Well, it’s confirmed.
I’m older than Methuselah!
And I’m able to document when my ancient-ness started to the exact day. How many people can say that?
So, there I am, putting on a little makeup before the man gets home so that I don’t rival the Crypt Keeper for ugliest freak show on earth and I see something in my eyebrow.
“What on earth is that?” I ask myself.
Then I flip the mirror around to the 10x magnification side (eeeee gawds, don’t ever do that!) and saw this monstrosity:
What in the ever-loving hell is that?
Who ever heard of such a hideous thing?
Half luxurious black. Half Jodi-is-old-as-dirt gray.
What the fuck????????
I’m too young for this!
Oh, and add to the grayness the fact that that eyebrow hair is 300 feet long.
It looks like a 90-year-old man’s nose hair.
Hmmm…what shall I do to cheer myself up?
I’m thinking a splurge of pizza for dinner.
Yep, that’ll heal what ails me.
🙂
Hope you guys are having a good week! XO
There are worse places to find a gray hair. Trust me. But a little snow on the roof – or shutters, or front porch – doesn’t mean there’s still not a fire going inside!
LikeLike
I love the way you make me feel better! I had a friend who, at 30, found one south of the border. Let me just tell you…you could hear her scream miles down the road!!! 🙂
LikeLike
I think when we discover such things, it should just drive us to prove we’ve still got it! It’s just … frosting.
LikeLike
I agree! 🙂 I went roller skating with leg warmers right after finding it! 😉
LikeLike
Haha welcome to the world of the old bastards 😀
LikeLike
Suck it, mo fo! 😉 I know, I’m older than dirt. I just need to accept it. Luckily, no one expects me to ACT mature. Whew! 😉
LikeLike
Getting old mandatory, growing up is optional
LikeLike
Thank God! 😉
LikeLike
An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she’s driving a car. As she’s going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, “Excuse me ma’am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license?” She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, “Excuse me ma’am but I saw you cross the centre line back there. Can I see your registration please?” She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man’s room again he jumps out. This time, he’s stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, “Oh no… not the Breathalyzer again!”
LikeLike
Oh my good Lord! That is hysterical!!! You boys will do anything for head! 😉 Can’t blame you. I tell my hubby that if I had one of those toys attached to my body I be banging cantaloupes on a daily basis. It seems to me a cantaloupe would be awesome for banging. But what do I know? I don’t have one of those thingies. I’d probably never leave the house if I did. 😉
LikeLike
Hahaha
LikeLike
Laughing my ass off!! Isn’t getting old fun?? NOT!! Tee hee Hugz! Love Ya Lisa and Bear
LikeLike
I want you to know that my teddy has gotten SO MUCH LOVE!!!! She gets more than daily hugs and cuddles from Mommy. 🙂 If you don’t mind, I’d love to do a post about her (and her wonderful maker) some time in the near future. Would that be okay? 🙂 Love you!
LikeLike
What the living FUCK?!?
Did you have your permission slip signed for this?????
LikeLike
I refuse to ask permission from anyone for anything! I VETO permission-getting! I’m a grown ass woman. 😉 Well, at least according to my fuckin’ eyebrows! 😉
LikeLike
Let’s just hope your eyebrows do not betray you.
LikeLike
Sons of bitches!!!!! 🙂
LikeLike
Yeah! Who do they think they are any ways????
LikeLike
I’m sure on you it looked distinguished Jodi whereas it makes some of us look extinguished. Just think how fantastic it will be when that luxurious mane of yours gets a little snow, it’ll just be proof of your wisdom and no-one younger will be able to argue with you- Right!
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
LikeLike
I just always wanna squeeze you til you pop! How do you always find a way to make me smile. 🙂 And those youngsters better not argue with me EVER! I will sass-mouth them into shame! 😉 XOXOXO
LikeLike
Awww…. you poor deer! uhm… dear! tee hee! I am blessed to have blond hair therefore my WHITE ones don’t show as bad but I get those bad boys colored every 5 weeks and I will be blond til the day I die even if I have to skip a meal to buy the cheap stuff!! LOL! I found MY first gray hairs 2 weeks before I turned 30. I know! I know! Why in the hell was I looking for them?? But I did… and there they were! Both my parents were premature gray so I had no say in the matter. At least you only found one girlfriend! So I say pluck them suckers for as long as you can!! {{{HUGS}}} 🙂
LikeLike
You beautiful blondies are so lucky! With my black hair I turn into an immediate skunk! I guess at least I smell good (most of the time!). 😉
30 is young!!! Dang parents and their dang gray hair! 😉 My mom is 75 and barely has any, and I have her coloring, so I thought I was going to be good to go. But of course not! DAMMIT ALL TO HELL! 😉 I’m too lazy to dye my hair too often, so I bought a hair magic marker to cover the grays when I’m turning into Pepe La Pew! 😉 XOXOXO
LikeLike
The day I find something like that, I’m done! It’s bad enough having to color my hair, which immediately takes 5-10 years off my face, but always feels like an epic chore.
I dare not own a 10x mirror. There is nothing I need to see THAT badly!
LikeLike
I cursed quite loudly when I found it. NOT PLEASED!!!! 😉 I hate coloring my hair too. Total suck. Now I’ll have to do it even more. Ugh. As for the 10x mirror, it is truly hideous. Anyone that looks in one more than once is a masochist! 😉
LikeLike
Hahahaha – Jodi, you make me laugh. And it’s been quite a while since I’ve been here. Let me tell you, though, if a grey hair was the end of all things I’d be long gone by now – and, hell, I’m only… well, let’s just leave it at that. Hope all is well with you.
Oh, BTW, I finally bought your books. 🙂
LikeLike
Glad to give you the giggles and very happy to see you back! 🙂
All in all, the gray hair isn’t too bad. It’s more the maintenance than the significance that’s a total pain in the ass! 😉
As for the books, I hope you like them! Fingers, toes, eyes and knees crossed. Wait. If I keep my knees crossed the hubby will feel neglected. I’ll keep everything else crossed that you enjoy them or at least get a few good chuckles. 🙂 Hugs!
LikeLike
Welcome to the club!
LikeLike
Much like the KKK, it’s a club I have NO desire to be in! 😉 HUGS! 🙂
LikeLike
Wait until the chin hairs start to grow like weeds… 😐
LikeLike
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I refuse to believe that happens. La la la la la la la…I’m not listening to you! 😉 XOXO
LikeLike
They will make you pay attention when they grow long enough to tickle your collar bone! 🙂
LikeLike
I’m throwing myself on a sword just thinking about it. Being a woman is SO NOT EASY!!!!
LikeLike
I’ll bet not using real money that through all that, you still are beautiful.
Though I probably went through a similar crisis when I found my hair was falling out, ahem thanks dad, we all don’t get any older… only “wiser.”
Hope that comforted you at least a little. hehe. 🙂
LikeLike
You are too sweet! 🙂
Ah yes, the wonders of hair loss! It seems as though nature has it out for us non-teenagers! Hair missing where it should be and growing where it shouldn’t. Add to it the lovely quality of gray, it’s a wonder we don’t all throw more of a fit as we graciously age! 😉
LikeLike