Well, you guys know that our little Tick Teddy likes to go on wild adventures.
He’s been all over the country and up into Canada, leaving a trail of dead hookers in his wake.
There’s no confining him. No stopping him. He just won’t abide!
This week, Tick Teddy is on Hollywood Boulevard.
He’s laying waste to everything in his path and I will show you the evidence that can certainly (hopefully) be used against him in a court of law.
Tick’s Seemingly Innocent Start
“Hi mama. Daddy left me here while he’s off banging bar slut wannabes. There’s nothing for me to play with. I’m bored mama.”
Tick Finds a Friend
“Look who I found, mama! I gots me a Tyrannical Rex to play with. I hope he doesn’t pull me down into a life ‘a crime. I’ma gonna use him to help me see over all the tall people heads. Not to rob banks. No sirreee bob. I promise.”
Tick and Daddy Share a Star
“Told you I was gonna be good. Me ‘n Daddy have our own star on the Walk o’ Shame…oh, I means Walk of Fame.”
Tick Has a Bad Dream
“Hey mama, I gots you a new boyfriend! He tells me he’s the man that dreams are made of. I’m not sure I believe him mama. Mama???”
Tick Finds a Solution
“Whew! No bad dreams for the Tick, mama. I gots me a hundrit percent solution to what ails me.”
Tick Finds His Father
“Mama, I thought you said Daddy was my Daddy? Then why is this asshat telling me that HE’S my father? What’s goin’ on, mama?”
Tick Breaks the Law
“Look, mama, I had to escape my new Daddy. He touched me in bad places. So, yeah, I’ma gonna turn right on red. I gots ta get outta here and fast!”
Tick Gets a Close Encounter of the Boobage Kind
“It sure is warm in here mama. Tick likey.”
Tick Savors the Spoils
“Now mama, don’t get upset. It’s alcohol-free beer. I ain’t shining you on. You knows I’m a good Tick and would never do anything bad or that would get me in trouble.”
Tick Goes to the Pokey
“Well, mama, it had to happen sumtime. I’m just glad you aren’t around to see it first hand. They’s throwing me in the hootscow. I’ma dun for. Say bye to the other teddies for me. I see the way that ho’se is eyeballin’ me. This ain’t gonna go down easy…”
Fare thee well, little buddy. Mommy and Daddy will always love you…
PS: Big props to the hubby, who, while out of town and knowing that I miss him terribly, takes Tick on his adventures and sends me these pictures to make me smile. I am truly the most blessed girl on earth. I love you, baby! 🙂
That is just too damn Funny my friend! I sure love your sense of humor! Brightens my day! Have a wonderful weekend! Hugz Lisa and Bear
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Hey there, sweet stuff! Glad you enjoyed. That little fucker is going to get me thrown into jail one day. He’s nothin’ but trouble! Give yourself a big hug! Love you! 🙂
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I don’t think I’ve sprayed so much liquid out of My nose than I did while reading that.
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YAY!!! That makes a girl happy! 🙂 That naughty little Tick! He’s a rascal! 🙂 XOXOXO
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XO
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I envy your husband his great taste at the same time as I hate him for getting to you first. I expect there would have been a very long queue anyway.
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
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You are just full of sweetness, my wonderful friend! Hey, I LOVE your pic! Getting a smooch on the cheek is always lovely. 🙂 XOXOXOXOXXXO HUGS!
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Oh, and by the way, my dear, I started reading My Barsetshire Diary (The Barsetshire Diaries Book 1) and you are such an EXCELLENT writer! I’m so very impressed. I feel transported as I read your words. Nicely done, sir. Nicely done! 🙂
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Thank you this post made me feel good while Tim threw a tantrum because he couldn’t get the training wheels on Leo’s new bike
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Glad I could rescue you from a tantrum-throwing man! 🙂 Not many things worse! 😉 XO
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I always knew you wasn’t right! LMAO! Funny story that! 😀
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I broke my brain long ago!! 🙂 Tick Teddy says, ‘Hi, pretty lady!” (From the pokey, of course, in a collect call. He’s nothin’ but trouble!)
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HA HA HA HA! 😉
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That’s brilliant. But there again, I would expect no less.
Sounds like Tick had some fun. As long as he wasn’t playing Tick-Tack-Tow with the ladies. But knowing Tick bear, anything is possible. At least he was more reserved than car-teddy.
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Awww…shucks! 😉 Tick is a dirty bastard! But, you are right, compared to Car Teddy the Tick is an angel! Bent halo, of course! 🙂
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That halo that trips him up and he spins it around to show the ladies his “hip wiggling trick”
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I think his forked tail catches on it! 😉
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The ladies love the way he licks his eyebrows 😈
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