How the Hubby and I Cope with Missing Each Other When He’s out of Town.

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Meet Tick Teddy. Tick Teddy is one bad ass mo fo who takes no guff offa anyone. At the same time, he is a sweet little creature and even though he looks like a bloated, blood-filled tick, we love him all the same.

Tick Teddy is very blessed and gets to fly around the world with Daddy on his travels. Tick Teddy has been everywhere. This week he’s in Vancouver, BC and lovin’ life. Actually, I think he may be partying a bit much, but he can take it. Like I said, he’s bad ass.

So, today I get a picture of Tick doing his thing with a little commentary to go along with it. This is how the conversation ensued.

Tick Teddy gettin' his spin on!

Tick Teddy gettin’ his spin on!

Email from Tick Teddy to Mommy:

Oh …daddy told me that you are a piece of ass…what does that mean?

Email from Mommy to Tick Teddy:

Tick Teddy…I think it’s time we had “the talk.”

Daddy is what is known as a perverted stinker. Perverted stinkers like to grab hold of sweet, angelic little girls (like Mommy) and defile them with their joysticks. In order for perverted stinkers like Daddy to want to take advantage of that doe-like innocence, the girl must first be, as Daddy said, “a piece of ass.” Otherwise, Daddy’s joystick isn’t so full of joy.

Now, go kick Daddy for making me corrupt you like this at your sweet and tender age. Oh, and while he’s curled up in the floor crying from your swift kick, tell him Mommy loves him. It’s good to measure out both pleasure and pain at the same time–but that discussion is for another day.

Mommy loves you, Tick Teddy!

Yep, that’s how we do it in the Ambrose house. 🙂

12 comments on “How the Hubby and I Cope with Missing Each Other When He’s out of Town.

  1. I overheard a very similar conversation between a mom and her little boy in the grocery store the other day. She explained everything to him, then she yelled at me for telling him his mom is a nice piece of ass.

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  2. Maybe if Daddy the Perveted Stinker had just told Mommy that he wanted a piece of her ass leaving the poor little Tick Teddy out of it, Teddy would not have needed to administer his little swift kicks to poor Daddy. But then it wouldn’t have been half as funny. Well done, I’m still chuckling.

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    • Daddy, the Perverted Stinker, can be dim sometimes!! 😉 Plus, I think he likes confounding poor little Tick Teddy. He is just an innocent little teddy, after all. 😉 Glad you enjoyed the insanity that is my marriage. 🙂 We may be doofuses, but we are happy doofuses. 🙂 (Or would that be doofi?) 😉

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  3. Way too funny, Jodi! My mom was having a “conversation” with her daughter (who is thirty years old), when she realized her 9 year-old grandson was in the back seat, soaking it all up. Mom tells him, ” Ezra, you did not hear any of that.” Ezra replies, “I heard every word, Grandma, but I won’t REPEAT any of that.” You gotta love it! Kids grow up really fast at our place.

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    • That is freaking awesome!!!! WAY smart kid!!! This is why I have cats, chickens and a hamster. With the way I talk…good Lord, the kids would repeat it and get thrown out of school and/or banned from planet earth! 😉

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