In times of trouble I fantasize…

…about otters.

Okay, and other things too.

Every once and a while I have to do a post which doesn’t get down to brass tacks. It is not easy for me to do that. It about kills me. But I’m going to give it a go here. I’m going to put my solution to an anonymous problem here instead of ranting about the problem itself.

When I want to kill myself or others with a hammer, cheese grater, potato peeler or other hideous implement of death (for whatever reason) these are the things I think about in an attempt to keep sane:

  1. Otters. Yep, always at the top of my list.
  2. The fact that I have all 10 fingers and type pretty darn fast (though my keyboard has 2 keys which you really have to press hard on: S and Shift. Drives me CRAZY as it gives me unwarranted typos sometimes and you know how I am about my own typos!!

    Mom shoulda known if I was dressing like this at 11, then I was going to be NOTHING BUT TROUBLE once I hit puberty!!

    Mom shoulda known if I was dressing like this at 11, then I was going to be NOTHING BUT TROUBLE once I hit puberty!!

  3. I still have a wonderful mommy who loves me and has never judged me once in life (even when I used to dress like a total hooker in high school–but I was a good girl, I promise).
  4. I have a precious hubby who cherishes me and is kind every single day to me (no disclaimers on this one!).
  5. I have a wonderful sister who will listen to me bitch and whine and cuss like a truck stop whore without complaint (God bless her!)
  6. I have amazing blog buddies that always make me smile (especially when you cuss a lot for no reason–giggle giggle).
  7. I have loyal and loving friends who put up with my occasionally hibernating ass without complaint.
  8. I have billions of teddy bears that I have a tremendous amount of fun playing with (yeah, I bonkers…I know).
  9. I can always pop a sleeping pill and venture off into LaLa Land (I do NOT recommend this and am really about 98% joking…okay, 97%).
  10. I can go wander around Walgreens. I don’t know why I love doing this. It’s not like the stock changes. I just love to wander the aisles of Walgreens. Yep, I’m a doofus.
  11. Overall, I’ve had a dang good life. There has been tons of heartache and pain, but God has blessed me with the ability to bounce back, and for that I’m eternally grateful.
  12. I could have been born with two noses.
  13. And the all-time best thing my mom ever taught me: This too shall pass.

There are about 100 more items I could put on this list, but my laptop is literally sitting on my lap and is 4000 degrees and catching my muff on fire. Since I don’t want firebush, I’m going to have to stop my list at lucky 13.

HUGS!!!

35 comments on “In times of trouble I fantasize…

  1. Thinking of rodents works, right? They’re damn cute–no matter what anyone else says. I love that you play with your bears. I am guilty of making my stuffed friends talk from time-to-time. Funny, if you need to insult someone, it sounds better coming from a stuffed walrus. Although they often beat the crap out the poor little fella afterwards.
    As always, you are such a funny bunny!!

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    • Hell yeah! I love me some rodents!! πŸ™‚ Hamsters, squirrels, mice…the list goes on and on. Teddies RULE!!! We make them do all kinds of wonderful (horrible and wrong) things. It’s awesome. I’m so glad you do it too! Though I’m not surprised as you RULE! πŸ™‚ Big hug, sweetie!

      Like

    • THE FIREBUSH!!! (Said in a scary, midnight theater kind of way.) RUN!! RUN FROM THE FIREBUSH!!! πŸ™‚

      As for otters–hell yeah they are awesome! I love me some otters. Next time you are near a zoo, go watch them play. You’ll fall in love. πŸ™‚ XO

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