Even after the year I’ve had… still so much thankfulness

 

I originally posted this on Facebook, but a friend suggested I put it here too since I have the most wonderful blogging family EVER!!!! πŸ™‚ I totally agreed, as I love you guys to no end. So, here goes. πŸ™‚

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I know it’s past Thanksgiving, but I’ve never really followed the rules for anything anyway. I have some things I want to let everybody know that I’m thankful for, and so much of it has to do with all of you.

I am so very deeply thankful for all of the love, kindness and support my friends here have shown me. It’s so easy for social media to be a place filled with nothing but political banter, disagreements, and or superficial–but very often still funny–types of things.

What I have found this year is it is also a place filled with love and prayers and people who come out of the woodwork to truly let you know that they love you and only want the best for you. That has meant more to me than I can ever begin to express.

I am also incredibly thankful that I’ve been able to return that love to so many of my friends that are having a very rough time of it lately. Whether you’re in emotional pain, physical pain, or both (which is likely the case), being able to let you know that I love you and that I truly am here for you brings me great peace. From the bottom of my heart I mean it when I tell people that they can call me and just cry for an hour, or just sit in silence for an hour knowing someone is on the other end of the phone if they do decide to talk. Hell, I’ll watch a TV show with you over the phone. Or you can just scream and yell cuss words at me until you can’t utter another word because your throat is sore. I truly mean with every fiber of my being that those of you who are going through hard times can call me and do any of those things.

It may have been many years since I’ve seen a lot of you, and we may not have even been close in high school or at a job or wherever it is that we met. Heck, we may not have actually ever met in person, but we’re here now, together, and to me that is what matters.

I’m also so very thankful to my family for supporting me through the last 10 and a half months. That my husband tells me I’m beautiful, even though I’ve lost 75% of my hair and gained a shit ton of weight from not being able to do anything, including walking, for almost a year just blows my mind. And the anazing thing is, I believe him. To know that the man you’ve chosen to spend your life with truly cherishes you is the best gift anyone can ever give or receive. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he’d be thrilled if I lost 40 lbs, and I know he’ll be happy for me when my hair grows back in, but in the meantime he does nothing but support me and lets me know that he loves me regardless of any of that superficial bullshit. That’s such a gift and I can never express my gratitude enough for loving a man who loves me for me, not for me as arm candy, or a bank account, or any of the other reasons so many men have been with me over the years. He loves me. I will forever be thankful for that.

And for those of you who grew up with me and my sister, the very beautiful and loving Becky, you’ll know that she and I had our ups and downs as we grew up. It’s hard being so close in age when you’re a teenager and then your twenties and unfortunately tend to attract and be attracted to the same types of men. God knows it caused a verbal cat fight more than once. But my precious, angelic sister has truly become my best friend. She lets me call her anytime night or day and never makes me feel like a burden.

When Becky was here taking care of me after surgery, she was the most amazing medical advocate for me. She took no shit off anybody and made sure I got the best care possible. When you’re as fucked up as I’ve been, you need somebody strong to have your back. And Becky was that. She never made me feel embarrassed for the hideous things she had to see and do. God bless her for that. She can never unsee the things she had to deal with and yet she’s never made me feel bad or humiliated. She just took it all in stride and made sure that I knew that she loved me and she would do anything for me. That kind of love is simply amazing and I’m so truly blessed for all of that.

While I still have a long way to go to get back to normal, and it may still be a few years before I have enough emotional energy to be a truly good friend in the way that I like to be, what I’m thankful for is that the people who love me understand that I don’t hibernate because I don’t love them or don’t want to talk to them. I don’t hibernate to avoid being a good friend. If 95% of you called me tomorrow and told me you needed me to be on a plane to come take care of you, I would be on that plane. But what is such a beautiful thing is that the people who know me understand that my keeping to myself is me just licking my wounds and trying to heal my brain, my heart, and my body. Plus they say it takes about 3 years, if ever, to feel normal again after severe sepsis, so thank God everyone seems to understand that me not leaving the house to go party has nothing to do with not wanting to see my beautiful friends. It just has to do with me taking time to heal so that when I am back on my feet I’m going to kick ass from here to Maryland and back… Taking no prisoners!

I do realize I should have probably just written a fucking book as this is about the length of one, but it’s 4:32 in the damn morning and I felt like telling everybody how deeply, deeply thankful I am for all of you.

I know I often say things in my comments like “much love,” or “tons of hugs,” or “XOXOXOXO.” And it may seem like just the way I sign off on my comments. But I really mean it. I have so much love in my heart for so very many of you and I just want you to know it. So I will tell you that over and over and over again so that there’s never any question about how I feel.

In closing, finally (right????), know that I do love you guys and I am so very thankful that you are in my life, and that you take the time to show me love means more to me than you could ever possibly know.

May God bless every single one of you and take care of your every need. I love you all so much. If you ever need me, I’m here.

LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and every other happy sentiment I can send you! πŸ™‚ XOXOXOXXO

14 comments on “Even after the year I’ve had… still so much thankfulness

  1. We each have a darkness and a light and many shades of gray that filter in. Illness of any kind really puts us to major tests and we warrior on the best we can. I am thankful to know you and strive to be as loving in all things as you are Jodi.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah Jodi cariad, what your husband forgot to mention was that of course he loves you for he has the one and only real Jodi Ambrose in his life and that means everything. The rest of us just look on in envy for no matter what size you are, you’re still you and still gorgeous.
    Get well soon Jodi
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    Liked by 3 people

    • You’re going to make me cry…in the good way. And I do so love it when you say sweet things to me in another language. It makes me feel all fuzzy.

      Thank you for the love and the support and for being kind about the weight. Thank goodness my face has stayed thin…my ass and everything else? Another story. But, with all that’s happened, I’m just thankful to be alive.

      I’m sure when I was laying in the hospital in organ failure and severely septic, if you’d asked my husband, “Would you be sadder that she was dying if she was thinner?” I’m sure the answer would have been that he didn’t give a flying squirrel how much I weighed. Thank God he understands that I don’t like being trapped in the house and unable to do anything physical. It just is what it is at this point. Once I’m back on my feet, literally, I’ll get back down to a healthier weight and hopefully get back to good overall health. Overall health is the most important thing. The rest is just vanity, anyway.

      Thank you so much for the love, sweet man. You always bring me so much joy and happiness. I’m still not sure what I ever did to deserve your kindness, but I appreciate it and value it more than you could know.

      Much love and tons of hugs to you too, my dear. XOXOXXOXXO

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Jedi. I hope so much that you are feeling better because you are one of my favourite bloggers, and you are gorgeous no matter what. Your hubby knows that and in the video where you reduced him to tears, it shows how much he loves you and you love him. After all – in sickness and in health.

    You concentrate on getting yourself weller again.

    Always happy to see a post by you in my inbox.

    Sending you healing energies and thoughts.

    Like

    • Sweetie, you are one of my favorite people! πŸ™‚ And thanks for being so kind…this ass being as wide as a lorry is killing me (see! I used Brit-speak just for you!).

      I am truly blessed with a husband who loves ME for ME, which is the greatest blessing I’ve ever had. Truly in sickness and health.

      I love it that you remember that video…it always gives me the sniffles when I watch it. Seeing him so moved….it just kill me with joy.

      Much love to you, my friend. As always, you’re in my thoughts. πŸ™‚ XO

      Liked by 1 person

      • You don’t have to say that, but thank you anyway. there are people who are so much better than me in your life πŸ™‚ You are blessed with everyone you have around you.

        That video is one of my favourites. And yay! you used brit-speak lol.

        Take care and heal yourself up Jedi. Focus on you.

        Like

      • You’re wonderful, my dear. I speak only the truth!

        I am blessed with the many people who take care of me, of that I’ll be forever thankful.

        I love that video too. It always makes me smile. I so much more love to give than receive. Not that I didn’t mind the ring…don’t get me wrong. But seeing Grant???? That is something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. Bringing someone joy like that is the most wonderful blessing.

        And I promise that this next year, Jedi will focus on healing. I will dammit! And I will one day fit into my pants again. If it kills me! πŸ˜‰ XOXOXOXOXO

        Liked by 1 person

    • You sure do warm my heart. πŸ™‚ I’m so thankful that I lived this year. I wasn’t so sure I’d make it, but God blessed me and here I am to keep on being a mouthy broad. πŸ˜‰ Much love to you too, my dear friend. You know I adore you. XOXOXOXO

      Like

  4. I saw your post on FB. I know it has been a horrible and shitty year and you will be glad to kiss it’s ass goodbye! Here’s to you on the mend and a Happy New Year!!! 🍸🍷🍹🍻🍢 πŸ˜˜πŸ’–

    Like

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