics” this time around. Yay!
  20. Good father: Interesting I had this last on the list. I guess even at the tender age of 22 I somehow knew I’d end up not having kids.

I’m so glad I found that laboratory in which to grow my hubby. Those man-growing pods are amazing!

Now, if you are thinking, “Go screw yourself Jodi!” after reading my List Success, please know that it took 400,000 years to find the man that met this criteria. I’ve dated some lovely men in my day, but Lord have I dated some asshats too. I often wondered what the hell was wrong with me when I’d look back on some of my relationships, but then I realize that they all helped shape who I am today and gave me what I needed to finally open myself up to finding the kind of guy that met my young girl’s dream list.

So, if you aren’t happy with what you have–change it, fix it or run for the hills. Each one of you deserves happiness. Regardless of what you’ve done in your life that may have been sucky, we all deserve joy. Go write your own list. Yes, even if you are 62. Even if you are 15. I hope everyone has List Success (though with fewer preceding frogs) like I have now. I don’t take it for granted for one single moment. It’s so damn nice being happy. XOXOXO

56 comments on “Just grab what you want by the who-ha!

    • Oh my God…an ass face! That is hysterical! πŸ˜‰ I like the way you look at it though. Good practice til the right on comes along. πŸ™‚ It took me 37 years to find the perfect guy. Felt like 200 years.

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      • You know, it’s funny. I “knew” he was the one for me when we were debating where to go on our first date. We hadn’t even met yet (just conversed via email for 2 days, and this was our first phone call) and he suggested sushi. My reaction was, “No way, Jose. I don’t eat raw fish. Bleck! I’ll vomit on you, I promise.” His response was, “I’ll hold your hair.” I gotta tell you, that was the first heartstring he pulled. πŸ™‚

        Then, about a month and a half into dating, his evil ex stopped by on some stupid pretext just to see him. I happened to be going out the front gate when she walked up. I knew she’d really hurt him and he was still dealing with the leftovers of that relationship. I was polite to her (I have no idea how I pulled that off), took the box of crap she had brought by, then went into the house to tell him she’d dropped off stuff for him. I told him I knew it would bother him, I understood if he needed some space and I’d head home and let him have some time. He told me that yeah, it was unnerving, but that she was his past and I was his now–he didn’t want me going anywhere.

        When I first saw her at the door, my heart dropped because all I could think was, “Is this chick going to ruin everything with this wonderful man I finally found?” That moment of knowing what I could lose was incredibly clarifying for me because I realized that I really didn’t want to lose him. The way he handled it, with openness and honesty, just confirmed that I had made the right choice in him. It’s weird how something so awkward can actually be so helpful.

        Add to that that he is just the most precious, adoring, sweet, kind, thoughtful, beautiful man I’ve ever met and there was no way I was ever letting him out of my evil clutches (insert evil cackle here!)

        Whew, that was a tome!! πŸ™‚ But it pretty much sums it up.

        Now, Ms. Anthropic, why are you with an ass face when your Mr. Wonderful is out there looking around for you? Kids? Joint home ownership? Some strings like that keeping you there?

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      • Oh wow – he handled the situation with the ex with such poise! I think you’re very right – the awkward and random moments seem to count more than the big ones. I wouldn’t think that you would know he’s “the one” by the way he proposed or what ring he got you, but rather the way they handle crapping their pants or burning dinner πŸ˜‰ lol

        To answer your question, embarrassingly enough, I have no strings :/ No children, no mortgage. I’m still sort of a free agent, even at 27. I’ve been with my ass face for two years this Sunday – at the beginning he seemed to be everything on MY checklist. Or at least that’s how he advertised himself. The longer we are together, the farther he moves from that point, though. I guess I’m just kind of hoping he bounces back? lol

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      • He really did handle it well. He’s my hero, no doubt about it. πŸ™‚ And I agree with you completely that it’s how they handle themselves when times are hard that lock down those “he’s the one” feelings. I am so blessed to have my hubby. He warms my heart every day.

        Now, as for your ass face…sorry to hear over time he’s moving away from what he advertised. That happens so damn often and it’s soooo frustrating!!! I’m a huge believer in being who you are at all times. That doesn’t mean I don’t temper it with common sense depending on the situation, but coming off as something you aren’t just to land a person is just sucky.

        Your guy sounds like the kind of guy I wrote my books for. I’ve heard so many stories about how men (and women) turn into 3-headed beasts once they get comfy in a relationship that I just had to write a book to yell at them. πŸ™‚ Okay, I don’t actually yell, but you get the idea. It’s so easy to be kind and loving and it always stuns me when people aren’t. Life is SO much better when you are happy. It never makes sense to me when people choose a different route.

        If he doesn’t turn around (he better!) then I know you’ll find someone who treats you like the wonderful princess you are. πŸ™‚ Let me know how it goes. I’m going to need details. πŸ™‚

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  1. I must admit, what I feel most for is your the hand writing! I have the same problem, the instant I write something down it looks like a twelve year old making a life plan.

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    • So glad it’s not just me!!! I can make it slightly better, but the diary was literally 2 inches by 3 inches in size, so it was hard to write in anyway. Even if it was 2 feet by 3 feet, it still would have been pretty much chicken scratch! πŸ˜‰

      Who hand writes anymore anyway? At least I type fast. πŸ™‚

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  2. Yeah, I have horrible handwriting too so don’t feel bad. Your hubby gets a few more cool points for being a fan of sushi. If you guys ever find your way to my neck of the woods, I’ll take you to our favorite sushi place. They have a tempura chicken roll that is Kristen’s favorite as she hates seafood.

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    • Mmmmm…tempura….mmmmmm…Now I want sushi for breakfast! Yeah, he turned me into a sushi lover. πŸ™‚ I’ll totally take you up on your sushi offer!!! You are always such a dear.

      How are things going?? πŸ™‚ XOXO

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      • I’m actually searching for things to write about. To say things are quiet here is an understatement. Anyways, once Kristen found the tempura chicken rolls at our favorite Japanese place, she became a big time sushi lover. Now I have to go find more sushi that doesn’t have seafood.

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      • I get the “I’ve got nothing to write about” feelings sometimes too. πŸ™‚ I think, you know…I’m just not that interesting!

        I think it’s good that it’s quiet for you. It’s nice to have a break from the drama and insanity that can sometimes overwhelm us.

        Good luck finding non-seafood sushi!!! Not an easy task. πŸ™‚

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      • In my case, no news is good news. There is another sushi roll that Kristen gets at our favorite place. It has tempura chicken, covered in tempura, fried and served with tonkatsu sauce. The beautiful thing is they also have a spicy tuna version. Mmmmm, I may have to eat out there next week.

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  3. Love looking back on my old journals; my how my priorities and perspective have changed since my 20’s. Still looking for “The One,” but in the interim I’m working on the most important one: me. Thanks for this!

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    • Good for you!!! Focusing on yourself is such an underrated pastime, but it’s the most valuable. It took me until I was in my mid-30s to really figure out who I was. It was one of the moments where the veil lifted and I thought, “What the hell have I been doing all these years???” πŸ™‚ Good luck, new friend!

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    • Yay! It’s always nice to know that other people out there are actually happy with their mate! πŸ™‚

      My pleasure liking your post and following you. Thanks for dropping by here too. Have a great weekend!

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    • Hi Mary! Happy to stop by Plucky Umbrella! πŸ™‚

      Glad you have your list all set and ready to go. I chuckled myself silly when I found that old diary and read through it. Good grief, the things that were in there.

      One very good thing about finding it: I realize I am not, nor should I ever again attempt poetry. Simply awful!!

      Have a great weekend! πŸ™‚

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    • Yay lytlejoc! It’s so nice to hear that other people are happy. I’m so pleased you have a wonderful hubby too. Nothing on earth better than having an amazing man who loves you. πŸ™‚ Well done for you too!

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    • You are very welcome! I agree that making a list is a good thing for really anyone. If you are young it can help keep you on track. If you are older it can help solidify all those life lessons that you’ve learned and help you stay focused on what you know makes you happy.

      Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting. I really appreciate it. πŸ™‚

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    • So glad you liked it!!! Good luck with your list. Keep this one handy. πŸ™‚ Then you can compare any new men to it and say, “Yep, yep, nope, nope, nope.” At the 3 Nope mark, send ’em packing! πŸ˜‰

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  4. That was wonderful! What a great exercise to see what you wanted and what you have now. It’s wonderful when you take the time to think about all the great things about your spouse. Very nice!

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    • Thank you, betcyw! I hadn’t even really thought about it that way, but you are so right…it was a wonderful way to give thanks for and pay attention to all the great things I love so much about my hubby. πŸ™‚

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  5. Hey Jodi….
    OK so I’m a guy…well intouch with my inner female but a guy nonetheless…….IF I had written a list way (way) back in my twenties I dread to think the qualities I would have been looking for………
    Thank heavens I didn’t………
    I found the best approach for me, was to approach it as I would the purchase of a new utility vehicle…… rigourously ‘road-testing’ anyone who was even remotely interested in me, and fooling a few that probably wouldn’t have been by using a series of ingenious personality disguises………..
    Most importantly, this enabled to me to form a negative checklist of what I didn’t want in a spouse…infidelity, halitosis, manic depressives, (I tried four), somnabulists, lovers of country music, vegans, wearers of hair on the top lip, all the usual stuff……as well as giving me an opportunity to realise what things might be present in a ‘keeper’……
    Then, using a simple two column sheet, (plus and minus, keep it simple), of A4 paper, all I had to do was continue the ‘road-testing’, I found speed was of the essence and that it made sense to devote a time limit of 5 days to a stage one process of ensuring none of the big negatives were in evidence…. then, subject to the prospective spouse meeting that criteria, I found allocating further five day blocks to establish the positive stuff usually worked and tended to self-regulate time-wise….Most prospective spouses (or victims as I jokingly called them) usually ran out of new positives on the third or fourth stage……
    I realised I’d found my soul-mate when, some thirty years later, during her second five day allocation, (No big negatives, Whew!) a two column sheet fell out of my youthful prospects over-night bag……How we laughed!!! And who says romance is dead???!!!!
    She was just extremely lucky that she decided to road-test the absolute top of the range model so soon after first passing her driving test…..

    We’ve just had our twelfth wedding anniversary, and, to be serious JUST for a moment, I’m still finding new plus marks to add to her list……

    πŸ™‚

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    • Oh my good Lord!!! That is awesomely crazy!!! I love your process. And your list of what you cannot live with had me on the floor laughing!!! That was hysterical. “Wearers of hair on the top lip” was a riot! It’s great that you have such a good sense of humor about it and such a successful plan!!! It sounds like you’ve found a wonderful woman after effectively using your process. πŸ™‚ Well done, sir…well done. Congrats on the 12 years and the still-occurring discoveries of how wonderful she is. πŸ™‚

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