Oct 5 2012

I’m going to cry. I never cry, but I’m gonna. Poop.

My sweet babies Chipmunk Chicken and Mouthy

As you guys know, for Christmas my wonderful hubby surprised me with 2 sweet baby chickens. I’d wanted chickens for years and years and I was so excited. We went and picked out our little furry guys; one we named Chipmunk Chicken because he looked like a chipmunk and the other we named Mouthy because she made so much adorable noise. Grant built them a big wooden coop and a fenced-in yard with a sunroof so they wouldn’t overheat in the blistering hot summer. They live in chicken paradise.

Well, Chipmunk Chicken grew up to be a boy–quite the surprise, but he was just so cute and sweet it didn’t even matter. Although I’m sure it probably mattered to our little girl chicken as she was the victim of chicken rape about 10 times a day. Poor little critter.

Look ma! I can stand on one leg! I’m a talented chicken!

The great thing about our chickens was that since I raised them since they were a week old, they knew me and every time I’d come outside they’d get all excited and start making noise and running around like crazy chickens. It was pure awesomeness.

Until Wednesday. Animal control dropped by and threatened us with a $2,500 fine and up to 6 months in the pokey if we didn’t get rid of our grown up Chipmunk Raper chicken. I could rob a 7-11 or molest a goat and get less time in jail. Apparently, one of our other (dick!) neighbors complained. Now, I understand if we lived in a quiet neighborhood that my chicken may have been noisy and annoying, but all you ever hear is a cacophony of a million dogs barking all day and night. Non-stop. Loudly. Irritatingly. My chicken, by comparison, was mute.

Fear the chicken wrath! I’m a big chicken!

So, I asked my nextdoor neighbor (who the day before asked me if we wanted any of their hens as they were about to chop all their heads off–NOOOOO!) if she knew of anywhere that would take my beloved little chicken and not kill him. I also asked if she’d sent her chickens to heaven yet and if not, could I have one for my soon-to-be-lonely little hen? She, being an AWESOME neighbor, asked a relative who owns a farm if they’d take my little critter without beheading him and they agreed. Thank God. We did the chicken swap yesterday and now I have my Mouthy chicken and a new chicken, but no Chipmunk Rapey chicken anymore.

Happiest chicken mommy ever to have lived.

I guess it’s good because at least we got to save one from the chopping block in my neighbor’s backyard, but I miss my little pet so much. And I’m not the only one. My Mouthy chicken, who got much quieter as she got older, won’t stop crying. Now, I know you think I’ve crossed the line into insanity when I say that. I mean, can a chicken be sad? I know I can sometimes personify animals, but this chicken went from hardly making a sound the last 6 months to making this pathetic little warble. She just sits there, not moving, and making the saddest, most plaintive little noises. Even when I go into their yard to play with her, she just sits there crying her little chicken cry. There are few things on earth that sound sadder than that. I know she misses him. They were always together. Honest to goodness, never more than 2 feet apart. They slept cuddled together. They roosted together. They played together. It was so damn precious.

Here’s a video of my little babies the day we brought them home. Beware, I have my my mommy voice goin’ on so I sound a bit like a dim bulb idiot tard, but you’ll be able to tell I’m obviously in love with the little buggers.

Anyway, just wanted to share my sad little chicken story. My heart’s kinda broken…

82 comments on “I’m going to cry. I never cry, but I’m gonna. Poop.”

  1. lol! Chicken butts!! Your so cute Jodi. But what dipstick neighbors, the chicken police have been called. Seems so hypocritical with the dogs carrying on?

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    • Chicken butts are the cutest things ever. I miss my Chipmunk chicken butt so much. Total dipstick neighbors. We have one neighbor that (bless his heart) rescues dogs from the pound. But he has like 10 of them in the backyard that never stop yapping. Goodness knows they are much more prolific noisemakers than my little chicken. Dangit…

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      • Geesh, your in a tough spot. I took a realtor class years ago and recall the section on property owner rights and the law. It’s a fine line if you ask me, one someone dared cross in your neighborhood. Grrr Oh, the chicken house, beautiful work. 🙂

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      • The hubby did do an amazing job on the chicken house. In the pic you can’t see the fenced in area he made for them. It’s amazing. They have so much room to run around, a ton of shade and no kitties getting in to eat them. I love happy chickens.

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  2. I can’t believe it, especially with all the dogs barking. Where I live we have wild chickens roaming all over the place.
    No, you’re not crazy to say that a chicken can be sad. Of course it can!

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    • I agree. Little critters of all types have feelings. Just cause chickens have little brains doesn’t mean they don’t have sweet spots for other chickens. 🙂 Your parakeet sounds like my kind of birdie. 🙂 Kitties rule too!

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  5. My favorite part of our chickens was raising them from babies and whenever they hear my voice the come running and follow me all over our property like our dogs do… it is so darn cute 😉

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  6. I’m so sorry for your loss. I was raised with about 100 chickens and you bet your little hen is missing her rooster! Chickens are wonderful companions that are much more than beaks and wings. When I was little, a rooster used to follow me around the farm so I named him Tuffy. I used to play piano and when I would be practicing, he would stand outside near the window and sort of – dance! When Tuffy died, I had to stay home for two days because I was so upset, even though I lived on a ranch/farm and became acquainted with the cycle of life at a very young age. Your Rooster and your hen will both adjust to their new environment – he’s probably having the time of his life – but still, he misses you and the hen.

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    • What a wonderful story. Little dancing Tuffy just warms my heart. How precious. The really are so much more than beaks and feathers. I’d have been like you and been so sad when he died. I love furries and featheries so much. And yes, I’d well imagine he’s having the time of his life. I just hope that my little Mouthy chicken learns to love her new friend. I’d feel so much better…

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  7. Of course animals have feelings. We once had a beagle and a rabbit (don’t ask me what I was thinking). That dog wanted to eat that rabbit from day one. When we finally had to find another home for the rabbit that darn dog sat right where the rabbit cage was and whined for weeks. He especially made sure whenever one of us was in earshot to make sure he got our attention. I’m so sorry for you. I currently live in a really bizarre area where there are farms all around yet little pockets of neighborhoods where farm animals aren’t allowed. Right now in our apartment building we have 3 ferrets, 8 cats and 1 skunk! I especially enjoy seeing the skunk and we are careful to not mention her to any one who would tell management.

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    • I want your critters!! I love ferrets!! I love kitties! I love skunkies!!! Skunks are one of the prettiest animals on earth. I’m so jealous!! And your little bunny story is precious. Poor puppy–I’d be sad if I had a bunny and he had to go away too. Bunnies are awesome. 🙂

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      • I love all animals, so moving here where so many people also love animals is amazing. The skunk is brought outside daily for fresh air and to play in the field so we all get a chance to visit with her. The ferrets are funny, one is an escape artist who can get out of anything. When she gets out, the owners use their one cat to point out where she’s hiding. 🙂

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  8. Look at those chicken asses. LOL Mommy’s not gonna eat chicken. Love it 😀

    I remember when I was younger, we used to have chickens. Was nice having fresh eggs all the time. I had helped my dad turn the shed into a chicken coop, With neither of us being that good at DIY, it didn’t come out too well with holes everywhere.

    Then one day they had the biggest blow job of their lives .We had a hurricane. Thankfully because of the crap job we did on the shed, the wind just blew through the holes. I do believe that the wind was so strong it blew the eggs back up their chicken butts as they didn’t lay again for days.

    Hope mouthy cheers up soon

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    • Chicken butts are AWESOME!! 🙂 Okay, I’m going to assume that “blow job” means something different across the pond that it does here? I had to read that line 3 time before I figured you were discussing a super-windy day! 😉 I’m so glad your less-than-skillful coop building actually helped your little bock-bocks!

      As for Mouthy, she’s still crying. It’s awful. I just hope she bonds with the new chicken. 🙂

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  9. Oh, Jodi – My heart hurts for you and your sad little chicken. This is not a good situation. I fully understand the business of dogs barking in the neighborhood. Our guys are house guys so they just want to know what all the fuss is about but rarely bark on their own. I finally put up the flood lights that are solar powered — when their huge dogs come within a foot of our privacy fence in the back – the neighbors entire backyard lights up like a helicopter light is flashing on it. It only took about 2 weeks for the neighbors to figure out this was a quite zone. After all – who puts a Great Dane in a city size back yard and never walks them. Take care of your little chicken.

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    • Thank so much, Sheri. I LOVE your lighting idea! Anything to shut the damn things up. I love doggies, but people shouldn’t get them to only leave them in the backyard with no love. I’d bark too if I was sad and lonely outside.

      I’m gonna go hug a chicken right now. 🙂

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  10. So sorry that you had to give away one of your pets. The neighbor that called the riot squad is not playing nice at all. Does your chicken lay eggs? If so, maybe you could let a few of them ‘rot’ and them somehow inadvertently toss them up against your neighbor’s house or car! Accidents do happen, right? LOL

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    • Thank you, Sylvia. That neighbor is a poophead. Oh yeah, my chicken lays eggs. She’s a prolific layer! We could never eat all the eggs she lays. They would double as weaponry very well–good idea! 😉 In my “I’m brave in my daydreams” I’ll egg his house. In reality, I’m a wuss. 😉

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  11. Oh, I am so sad for your chickens. Mean neighbour. We had to give away two roosters we accidentally grew from chicks, but we’re allowed chickens in our area, thank heavens. I love mine so much. I would have shed many tears to send one away. PS Your pics are gorgeous.

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    • TOTALLY MEAN NEIGHBOR! Jerkface! Ours was an accidental rooster too. Who can tell when they are so little? It was incredibly sad to have to get rid of him. He as my little baby…

      Thanks for the picture sweetness. They are great subjects–hard to take a bad pic. 🙂

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  12. “Look at those little asses, oh Jesus…” Lol, Jodi, you and your mommy voice crack me up. They really are adorable! I’m sorry you had to give one away, stupid animal control! I don’t get why they were okay with one but not the other?! And animals DO feel so I’m sure Mouthy is sad, poor little guy. 😦

    PS, that neighbor of yours SUCKS ass.

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    • So glad the “mommy voice” didn’t horrify you!!! I just cannot speak like a normal person when I’m talking to chickens, kitties or the hamster. It just doesn’t work. 🙂 And yes, that mean old asshat neighbor TOTALLY sucks ass! I agree. 🙂 I’ll give mouthy a hug for you. She’ll take all the hugs she can get right now. 🙂

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  15. Can’t believe your neighbor would do that!! And now you’re without your cute little chicken. People get me so mad at times. But glad you saved another little one from the chopping block if there is any silver lining.

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  16. Chicken Momma Jodi, every once in a while you throw me completely off with an unexpected post. This is one of those – I’m certain I won’t see anything more fabulous than this all weekend, and I have two posts of my own at the ready…

    I won’t put up with people telling me how wrong it is to anthropormorphize, unless they’ve spent their last 45 years doing the research and found no indications of sentience or emotion or intellect. You probably know I don’t share your flair for, er, vulgarity, so you’ll know I mean it when I say it really fucking pisses me off when I run into those who see animals as nothing more than brainless blobs or as dinner. Sorry about that.

    And I’m sorry about Chipmunk – and Mouthy. Well done, though, keeping them all safe and sound.

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    • Awwww…you are such a sweetie. I love being a chicken mama. I love those little critters so much. And thank you for the word anthropomorphize! I could NOT come up with it and it was driving me crazy. Tip of the tongue hell! 😉

      And I LOVE your quick dip into vulgarity. That actually made me chuckle and feel your passion for what you were saying. I’ll never understand why some people think animals are just slabs of meat. If you can make it purr or happily bark, then how is that not showing emotion? People like that are heartless jerks.

      Thanks for the kindness. I’m going to go give Mouthy some love in just a few minutes. And New Chicken too.

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  19. Bloody interfering neighbours. A rooster crowing is a good wholesome noise, if somewhat annoying pre-dawn, but you live with it. On the upside, you now may get double the amount of eggs 🙂

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  20. Some neighbours just like to complain and make trouble and can’t mind their own bloody business………….good that you found him a new home and got a new buddy for Mouthy but it is sad that you had to get rid of him and yes I think Mouthy could be sad

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    • Yep, some people don’t feel like their day is complete unless they’ve made someone else (and two chickens!) unhappy. Mouthy isn’t crying quite so constantly, thank God. Maybe she and New Chicken are starting to bond. This chicken mommy can only hope. 🙂

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  21. Aww! I feel so bad for your girl chicken 😦 I watched the video and thought “hmm, she kinda sounds like me!” until you did the chicken butts thing and then I thought “No, she sounds like my sister!” is she taking to the new one now or still crying for her boyfriend? Why wouldn’t they let you keep the boy, because he doesn’t lay eggs? That’s sexual discrimination!!

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    • Aren’t they adorable in that video?? I want to EAT THEM!!! I’m quite sure I’d like your sister!! 🙂

      As for Mouthy and the New Chicken, they aren’t fighting or anything, so that’s a good start. I just hope they get to the point where they cuddle. Cuddling chickens are ADORABLE! 🙂

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  22. I understand your attachment to your little feathered friends. At our farm, everyone is family. In the spring, Mom and Dad even help out the wild bird population. Whenever they find a fledgling on the ground (in harms way because we have barn cats), they rum behind it with their arms flapping until it learns to fly. Yes, they look absolutely ridiculus. And they could care less. All those little birds that were not snacks for the cats is worth it!

    Dry your eyes, Jodi, and start loving the new chicken- she needs you too, as much as Mouthy does. She’s in a strange new place, too. So get on out there and do some chicken bonding!

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    • I LOVE your parents!! That is the cutest story ever. Sweet little birdies.

      I promise to love New Chicken. At least her old buddies are across the fence (until the chopping block! NOOOOOO!, so she can still hear them. I’m off to give them some love in a few minutes.

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  23. OMG, you are so NOT an “dim bulb idiot tard!” I’m heart-broken and I have never even met your chickens. I’m so sorry. That must have been the hardest thing to do ever. Your neighbour needs to get a life and a HEART!
    By the way, those chicken butts are adorable. And so is your “mommy” voice.

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    • You are just the sweetest! It was just awful. Thankfully, I was on a web conference when the actual chicken-swap happened, so I didn’t have to look at his sweet little chicken face as he was taken out of the backyard. That would have simply been too much.

      And HELL YEAH chicken butts are adorable!! 🙂 I love me some furry tushes. My one long-haired kitty is named Fuzzy Butt because she’s so fuzzy by her butt. She gets fuzzier and fuzzier the further down her body you look. It’s just too cute for words.

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  25. 😦 I’m so sad. I’ve had chicken pets and they are very sweet and loving, they have their own personality, so I understand what you mean.

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    • You are so dang sweet. 🙂 I love CHICKEN BUTTS!! As for new chicken’s name, her name is New Chicken! 😉 I know, I’m such a doofus. As soon as I get a better feel for her personality she’ll likely get a new name. Of course, by then she’ll only answer to New Chicken. 😉

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      • You really grabbed my heart strings when you started singing about the chicken butts. I have the same singing-about-random-things habit and I’ve proudly passed it onto my children.

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  29. I hate overbearing neighbors. Fortunately, that’s something I don’t have to deal with here. Everyone keeps to themselves and don’t cause trouble for each other. It’s a good thing too because I’m the world’s worst landscaper and my yard looks like something out of a Mad Max movie.

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