Shortest Post Ever: Things I’ve Learned Today

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  1. I am NOT OLD, dammit, but I barely knew ONE FRIGGIN’ song being sung on American Idol the last two nights. What the hell is going on here? Is there a conspiracy to make me feel out of touch with what the kids are up to these days? Oh God. I said, “the kids.” Okay. I’m old.
  2. American Idol is better when you have 2 things: 1) Frozen chocolate icing on a spoon 2) A fast-forward button.
  3. I am lazier than I thought as I have remote controls on half the lights in my house so I don’t have to move to turn one on or off.
  4. Then again, I’m not particularly lazy as I do bust my butt doing a million things a day. Okay, I’m lazy about lights. I can live with that. Oh, and dishes too. And washing the sheets. And vacuuming. Okay, kinda lazy.
  5. I truly love my doppelganger, crazy as a shit-house rat hamster. She is truly entertaining and nutso cuckoo.
  6. I dislike stepping in cat puke. Did it twice today in bare feet. Ick. I wiped it off with a paper towel and then used anti-bacterial wash from Bath & Body Works. Think that was good enough?

Oh, and I found one of those age progression sites where they’ll take a pic of you and turn you into an old lady. Here’s what my old ass probably looks like to those teeny boppers singing all those songs that I’ve never heard of before.

Jodi as an old broad

Okay, that’s it for What Jodi Learned (or Pondered) Today. πŸ™‚

I hope you are all having a lovely night.

Picture copyright Denis Cox, illustrationsof.com

36 comments on “Shortest Post Ever: Things I’ve Learned Today

  1. I stopped altogether watching American Idol. It was a CHOICE to do so after watching then champion, Fantasia win the crown. After which they went to her for her first comment and she blurted out, “I broke my shoe!”. Seriously? You just win the biggest lifetime opportunity for a career in music and performance and that’s what you have to say about it? That your wardrobe had a SNAFU? Ugh!! I think I’ll pass!!! Since then, I’ve most willingly have refused a single second of watching it if at all humanly possible. But hell, move over one couch cushion and pass me another spoon for that icing, cuz we’re ALL going to need it now!!!!!

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    • I know. I don’t know why the hell I watch it. I hate most of it and fast-forward through 3/4 of it. I’m a tard.

      I must say though, sir, you have immaculate timing. I am, at this very moment (okay, as of a few moments ago) signing your books. πŸ™‚ They’ll be in the mail either tomorrow or Friday. πŸ™‚

      As for the icing, there aren’t many people I’d share my coveted icing with, but for you…well, you can have 2 heaping spoonfuls! πŸ™‚

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  2. You are not getting older, you are getting better! American who? Got better things to do.
    I got you beat on the cat puke. My cat sometimes gets poop stuck on his butt. One morning he woke me up being all lovey dovey, I smelled cat sh*t, and it wouldn’t go away. About twenty mins. later I looked in the mirror to see a nice turd stuck in it! And yes – shampoo is a good thing!!!

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    • Bless your sweet heart! I like the idea of not older, but better. I just have to stay away from American Idol! BAD TV!!!

      As for your cat poopy story, I just threw up. All over myself. Now I’m going to get the cat to come walk through MY puke! HOLY SHIT that is horrible!!! (No pun intended.) Naughty kitty!!

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    • I love you! Totally screw American Idol and their songs that no one has EVER heard before.

      I’d pick puke over poop any day!!! Though they are both as nasty as can be. See, this is why when I die I hope that God lets me have my version of heaven in which I will roll around in a big pile of NON-POOPING otters! Man, I sure hope that’s how it’ll be… πŸ™‚

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  3. Speaking of old, which you are NOT, you know that Song Pop game that I’m obsessed with? I don’t even KNOW half of the newer songs ( last decade or so), I’ve just mesmorized what they are after hearing a 4 second clip 100 times, lol! I’m old, with an outstanding memory for music, lol!

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