Musings of an Old Hag on her Birthday: Part twat

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Oh! I mean part trois! As in 3, since this is my 3rd birthday post. 😉

How on God’s green earth can it be my birthday again?

Jodi Blowing Out Candles

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I turned 24? Lie to me. Tell me it was yesterday! 🙂

Kidding. I actually don’t mind growing older so much.

Yeah, my back hurts more often, but the upshot is that my boobs are longer. OH! I mean bigger. Yeah, that’s what I meant. Bigger and juicier and more bodacious! Uh huh, let’s stick with that.. 😉Long Boobs!

And sometimes I think I want a job that is stress-free. You know, like getting paid to pet kitty cats…or something just as delicious and peaceful.

Kitties

But beyond all of that, growing older has its perks.

Perk 1: Being surrounded only by people that I truly love (cause fuck all those drama-causing mo fos!).

Perk 2: Being happy with who I am.

Perk 3: Having adventures like getting SCUBA certified (and actually being able to afford it finally!).

Perk a: Realizing that having a car that you don’t fret about parking (because you know every dumb asshat on earth is going to ding it with their door) is the best thing ever. Don’t get me wrong, I want a Dodge Challenger so bad that I could explode, but I’m content with my Flintstone claptrap car.

ChargerFlintstone car

Perk d: Realizing that having just a few close friends is so much more valuable than trying to spread myself thin and then not giving enough to anyone.

Perk 5d: Understanding that people who are shitbags live shitty lives and lay in the bed of their making nightly. One fuckhat I can think of in particular is about a decade older than me so I take comfort in the fact that he’ll probably die before I do (or at least go bald before me). 😉 This is how I picture him when he’s in Nasty Fucker mode and it helps me from grabbing the closest hatchet and laying him to waste:

Old man

Perk 9: Learning that while I’m a grammar nazi, sometimes I gotta just stp teh fuk bck and spall shit rong nd bee okey wif it. (Yes, that includes having a crazy numbering system for these very perks and just running with it. I kept reordering them and the renumbering just got stupid annoying…so it is what it is.)   🙂

All in all, it’s been a great year.

I have a wonderful hubby, a loving family, friends I adore, kitties that love me, a crazy hamster that entertains me to no end, adorable chicken butt chickens that give me eggs, a house that’s getting close to being done with remodeling, a job I mostly enjoy and only 4 gray hairs–including the one I just plucked out of my eyebrow.

I’m thankful every day for the wonderful life I have. And a big thanks to all of you who put up with my dirty potty mouth and smart ass ways. Bless you for coming back for more punishment.

Happy birthday to all the Geminis out there! Keep torturing those you love with your multiple personalities (as I do daily!).

HappyBirthday

XOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOOXOXOX

22 comments on “Musings of an Old Hag on her Birthday: Part twat

  1. Happiest of Birthdays to thee, with all of the love and warm fuzzies that a person can gather that hasn’t been traveling underneath the shoes of some random individual. With all our hearts we wish you goodness and joy and happy shit because we are proud of you.

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  2. You’re not getting older, you’re getting better! I’m in total agreement with everything you mentioned about the perks of maturing 🙂 By the way, in my lifetime I have two new cars. They both got big dings with a few months of ownership. Maybe it’s a christening thing? Enjoy your Birthday!

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      • Well, happy late birthday, sweetie!!! 🙂 I hope it was wonderful.

        I know how you feel about not getting to blog much lately. I’m soooooooo dang busy that by the time my sorry ass has a chance to relax for 2 seconds that I cannot bear the thought of picking up my computer. I need independent wealth so I have all the time in the world to play with my lovely online buddies. 🙂 XOXO

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