One of my wonderful blog buddies, Alastair, reminded me of this post so I thought I’d put it up here again. I wrote this right when I first started blogging so I doubt most of you have ever seen it. Read at your own risk. You may want to burn the memory of it from your brain with a hot poker once you’ve read it. π
As most of you know, I walk a bit of a twisty line. I donβt like Mixey Mixey food. I curse a lot. I think that love is all about Mr. Ketchup. I am addicted to teddy bears. There is lots of oddness going on around here and Iβm okay with that. I always figure if you can do something in a fun way, why not? This leads me to a delightfully hideous memory that makes me both laugh and run screaming into the night each time I think about it.
When I was a little girl, like most of you, I drank out of a sippy cup. As I got older my mom let us drink out of plastic mugs (even though I always wanted to drink out of Daddyβs yellow and white checkered coffee mug.) I like cool and funky drinking containers to this day. Why have boring glasses if you can have weird ones?
Needless to say, I like to make an adventure out of everything and for years I found a fun way to do that it the shower. NO! This is not some perverted story. I was around 7 when this silly shower fun began and if memory serves it went on for at least a couple of years.
I found a toy in my momβ shower that was awesome for rinsing off soap and getting a drink without using the shower head. It was this cool thingy that I figured my mom also used for drinking and rinsing. Iβd try and avoid being hit by the water coming out of the shower head and only use this awesome toy for bathing and liquid refreshment. I would fill my toy up with water and let it rain down on me like a delightful summer sprinkle. A successful shower was one where my thirst was quenched and my body cleaned by the cool red and white toy. Showering was fun! Mom didnβt even have to fight me to get me in there. I never told anyone about my pseudo shower toy. It was my own little shower-time fun.
Now, Iβd like to introduce you to my favorite shower toy, out of which I DRANK and BATHED probably 500 times. Scroll WAY down to see it.
I love this post. So glad you have assaulted everyone else with it. They deserve it π
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I’m a verbal and visual assaulter!!! RUN! RUN for your lives!!! π (Thanks for the inspiration for the re-post.) XOXO
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You’re welcome π At least when someone calls someone else a douche bag, they will have this memory. I do whenever my daughter says it π
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That’s awesome!!! π Ha!! π
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π
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When Jodi gives a disclaimer, you KNOW to take her on her word. Unholy crow balls, Batman! Wow.
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Damn right!!! “Unholy crow balls, Batman” is one of the funniest lines ever. π Love it.
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That was censored and sanitized for your protection.
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That is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. =D
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Awesome! I’m so happy to hear that. I live to horrify people into a good chuckle. π
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Oh my Gawsh pick me up off the floor!! Dat wuz funnneeee! Thanks for the story Jodi!! Hugz! Xoxoxo Lisa
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Ha! That’s awesome. I’m so happy you liked it!! π I love making people giggle with my childhood follies (nightmares!). π XOXOXO right back at’cha, luv!
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I remember reading this!! hehe…. You bad, gurl. π
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Ah yes, my friend. You’ve been with me since almost the beginning. π Thank goodness you stuck around! XO
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I plan on it, your stuck with me! π
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Okay, I want to know the end of the story… when did you learn what your bath toy was used for?
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Hey there! Nice seeing you over here, my friend. π I was in my mid-20s. You can’t imagine my stark horror when I found out it was a DOUCHE BAG!!! Oh. My. God. It still makes me cringe! π
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I am in awe that you actually shared that story. I would have blocked it from my memory. I will never look at a hot water bottle ever again without thinking of you.
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I live to horrify!!! π I remember when I found out what my friendly shower toy was actually used for. Oh my God. I drank out of my mom’s birth control. I’m scarred for life! π
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What a great post I did enjoy reading this
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I’m so glad you liked it! Living vicariously through someone else’s horror is always delightful. π π Hugs!!
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OMG – I can’t believe you shared that! I feel scarred for life!! Very funny.
Thanks
Lynn π
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I live to scar people! π Glad you enjoyed. π It still makes me laugh.
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LOL. Well, you did have a nice little disclaimer for us.
That was hilarious. A douche bag…lol.
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I always try to warn!!! π Every time I think about it, I crack up laughing. Of course I’d drink out of my mom’s contraceptive device…of course!! π
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To funny! When I was a kid I used one to defrost the refrigerator. It worked great. My mother managed to keep a straight face and complemented me on my “thinking outside the box.”
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SEE!!! You and I are just creative people!! Our moms should be proud of us. Still though…ewww!!! π
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0_o
Oh dear Miss Jodi . . . And whee were so innocent too
Nibbles, Nutty, Buddy & Basil
xxxx
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My darling furries. I’m so sorry to have marred your sweet innocence!!! π Miss Jodi loves you!!!
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I’m throwing up with thoughts of….that explains so much about you LOL!
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No kidding, right? If you ever wondered how I got this way–now you know!! π
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Ok, I’m about to get laughed at here, but message me in the morning, because I don’t “get it”. I’m serious!
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Oh my goodness…I’m about to violate your sweet, innocent brain. When I was little I used my mom’s douche bag (her method of contraception) to drink out of and shower with. I’d fill the “hot water bag” with water and drink out of the wand that she had to, well…insert into her girlie parts in order to rinse out my dad’s baby-making juice. I DRANK outta that!!! Someone kill me… please… π
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OMG!! I SERIOUSLY had NO CLUE what that bag was supposed to be!!! And now I’m scarred for life!!! LMAO, I already was years ago, and I’m not that innocent π
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Tee hee hee…I love that you are horrified!! Honest to God, isn’t that just disgusting!? I can’t rinse my mouth out enough. Thank God I’m not a germaphobe or I’d be in some serious trouble! π
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Honestly, I’m not horrified. You should see some of my ex-boyfriend’s, they are horrifyingly ugly!! Ha!! Xoxoxo!!
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Teeeee heeeee! I was thinking what was so bad about the water bottle, then I saw what went with it. That might explain why they were so popular with the older generation. I’ll never be able to keep a straight face if I see a water bottle now.
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HA! I love grossing people out! I used the graphic with the explanations on it so that just in case people thought it was a simple water bottle, they’d now know and understand my shame and horror! π
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In the immortal word of Piglet: “Oh my, oh, mm…mm…mm..my, my, my!” π
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Ha ha! π Poor little Piglet–he would have had an aneurysm had he read my little story. π
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