Sorry, pervs. Not naughty like that! At least not this time. 🙂
I decided to not give a rat’s ass about what I jammed in my mouth today. I usually try to be fairly good, but today I said screw it.
Here’s my briefest post ever and the chronological rundown of my happy (ready to vomit) tummy contents:
- Spaghetti (my yummy recipe)
- 1 dark chocolate truffle
- 1 Skinny Cow snacky thing
- 1 Starbucks venti frappuccino light with 2 sweet & lows and sugar-free caramel
- Spaghetti again, because it’s damn good!
- 8 nacho cheese doritos
- 7 salt and vinegar potato chips
- 9 tortilla chips with nacho cheese
- 1 small Toblerone candy bar
- 1 square of peppermint bark and dark chocolate
- 12 green gummybears (2 of them were stuck together doing grown-up things–dirty little bears!)
I’m thinking that if I live through the night it will be a miracle.
Oh, and I just found part of a Dorito in my bra and a smear of spaghetti sauce on my shoulder. WTF? My shoulder? And I was in public for HOURS after eating spaghetti. Good grief.
In honor of my very full belly, let me introduce you to Sparky. He’s in the new cookbook, but I’m not tellin’ why he makes an appearance. I’m mean like that! 😉
Sparky the Dragon
Created by the wonderful Kimberley at:
http://theembiggensproject.wordpress.com/
That spaghetti on your shoulder is your angel and devil 😉
LikeLike
Devil: Yeah, Jodi, eat more and more. You can weigh 350 pounds. It’s okay. Indulge and be happy.
Angel: Yeah, Jodi, eat more and more. God loves you even if you can’t fit into a car.
Either way I am fucked! 😉
LikeLike
Haha, Reminds me of something I said on someone’s blog a couple of days ago. They were saying about the fact that they had lost 30 kilos. So I said that my ex-wife lost 57 kilos, but don’t worry, she found it again. 😉 (And yes, she did lose 57 kilos, and she’s put about 40 of them back on since she was remarried)
LikeLike
Marriage is the death knell of slim hips!!!! Since meeting Grant I’ve put on a little over 10 pounds. It’s IMPOSSIBLE not to with all the heavy whipping cream, butter and oil he uses on EVERYTHING!!! Luckily, he likes a little hip on a woman. Thank God.
LikeLike
I think saying he uses whipping cream on just about everything is more information than we needed 😉
Nothing wrong with a bit of meat on a woman. I was talking about that to my sister the other day when I saw a really skinny woman and said to her that if you stick it in her, you’d break her spine lol
LikeLike
Yeah, I’m full of Too Much Information! 😉
“Break her spine.” HA!!!! That is awesome!!! LOVE IT!!
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
cowtail? i love those things! where is your spaghetti recipe…would love to try :o)
LikeLike
I LOVE COW TAILS!!! Love ’em! They are sooooooo good. I unroll the caramel off of the creamy inside and then eat them all weird. Now I need some cow tails. 😉
LikeLike
Oh, and I’m going to post my spaghetti recipe, just for you, when the cookbook releases. 🙂 It’ll be a sneak peek into the book. That should be right around the end of October. You’ll love it. It is soooooo yummy! I’ve won many a man’s heart over the years with my spaghetti sauce. It’s the kind that sticks to your ribs. Lip-smackin’ good! 🙂
LikeLike
Yumz to come! Thanks :0)
LikeLike
You bet’cha!! 🙂 I’m literally chewing on a bite of it right now. It is sooooooooooooooooooooo yummilicious!!
LikeLike
Hahaha. Dorito’s in your bra and tomato sauce under your shoulder.
Lovely post! Yesterday it was my screw it day..and friday and thursday..
But today I’m totally into the healthy food. So enjoy yourself and eat a little for me too :).
Have a beautiful sunday!
X
http://dipitblack.com
LikeLike
Why, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed. I figure every once and a while we all deserve a screw it day. I haven’t eaten that poorly in 10 years. It was soooooo good. 🙂 I’ll eat a few chips for you on my next Trying To Kill Myself With Food Day. 😉
LikeLike
Healthy eating is not in your life then 🙂 i thought i was going to read a naughty post by the title 😆
LikeLike
I usually eat very well. But I was just in the mood for a bunch of crap. It was awesome!!!
LikeLike
Fruit, vegetables – out of the picture. Ahh it’s only a one day pig out. No biggy.
LikeLike
Exactly. I’m pretty sure I haven’t eaten that bad in about a decade, so every once and a while it can’t hurt too much. 🙂
LikeLike
Exactly.
LikeLike
Once in a while won’t get ya. My folks say ‘anything in moderation’… No worries!
LikeLike
I like you parents! And they are very right. Except maybe when it comes to heroin. That’s probably bad in any amount. 😉
LikeLike
Oh yes. I really like the photo for your cook book, hope to hear you two do really well Jodi. My momma passed this April first, it’s been tough but her “Dora-isms” will never leave me. A woman whom remembered standing in bread lines in the Depression can not be dismissed.
LikeLike
Oh no…I’m so very sorry. It’s so hard to lose your momma. I imagine she was a wonderful woman. People who went through such a dark time really understand what is important in life. I bet she was amazing.
And thanks so much about the picture, John. We took 300 pictures and that one just jumped out at me as the right one. It’s just how our kitchen works–he does all the cooking as I hang back and admire his butt. 🙂 A day in the life in the Ambrose house! 😉
LikeLike
LOL!! Admire his butt. God bless you two!! Your so cool Jodi…
LikeLike
We feel truly blessed every day, my friend. 🙂 Hugs!!!
LikeLike
Spaghetti yes. The other stuff I could do without.
LikeLike
The spaghetti was absolutely AMAZING!!! I’m about to go fix some more now. Slurp.
I envy people like you who don’t crave crappy food. I LOVE eating horrible stuff. I rarely do it, but I CRAVE it like my lungs do oxygen. UNFAIR!!! 😉
LikeLike
I hate dieting. It leaves me feeling guilty. I, like you, honor my cravings and enjoy life. I cringe to think of my wasted years obsessing over food. Now I just enjoy it, and have stayed the same size for five years. I might be what some consider a chunk-a-lunk, but I am not a nervous wreck and I am no longer obese.
LikeLike
Good for you!!! I don’t really “diet” very often myself. Like you, I like how I am. I don’t need to be a size 8 to be happy. Life is meant to be enjoyed and savored, just like good food. I feel kinda bad for people to kill themselves to be a size 0. It’s just not worth it. I figure when I die will people say, “Wow. I’d have liked her more if only she was 15 pounds thinner.” I somehow doubt it. 🙂
LikeLike
haha. You are too funny (I type with my sticky “crispy, crunchy, sweet, and salty Kettlecorn Popcorn fingers and take a not-so-ginger sip of my Timothy’s White Hot Chocolate).
And it’s so exciting to see my dragon baby revealed!!
LikeLike
Oooohhhh….Kettlecorn fingers! Yummy!!! 🙂 And white hot chocolate? Delish! I want what you are having!! 🙂 Your little dragon baby RULES!!!! I love him so much! 🙂
LikeLike
I admire your capacity!
LikeLike
🙂 Funnily enough, it wasn’t much food. I was awake for 22 hours yesterday, so spread over almost an entire day, I was never actually full. Just ODed on BAD food! 😉
LikeLike
You made me laugh… you count the individual chips, gummy bears and chocolate squares… really naughty consumers count the packets 🙂
LikeLike
I shall stop feeling bad because you are right! If you can count by the chip, you can’t be eating too much bad crap. 🙂
LikeLike
I have a magazine article to write, and a blog, and instead I baked chocolate chip cookies, ate five, and washed it down with a diet coke. Now, because of you, I’m going to find that Skinny Cow truffle ice cream bar. Thanks a lot!
LikeLike
AWESOME!!!! I’m so glad I’m not the only naughty one out there! I LOVE the skinny cow chocolate ice cream sandwiches. YUMMY! I haven’t tried the truffle bars. Good?
LikeLike
I’m just trying to figure out how spaghetti got on your shoulder? Lol. If it makes you feel any better, I eat like that ALL the time. I’m such a pig when it comes to chocolate and anything considered junk food. YUMMM. Sparky’s so cute!
LikeLike
Honest to God. My shoulder? What the hell? The only think I can think is that I swiped my hair through it and that’s how it got there. Who knows. I’m a mess! 😉 And I’m soooooo glad you eat like that too. It makes me feel much better. I love junk food. I try to avoid it, but sometimes it just gets the better of me. Glad you like Sparky! He’s just adorable, isn’t he. Kimberley did such a great job. 🙂
LikeLike
It is good for the soul and the body to have days when you don’t give a damn about what you eat and drink it makes caring so much easier tomorrow
LikeLike
PREACH ON! I totally agree! I loved every pig-out minute of it. 🙂
LikeLike
If you keep track of what you eat every day either you’ll have one entertaining log, or you’ll stop eating as much because it’s so much work to write it all down!
LikeLike
No kidding, right? Usually, I’m such a good girl. But I was just IN THE MOOD FOR JUNK yesterday, so I sated my urges. It was heavenly! 🙂
LikeLike
Tee hee! I totally have those I WANT TREATS days. I literally have to hide the candy or get rid of it because the temptation is far too strong. Dark Chocolate Reese’s PB cups are one of my downfalls. Mostly it’s cookie dough. Any kind really, but some favorites are ginger, choco chip, and oatmeal. Mmmm, such a tasty blog post. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
Cookie dough….cookie dough… I could eat that every day, all day, forever and ever!!!! 🙂 I’m one of those people that just cannot have snacky stuff in the house. If it’s here, I’ll eat it! So like you, sometimes I just have to get rid of it. It’s torture otherwise! 🙂
LikeLike
Jodi, are you aware that I’m skinny, always have been, and can eat whatever I want and LOSE a pound?? If not, you are now! Haha!!
LikeLike
Yep. I’m pretty sure I can’t like you anymore!!! 😉 My best friend is like that. Shes 41, can eat anything and everything, and doesn’t have an ounce of fat or cellulite on her body. It makes me want to kill her sometimes. 😉 I’m sooooo jealous!!!!
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
I made cyngetti the other night and that is all I have been eating. Oh and a package of the new coconut oreo’ cookies. My so Bad!
LikeLike
Okay, I have to know what cyngetti is. Anything pasta-like is my best friend. I made my poor people spaghetti/tomato/cheese/milk concoction on Monday and have been eating it just about every meal. There is something about pasta that never grows old! 🙂 Mmmm…Oreos…mmmmm…
LikeLike
My own homemade spaghetti sauce so I call it cyngetti since my name is Cynthia. Never used milk…sometimes butter. It was better then Ragu any day. I love coconuts so the Oreo’s are gone.
LikeLike
Homemade spaghetti sauce, sorry–cyngetti sauce, is the best! We’ve been eating nothing but spaghetti sauce (traditional) and my poor people spaghetti for almost a week. Carb overload! 😉 But well worth it.
LikeLike
Good lord. I can only imagine the dreams you were having after eating that.
LikeLike
They were CRAZY!!!! Of course, they always are. I read scary shit before going to bed and my dumb ass brain always serves it right back up to me as I sleep. I should read books about kittens and such. 🙂
LikeLike
7 chips….how does one eat 7 chips. When I get into those puppies I have the family sized bag craddled in my lap and I go to town…no share-zies.
LikeLike
It ain’t easy!!! 🙂 I wanted to eat ALL of it, nonstop, until I puked. It was soooooo yummy!
LikeLike
Yup….I do that once in a while. I am usually sorry afterwards. It just doesn’t taste/feel as good as I thought it would. Except the chocolate, of course!
LikeLike
Sometimes you just have to! It’s liberating. And yeah, I never feel particularly well after stuffing my face like that, but it’s sooooo good going in! 😉 As for chocolate, I could sleep, bathe and live in/on/around it. 🙂 Mmmmm…chocolate!
LikeLike
After losing 30 pounds, I named my weird free-for-all eating day Faturday. I only get it when the scale stays the same as the previous week or bumps down even slightly. Then, it’s bring on the marathon of whatever I felt deprived of during the week. At the end of it I can’t wait to crawl back up on the Horse of Healthy Eating and gallop off in sanctimonious glory! I’m guessing the little dragon might indicate spicy??
LikeLike
FATURDAY!!! I LOVE IT!!! that is awesome! And congrats on the 30 pounds. That is an amazing accomplishment. I’d love to lose about 10, but it has NOT been easy trying to eat low-calorie while finishing the cookbook. All that good food all over the place? How’s a girl NOT supposed to eat it all???
As for the little dragon–good guess, but he serves a slightly different purpose. I think you’ll chuckle when you see how he can help you out. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh my gosh. You are hilarious! Ahhhhh, loved this post. Discovered you after you started following my blog (www.lindseywanek.com). Thanks for following and brightening my day!
LikeLike
Awwww…thanks!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. My posts are whacko sometimes, no doubt. 🙂 It was absolutely my pleasure following your blog. Thanks for visiting mine too!
LikeLike