Apr 17 2013

To all the Smokes I’ve loved before…

…you can go suck it because I beat you!!!!

I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

I’ve been more stressed the last few weeks (as you guys know) then I’ve been in a looooooong time. And even though hari kari was calling my name and I kept eyeballing the shotgun and taser, I managed to NOT SMOKE even a single drag!!!

It’s been 4 months, 28 days and 9 hours since I had a puff on a cigarette (not that I’m counting). Yay!! And it was TEMPTING!! That night my sister was my superhero and I sat in my car crying and screaming on the phone to her, there was a pack of unopened smokes just sitting in my glovebox. I keep them there to prove to myself that I don’t need them. And it worked.

Quitting cold turkey after smoking since I was 14 (with a few breaks here and there) wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so excited that I managed to say no to the Yummy Sticks. Yes, I call them Yummy Sticks. Honest to God, smoking is one of my very favorite things on earth. I almost never drink (maybe 2-3 glasses of wine a year), I don’t do drugs (unless you count Valium to go to the dentist) and so smoking was my deliciously wicked vice. Now I have no vices! I can’t even be a slut cause I’m a married old broad. KIDDING! I never was much for the slutty behavior (but I love me some sluts, so if you are slutty I love your slutty ass).

For those of you who have been or who are smokers, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those of you who have never been smokers, you are truly blessed to not know the misery of not being able to light up. I’ve heard quitting smoking compared to giving up the needle and it doesn’t surprise me one bit!

See, here’s my best friend and me enjoying a nice, yummy smoke after a delicious dinner a couple of years ago. We look so joyful and happy to be alive! Ahh…the good ole days…

So that everyone out there understands why I used to like smoking so much (and I will again if I’m ever terminally ill, dammit!!!!) I’m going to put a little video clip here from the TV show Frasier. This scene PERFECTLY describes what is so tantalizing about a cigarette.

The whole clip is funny, but if you skip ahead to about 1:06 (the clip’s about 3 minutes long) you’ll get to the heart of the true smoker’s dream.

Enjoy! And NEVER start smoking if you aren’t a smoker now. Why put yourself through the hell of quitting? It totally sucks balls. 🙂

XOXOXO

68 comments on “To all the Smokes I’ve loved before…”

  1. Congratulations to you! And thanks for the Frasier clip, I used to love that show (I don’t why but, every time I say that, I feel this urge to remind everybody that I’m straight) I’m adding quitting to my list…for my thrid try…soon….at some point!

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    • Thank you!!! I kept wanting to quit, but I just love smoking so much it was a bitch! My savings grace was that I got a chest cold and couldn’t smoke for a few days. Total blessing in disguise because I didn’t go back. I figured if I got through the first 3 days, then I could keep not smoking. Sometimes there are even days now that I don’t think about it. I never thought I’d get to that point! I wish you MUCH luck on your next try!!! I’ve got my fingers and eyes crossed for you. 🙂

      Oh, and I totally believe you are straight, even if you DO like Fraser! 😉 Ha!

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      • Lol. who gives a fuck? If it makes you happy, do it. My great aunt smoked until she was 92 and then they made her quit when her kids put her in a home. you know what? she died a month later. Coincidence? Doubtful. I drink way too much and could give two shits what my health conscious friends think. So instead of living until I’m 84 I’ll only live until I’m 79? Oh no?! At least I’ll have had fun!

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        • You are truly awesome!!! You know I love the attitude of “who gives a fuck”!!! I basically live my life by that philosophy! 🙂

          Bless your grandma!! I love someone who’s just like, “eh, fuck it–I like smoking, I’m gonna smoke.” Sorry she passed, but it sounds like she did it her way and I adore that.

          Yeah, I’m not particularly health conscious–but as a girl who’s on The Pill, smoking is even worse for you and since I’ve been smoking for soooooo long I figured I’d give my poor body a rest. I was only smoking about 4 a day, but I figured if I could quit, then why not give it a shot. But I swear, if I’m ever terminally ill or the zombie apocalypse is on the horizon, I’m buying 10 cartons and smoking til I puke and drink myself into a stupor! 😉

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  4. Well done Jo. I am proud of you. At least you still have sex 😉 If you give up smoking, drinking and sex, you don’t live longer it just seems like it.
    Gave up drinking in 2002
    Gave up smoking in 2007
    Became single in … 2010

    Four months cold turkey is better than magnificent. Brilliant … beyond brilliant.

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    • Thank you! Isn’t it funny how we can remember exactly when we had our last puff? Congrats on quitting!

      As for the smell…I still love the smell of a cigarette being smoked, but I can’t stand the smell of a cigarette on someone’s clothes. That smell totally grosses me out now. Eww!!!

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  6. I’m proud of you! I’m sure it was very hard but now you’re that much healthier so yay! I could never understand the allure of breathing icky air in and out through a stick but…that’s just me. 😉 Congrats to you. 😀

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    • You are such a sweetie. Thank you. 🙂 I will be healthier, dammit! I BETTER be after giving up my very favorite thing.

      Smoking is an odd thing–I don’t know what is so wonderful and relaxing about it, but it just is. I still miss it…. I blame my friend (the one in the pic) who gave me my first smoke while hiding behind a dumpster at Francis Scott Key mall in Frederick, Maryland. We were 14 and hiding because the cops were roaming around looking for our drunk asses. Man, we were some wild women!! 🙂 I gave her her first joint, so I got even! 😉

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      • Wild indeed! Glad you got even with her though. But yeah, I’m proud of you. I’m sure we all want you around for a long time, so no more smoking! 🙂 I forgot to mention, I love Frasier…I remember that clip. 😀

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        • I actually said, “Awwwww” out loud when I read your comment. It wasn’t even a mental, “Awwww.” It was an audible one. You are so damn sweet. Thanks hon.

          I loved Frasier too. I love smart comedy. And stupid, inappropriate comedy too. I just like to giggle because my IQ is 8. 😉 XOXO

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  7. This is FABulous news!! Keep going Jodi. I found out in 2002 I have heart disease – cold turkey was easy. Don’t get to this point. Awesome post, inspiring to those who want to quit this legal addiction.

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    • Thanks, doll! I’m so sorry to hear about the heart disease. My goodness. I’ll be sending prayers. It’s hearing stuff like that that makes me glad I quit. My biggest fear was having to tell my wonderful husband that I smoked myself into lung cancer or some other awful thing. I couldn’t bear to do that. I hope you are feeling okay. Sending you healthy vibes right now. 🙂

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    • Haha, aww! Lol, I’m not that cute. I’m pretty damn sure your IQ is higher than 8. Comedy is awesome. I can’t believe there are people (who I know) who dislike comedy. They’ll ONLY watch reality tv. WHAT?! Lol.

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  10. Good for you!! My boyfriend is in the process of quitting chewing tobacco and it’s pretty frustrating when he flips out for no reason, but I’m supporting him 100% even if it means being the punching bag. (figuratively of course, he ain’t no Chris Brown) Keep up the good work!

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    • “He ain’t no Chris Brown” made me burst out laughing! 🙂 Well done! 🙂

      Yeah, my hubby tried to quit smoking for a few days last year and, well…I kinda wanted to kill him. He didn’t take the withdrawal well. Lucky for him, I don’t get bitchy when I quit–though I do eat more. I’ve gained 7 pounds, but that is still healthier than smoking every day. Much luck with your boyfriend!! 🙂

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  11. I quit almost 4 years ago. I miss it almost everyday but being able to walk up a flight of stairs without coughing up a lung makes it worth it. I too started early in life (12) and although I did quit when I was pregnant with both of my kids, pretty much after I quit breast feeding, I picked it back up. It was hard, not gonna lie, but I feel so much better now. Loved the clip! That’s exactly what I loved about smoking. LOL

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    • Good for you!!! And what a good mommy that you quit while preggers. Cigarettes must be horribly unhealthy for little belly inhabitors (that is so not a word). 🙂

      Lord knows I miss it after a meal or when stressed–it’s soooo hard not to light up, but when I set my mind to something I usually make it happen. And I’m one determined broad!

      Glad you liked the clip. I remember seeing it when it originally aired and thinking that she’d captured it perfectly. 🙂

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  13. Good for you Jodi!! I’m a smoker… Going on and off since my university years, last time off about 2 months ago for one month. You are totally right, it is not a good experience, but is one you have to live (the quitting, no the smoking) at one (or several) point on your life…
    Take care and keep strong! 🙂

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    • In all honesty, I just went cold turkey. The key for me was to try and not do things that made me want to smoke. For example, I used to love to go in the backyard and play Angry Birds and chain smoke. Now I never go in the backyard at all because it’s a trigger. Once I’ve been off them for a year or so, I’ll be able to revisit my own yard, but right now it’s too tempting.

      I wish you MUCH luck! It’s quite freeing to not have to worry about finding a place to smoke out in public where no one will yell at you. And it’s quite nice not smelling like an ashtray. GOOD LUCK!!

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  15. Super job! Keep it up. I have a friend who quit after she started to put the money aside she used to pay for the smokes. It added up quickly and she would use that money to buy clothes or shoes. She quit months later seeing the money she was wasting.

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    • That is a great idea!!!! You really can save some bucks. I was lucky as at the end I was down to about 4-5 smokes a day, so it wasn’t too bad, but when I was at a pack a day? Lord have mercy that was an expensive habit! 🙂 Congrats to your friend!

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    • Congrats!! Good for you. 🙂 Preggers or not (and yeah, that’s a great reason) it’s a bitch to quit! It’s gotten better though. It’s been almost 6 months to the day and not a puff. If I can go this long, I can hopefully go forever. Thanks for the sweet encouragement and for dropping by! It’s lovely to meet you. 🙂

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  20. I promised my wife that I’d quit when she was going to have a child. Little did I know that she’d get pregnant (I’ve recently figured out how that happened from a book someone gave me). Haven’t smoked since and it was twenty-five years ago. Dreamed about smoking for about ten years, though…

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  22. Good for your for quitting. I never started in the first place. I have had family members die from lung cancer.

    I was curious though about why it is so hard to quit.

    Some of the posts describe “triggers” or “craves”. When one of these occurs, does a smoker feel something or is it more a thought in the mind and what does it feel like physically or mentally? Is this some kind of an alert to a smoker that it time to light up?

    Is there a pattern to how a smoker decides when to light up? Is this tied to what they are doing that day? Is there like a timer inside the brain that only allows a smoker to go so long before they get a crave and on average about how long between cigarettes could you go? Do smokers smoke when they want to or only when a trigger or crave occurs?

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    • Hi Stephen!

      You are so wise to never have started. Smoking is a crutch in so many ways.

      It’s great when stressed to light one up and put everything on pause for a few.

      It’s an ice breaker at work and social events because all the smokers join together to weather the heat or the blizzard for a puff.

      There is just something so relaxing about a good smoke.

      But… they are just sooooooooo bad for you! I quit because I want to live a long and healthy life with my hubby. I didn’t ever want him to have to see me sick because of something I did to myself.

      Luckily, I got a terrible flu and couldn’t smoke for a few days (my lungs would have exploded!) so I took that as a sign that it was time to quit.

      And I did. Not one puff since the day I stopped. But I still crave it almost daily. It can be torture. But if I’ve gone this long, I can make it!!!

      Thank yourself for never putting yourself in the position to have to quit. I wish I had been that smart!!

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