I was mauled and I liked it!

Good gracious God…I just got a massage so good that I almost feel like I cheated on the hubby!!! It felt so good that I kept wanting to burst out giggling but I worried he’d think I was being inappropriate.


I’ve had many, many massages over the years. And while you may think, “Oh you spoiled rotten brat!” I actually get them for their medicinal value. (Though I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t my favorite thing next to awesome nookie and chocolate cake!)

But today…ahh…today. I got the most amazing massage. It was just about full-body contact for goodness sake! It was bonkers and it was amazing and I’m stunned I can type because I’m a big puddle of goo right now. And I’m like an oil slick. It’s awesome. When I took off my shoes I was able to essentially ice skate across the floor cause my feet are so oiled up. Bliss!

My massage therapist had hands like baseball mitts, but used his forearms most of the time so it was like getting rubbed by someone with 18 inch hands. Totally delish.

And, he’d rub my back while I was laying ON my back. Doesn’t that sound nuts? He oiled me up and put his hands and arms between me and the massage table and let the weight of my body add extra pressure. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. I could have stayed on that table for 9 hours. He had me so twisted up like a pretzel sometimes that it’s a miracle he didn’t see my naughty bits. Luckily, he was a consummate professional.

If you’ve never gotten a massage, or love them and want another one, fly to Arizona and come lay on his table. It’s worth the flight! 😉

Okay, so this was the most pointless post ever, but I just had to share. I feel half-drunk with pleasure! 🙂 If only I were rich…I’d do that shit everyday!! 🙂

30 comments on “I was mauled and I liked it!

  1. That is too funny! You had me at that opening line…my wife would die if I said something like that…well, maybe not. She is used to me saying stuff like that. That’s for the good chuckle this afternoon!


    • You must be blessed like me with a wonderful significant other! I’m so lucky my hubby puts up with my sassy mouth with a smile on his face. Seriously though, that massage was HEAVEN! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed my mindless rambling! 🙂


  2. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOVVEEEE Massages! Especially the ones that make you feel like a puddle of goo! I have had many over the years and while some of them were for pure pleasure, now I get them for the true healing properties. When I travel (most of the time that is 10 to 11 hours in a car by myself) I am a physical wreck! I usually do it and then turn around 5 or 6 days later and do it again 😦 So I have learned… getting one before and after my trips makes a huge difference in my recovery time. Which usually still takes 2 to 3 days WITH a massage. Unfortunately flying to same destination does not cut down on time so that doesn’t make any difference and cost a whole lot more *sigh*.
    So I am totally jealous! But if ever I am in AZ I will be sure to look you up and find out where this amazing man is! 🙂


    • Good grief you travel a lot!!!! I used to be a road warrior and had to stop. I could not take all that travel anymore. Especially after getting the buzz muff while on the road. That did it for me! 🙂 Like you, massage is actually therapeutic for me. I have a hormone issue that just gets worse and worse the more stressed out I am. So the massage helps me de-stress and feel better. Glad it helps you too! Honestly, if I was rich I’d get a 2 hour massage 3 times a week. I’d live to be 300!! 🙂 XOXOX


      • Well…for now I have little choice as far as the travel goes. My daughter and family are all in Western KY and we live in East Texas. Soooo…. until they make a direct flight from my hometown to theirs (or I move back home) I will be making the drive *sigh*


      • Strangely enough I tried to get into one today to no avail before I saw your post. Now I’m most definitely going to get myself a good rubdown ASAP! I can’t always afford them but they are worth every penny!!


        • Go get some rubbies!!!! 🙂 I live off Groupon massages. I never pay full price. Recently, I got a Groupon that let me get two 2-hour massages for only $50 each. Total heaven! I just got another Groupon today that’s 90 mins for only $24. I could never afford full price.

          Luckily the place with the awesome guy has a $10 annual membership, so you can get super inexpensive massages. I already have another one scheduled for the end of August. Can’t wait! I hope yours is awesome! 🙂


    • You crack me up! 🙂 I gotta tell you, I luckily have an “off switch” for lusty feelings that I use during massages and he was totally professional. BUT! If my hubby had given me that same massage…well…he’d be limping for a week! 😉 Yep. I’m shameless!


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