What the Shit is This?


Dear Cracker Jack people,

You can suck it!

What kind of rip off, jacked up “prize” is this?

Cracker Jack 1Cracker Jack 2

I’ll tell ya, it’s a shit prize. No. It’s not a prize. It’s a turd in a box of cheap popcorn with nuts so hard if you bite on them you’ll break your teeth.

Are you seriously telling me that your gift to me is an explanation I can get on Wikipedia? WHERE’S MY DIAMOND RING OR ACTION FIGURE OR TATTOO!?

I want my money back. I want my childhood dreams of finding a diamond ring in the box back. I want the Cracker Jacks makers to be shamed for their cheapness.

Cracker Jacks Ring

Back in the day there were few things more exciting then when Mom would surprise you with a box of Cracker Jacks and you couldn’t wait to get to the bottom for that awesome prize that you’d cherish until your sister stole it or you lost it or Mom sucked it up in the vacuum.

Now? I wouldn’t wipe my hamster’s butt with your “prize.”

Shame! Cracker Jack makers. Shame! Have some pride in your product please.

Yours truly,


(Now a full and complete Poppycock lover! (Heh heh…she said cock.))  🙂

53 comments on “What the Shit is This?

  1. What kind of monkey-brained, horse-shitted, dead-headed, limp-wristed executive decision is that to fuck the consumers after so many years of great past time memories and your own damned summertime theme?


  2. I KNOW!! Right?????? WTH?? I loved eating Cracker Jacks as a kid. But now? EW… Nope…Poppycock all the way girlfriend! OR (even worse) have you ever had one of those cans from the holidays with Caramel, butter and Cheese popcorn? OMG! I can make myself sick with those dang thangs! LOL!


  3. Its a travesty! As the oldest, I always got the toy out of the box first, and now my poor brothers will never get to experience the joy first hand since they always got the prizes after I’d finished with them 😦 Stingy bastards


  4. You know very well the corporate creeps have their excuses at the ready, It was done to maintain the quality of the product for the consumer while keeping the price down or It was an elf and safety issue. What they really mean is it gave us an extra bonus at Christmas. Cheapskates.
    xxx Massive Hugs Jodi- I wish xxx


    • Total corporate creeps! In a word where Christmas popcorn tins and Poppycock exist, you’d think Cracker Jack would want to keep some of its market share. Apparently not with those sucky, insulting “prizes”!! 🙂

      Massive hugs right back at’cha, my friend!


  5. Pingback: The Best Ever | Dambreaker

  6. Wow, are they getting cheap or what? That looks like something you would get when you unwrapped a piece of double-bubble bubble gum (remember the cartoons they had–and at least those were in color!).

    Sorry I can’t catch up on all of your posts–I’m just trying to make an effort to let you know I’m still alive, kicking, and thinking of you!


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