First: Stripper Smell. Next: Clean Floors. Now: Kissable Lips!

Rarely do I suggest products on this blog, but sometimes something is just too good to not share with you!

First it was how to smell like stripper. Who doesn’t want to smell like some hot chick on a stage?

Then it was the perfect $50 vacuum for hard floors–no carpets allowed.

Now it’s how to have the world’s softest and most kissable lips!

Living in the 4,000,000 degree hell that I do, my lips get all dry and icky sometimes. Especially in the summer. But I’ve found a cure! Woo hoo!

I went from this:


To this:

Lipswith the swipe of a little bit of lip balm.

For $9.00 I now have the softest dang lips on earth. And, the corners of my mouth aren’t splitting any more.

I’d tried everything. Neosporin, Vaseline, Chapstick, Burts Bees. You name it, I’d tried it. And I was fed up! Stupid non-working crap. So I did a ton of research on medical sites, chick sites, blogs, etc…and this one from got a top vote often enough that I thought I’d give it a shot. Within 10 minutes my lips felt better and when I woke up the next day they were smooth as a baby’s butt. This stuff is awesome! I got the mango favored one and it smells so yummy. It costs $9.00, which seems like a lot but isn’t because IT ACTUALLY WORKS! I’ve cumulatively spent a hell of a lot more than that trying to find something that doesn’t suck, so I’m happy to pay 9 bucks. I think the unflavored one is only $7.00.

Teddies and Lip Balm

Hi! We are two of the Doppel Teddies! We love Mommy’s new lip balm.

I have no clue if it’s sold in stores; I ordered mine from They have unscented or you can pick from 6 scents. They have an SPF one. They also have one in a tube that looks like Chapstick that isn’t glossy (for you boys who don’t want to have shiny, delicious, just-glossed-looking lips). The only one I’ve tried is the Mango one and it is a miracle worker.

I just thought I’d share this with you as I’m sure that while this is a summertime problem for me (as it was 116 degrees yesterday and dry as fuck), I’d imagine others of you have this problem in the Winter. Now you can be prepared.

So there. I’ve done my good deed for the day. 🙂 Hope you’ve had a great weekend. Damn things are always way too short!

Yep, I’m out to destroy you! Run for your lives!

Well I’ll be a pickled pig’s foot!

Man, you get some seriously fucked up, turn me into a vegetarian results when you search for Pickled Pigs Feet. Ugh!

Man, you get some seriously fucked up, turn-me-into-a-vegetarian results when you search for Pickled Pigs Feet. Ugh!

I just came across this adorable, funny and snarky blog post from DamBreaker about moi. ME? Really?

It just tickles me so and humbles me tons when someone takes time out of their day to write something about me or my books. Thank you so much, dear friend, for the wonderful post. (Though I am gonna kick your ass for those pics you used of me!!!)

Read how DamBreaker thinks I hate his tummy (I secretly do!). KIDDING! He’s the cat’s meow. 🙂

Thank you, dear, for the lovely post. You just made my day. 🙂

DamBreaker Post


ADULT EYES ONLY! If It’s Naughy You Want, It’s Naughty You Get! ;)

I’m a posting fiend this week! But there’s been lots of good stuff going on ’round here.

I am delighted to let you know that my second monthly column in The Acquiring Man magazine just published. Yay! It’s, shockingly, not full of cuss words. But it is full of sage wisdom for any man who wants to, well…have the best nookie of his life! It’s titled, “Have Head-to-Toe Sex Tonight!” That doesn’t sound too shabby, eh? We could all use a little bit of that. Personally, I’ve had a headache for the last week and a half…my poor hubby! I bet he wants me to read my own article and take my own advice. 😉

Here’s a little peek at it. Just click on any of the red text or on the picture to read the whole article.

Head to toe sex

On a side note, I gotta tell ya–it’s so weird being such an odd duck. One day I’m posting about sex. The next I’m posting about teddy bears. The next I’m posting recipes. I’m a Gemini, so I guess that explains it. I’m just glad you guys seem to like my rather eclectic, sass-mouth blog. I’m always so happy when you visit me here. Have a great night and an awesome weekend! Love ya!

Move Over Key Lime Pie!! Guest Blog

Woo hoo! It’s been an awesome week so far and I have another fun thing to share.

The lovely Bernadette of the famed Rants From My Crazy Kitchen asked me to do a guest post on her foodie blog. How dang cool! So I did something super easy that even I can make. I think a 6 year old could make it. Actually, it would be quite the fun recipe to do with a little one who is just learning how to make stuff in the kitchen. I’m pretty sure even 2 squirrels and a blind bunny could team up and make it.

Guest Blog on Rants from My Crazy Kitchen

This recipe is from Mom (what a shock!) and she made it for me on my birthday earlier this month. It is soooooo yummy and refreshing, but you’ll have to get the scoop over at Rants From My Crazy Kitchen.

Here’s a sneak preview of the yumminess:

Birthday Lime Pie for Bernadette's Blog


A Podcast of My Smarmy Mouth!

hate cleaning

I am so very excited to share with you that the ever-lovely Kris Keppeler has done it again! She has a fantastic podcast site and I am blessed to have had her give voice to one of my blog posts.

She took my, “Reasons I am NEVER cleaning ANYTHING again!” post and brought it to life. It is such a treat hearing her interpretation of my words, so I thought I’d share it with you guys too!

You can listen to her podcast by clicking here: KICK ASS!

You should definitely check out and follow her blog here: Awesomeness!

I’m also going to put it on the right side of my blog where her other Jodi-Post-Podcast can be found. Give me a day or two to reformat that part though as I’ve had my face buried in a computer for the last 10 hours and I’m starting to go both blind and crazy.

HUGE THANKS to Kris! It really does mean the world to me.

Podcast Cleaning Blog 6-25-13

Image procured from: