WARNING!!!!! Rant about to occur!

Hi everyone!

arg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url

I promise I’ll get to all my mushy, sarcastic, holiday fun as Christmas approaches, but I wrote this on Facebook and my sister immediately said that I should post it here too. So I’m a gonna! πŸ˜‰

Love you guys and bear with me and my rant. It’s all from good intentions, even if it is quite mouthy, I swear! πŸ™‚Β  πŸ™‚Β  πŸ™‚

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UPDATE TO MOUTHY RANT BELOW:

Hey everybody. Now I feel bad because I think that my crazed rant the other day was taken the wrong way. Or let me rephrase that, that I did not explain myself well. Trying to write all of that on a stupid tiny little phone, I sometimes leave things out that maybe I shouldn’t.

What I really meant, was not that I don’t love seeing things like, “Ha!” or “Love it!” or “Sending prayers,” or “Happy birthday,” or “You’ll be fine…you’re strong,” and things like that.

Those comments are AWESOME and BEAUTIFUL and I know that I personally am always very thankful for them because it means someone actually stopped, took a moment out of their day and let me know what they were thinking in that moment. That’s precious. I love that.

What I was flipping out about the other day was when somebody is clearly in pain and reaching out for help on Facebook, and someone gives them some condescending platitude that makes it seem like they, the comment writer, are just so much smarter and more enlightened then everybody else. And if the person writing the original post was just better or stronger or understood the world more, then everything be just fine. That I just cannot abide and that is what I was commenting on the other day.

It was a specific post that I was referring to that just set my hair on fire. So please know, that I was in no way, shape or form trying to say that anyone should stifle saying anything on Facebook. You guys know if I’m for anything it’s for free speech. I was more saying that real empathy when somebody needs help is so much better than preaching at them because you think you’ve got The Answers to Everything and you will arrogantly share them with everybody else so we are better people through your enlightened comment.

I’m so very sorry if I came across the wrong way, or left that out, because there’s nothing I love more than having fun with you guys on Facebook. It’s those little connections that help keep us all sane and make us giggle and remind us that we’re loved.

So if anybody took what I was saying wrong or I just did a shity job of explaining myself, I apologize. I meant no disrespect to anybody, with the exception of people who are jerks. They can still bite me.

Love you guys, and I really mean that.

❀❀❀

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PS: If you are wondering what got me to this point, and why I started noticing this kind of stuff and had to post a rant, here’s what I just shared with one of the dearest people in my life that I hadn’t shared with anyone before–she’s a 2nd mom to me.

On the day I nearly died…THE ACTUAL DAY, someone said to me, “You had a stumble, big fucking deal. This will be okay.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

That was the kind of thing I was talking about with platitudes and remarks that are utterly inappropriate. How about something else like maybe, “Oh my God, I’m so happy you are alive.” or something like that?” But to say that awful thing to me as I lay there in organ failure, 90% dead? WTF????

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Original mouthy rant:Β 

So something I’ve noticed over the last few years that has finally started to drive me crazy to the point of wanting to flip out and respond in ways that are impolite and against my sweet nature is the fact that so many people now speak in cliche on Facebook.

It’s as though they’ve read every self-help book in the world and think that they are now the gurus of “How to make your life better,” or “Take control of your life,” or “Don’t let people affect you. Your reactions are YOUR reactions and you own them.”

First off, duh. Secondly, don’t fucking preach at me, or anyone else for that matter.

We all have our own lives. Our own experiences. Our own pain. Our own joy. Our own fears. Everyone is shaped differently due to the experiences that they’ve had in their lives. Therefore, people tend to react differently in the same situation. Now this sounds like ME being all preachy, but what it really is, is me just trying to explain that having someone tell you that, “No one can make you mad, only you can allow yourself to feel anger,” makes me want to punch a fucking wall.

Because while that is a great sentiment, and true in many ways in that we choose how we respond to external stimuli, if someone punches me I’m going to be fucking mad and I’m going to want to punch them back in the fucking head…with a hammer.

So yes, I could say to myself, “They just punched me. WTF??? But I am in charge of my response. Maybe they punched me for a good reason? Maybe they had no reason for punching me. But don’t allow them punching me to make me mad because anger gives THEM the power and I have a choice of whether or not to give them power. Choose not to.”

Give me strength. Good Lord. Possibly only Gandhi and/or Mother Teresa would respond that way. Having natural responses to external stimuli is one of the most natural things in the world. And it’s okay to react.

Now, do I suggest reacting in a calm way? Yes. The madder I get, the calmer I get (believe it or not!). I have found that this works best for me. Especially because I’m always so bonkers and giggly and sarcastic and tend to let most shit slide because in the end who really cares about most of the spilled milk, but when I’m really, really fucking pissed, I tend to become very quiet, very introspective, and think very hard about what I’m going to say so that I don’t regret anything that comes out of my mouth.

That is how I take control of how I react to external stimuli. That doesn’t mean that anybody else has to do it that way. But it works for me. But to say that I’m not allowed to have my gut, raw reactions to other people’s behavior is ridiculous and insulting and quite frankly stupid as fuck.

I’ve also noticed that while many, many of us have been through just absolute nightmares the last year, that some people feel empathy for others and for the pain they’re going through, but other people feel like they own what pain is and that only they are the experts on how to deal with it. That is such a bunch of shit.

I tell my dear friends at work, when they aren’t feeling well, how much I hope they feel better and that I’m praying for them. And almost all of them tell me that it’s ridiculous for them to even complain about their aches and pains because look at what I’ve been through this year. And I tell them that just because I’ve been through pain doesn’t lessen their pain. It doesn’t make their migraine go away. It doesn’t help them go into remission from cancer. It doesn’t help their knee that is in constant pain or their back that hurts like a fucker all the time. Just because I’ve been through the wringer, doesn’t mean that I own what pain is and that no one else could ever understand. That’s ridiculous and quite self involved.

So, you’ll have to forgive me for my rant. And I know I may have even gotten off track a bit. But I’m just so exhausted by this inauthentic, non-genuine truckload of responses that I constantly see on Facebook. It’s so annoying. Be your real self. That’s all any of us want from our friends. I don’t want anyone to be fake with me. If you think I’m an asshole, tell me I’m an asshole and unfriend me.

I much prefer honesty to anything else. Anyone who’s ever read any of my posts knows that I say it like it is, whether it’s pleasant or not. And I’m not telling anybody else that you need to write your posts like I write mine. Again, we are all individuals and we choose to communicate in the ways that we want. But at the same time, if I read one more cliched piece of shit that says nothing, is an excuse for real emotion, is condescending or patronizing, or is used as a weapon to make somebody feel as though their emotions don’t have the value that they actually do have, I’m going to freak the fuck out.

I love you guys all so very much and that’s why I just let it all hang out. Good, bad and ugly, you guys see every side of me. Now, for a lot of people I know that is hard to do. And I’m certainly not telling you that you should. But please, when someone is angry about something or hurt by something or scared about something, please give them the consideration, respect, compassion and love they deserve by responding to them in an authentic way that lets them know how you really feel. Quoting a fucking bumper sticker isn’t going to help anybody unless the bumper sticker says, “Fuck ’em all, you’ll get through this.” Then at least they might laugh.

Again, sorry for the rant. But I read something on someone else’s page this morning that just pushed me over the edge and I had to comment on these way-too-common, cliched, self-help, lazy, bullshit responses that I now see so often on FB. This person’s comment just happened to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. But that camel has been really fucking tired for a long time, so it didn’t take much.

Love you guys, even if it doesn’t sound like it during this rant, I do. I just want us all to live in a place where our opinions are valued, even if they’re disagreed with. Where our hopes and dreams can be supported by those that love us. Where our fear and our anger can be dissipated by the love and support of our friends.

I don’t want to live in a world of fake shit. I want to live in a world of truth and love and kindness and a good kick in the ass sometimes if it’s needed.

I hope everybody has a wonderful, relaxing, healthy, happy weekend. We’ve all earned it. Thanks for putting up with my mouthiness. I know I go on with my crazy verbal vomit sometimes and I love that you guys put up with me. Hugs!

16 comments on “WARNING!!!!! Rant about to occur!

  1. Cliches are the worst. My pastor did a sermon just a couple of weeks ago about what “Christians” say to each other during times of fear, doubt, strife and grief. He had Googled Christian platitudes and I had seen every one he had listed. I had even used a couple of them but when he talked about why they were wrong, it really opened my eyes.
    Some cliches will make me down right violent.
    I agree with your rant 100%! I just ignore stuff on FB if it doesn’t apply to me. I know you are upset and I don’t blame you. What helps me is trying to remember the motive behind the words. Sometimes people are just stupid but the mean well… πŸ™„

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s amazing that your pastor did a sermon about that just recently. That’s wild and quite coincidental. And the thing is, we all use them. I know I do too.

      What gets me is when they are condescending, patronizing or holier than thou. I love sweet things like, “Praying for you,” or “Have a great birthday,” because it means a great deal to me that someone would even take the time to acknowledge me and type something. Those kinds of things are sweet and lovely.

      What chafes my ass is when someone completely discounts someone else’s feelings, thoughts, emotions, fears, anger with some bullshit platitude where they are trying to show how much more self-aware and evolved they are then the rest of us mere humans. That’s what burns my butt and what set me off this morning. Someone left a comment so self-serving, unintelligent, uninformed and condescending that I wanted to shake them til their hair fell out.

      They weren’t offering sage wisdom. Or support. Or love. Or encouragement. They were being an asshat who knows every damn thing on earth and was trying to make sure this other person knew it too. Even though they couldn’t have been more wrong.

      It totally just hit me wrong. And I’ve had a bit much of that myself this year too, so I was primed and ready. 99.9% of everyone have been so lovely to me it just makes me all blubbery and blessed and thankful to God. I would never have survived this year without the prayers, support and love of my friends. But, occasionally, I’d get the “Just get over it already,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way, feel the way I tell you to,” shit. It made me insane.

      So yeah, I snapped a little this morning but I couldn’t help it! I’M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY INSANITY!!! πŸ˜‰

      Love you girlie. And you are very right…intention is so much of everything. Keeping that in mind is always wise and will help keep me kind and understanding. Which is a lovely thing. XOXOXXOOXOXOXXOXO

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahhh, Jodi love, you’re coming back to us in style. There’s nothing we love more than opening our e-mail on Saturday and seeing “Jodi Ambrose”, and “Rant” in the subject line.
    My momma got up from her computer, got a cup of tea, and sat down with a contented sigh. She was now ready to sit for a minute and enjoy some really good shit!!
    And when Momma’s happy, well, you know the rest.
    We love you and your sassy mouth! And we’ve missed you.
    Next time you need to take on the world, you darned well better let us all in on it.
    KICK SOME ASS, JODI. NO WORRIES, WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK!
    Sincerely sending our love and hopes for your continued healing.
    Love you much, you beautiful woman,
    Lotsa licks,
    Rambo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now I wanna fly over to wherever you are and hug both you and your momma til you’re all squished!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      I got a little bit of flack for my rant, so I just posted a clarifying update that I hope will help better explain my thought process. But I’m so happy that you and Momma enjoyed it. I’ve missed everyone so much this year. I can’t wait until I’m full-time back to my happy, silly, sarcastic, mouthy, sassy self! πŸ™‚

      Thank you for the love and sweetness. It truly does mean the world to me!

      My bunnies send many licks back! XOXOXOXOXOXXOXXOXOXXO

      Like

  3. Jodi, that’s a GREAT rant!

    So let’s see, what can I say that’s appropriate…”Own your own truth!” “Be your best self!” “Jodi can’t make you mad, only you can make you mad!!” (Insert large “inspiring” photo of scenery, with or without soaring bird, above preferred cliche)

    Liked by 1 person

    • HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

      I just belly laughed so hard that one of my bunnies jumped 3 feet in the air out of sheer shock and terror! πŸ˜‰ I know that shouldn’t be funny, but it was great. Nothing like laughing so hard you scare your animals. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      The scenery idea was the clincher. Absolute perfection!
      Fucking condescending owl! ;)

      Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll happily kick her butt if you’d like me to. Verbally of course. I still can’t quite walk right. But I have a lashing tongue! πŸ˜‰

      Sorry you have to go through that. It sucks. People have no clue what others go through, so just be supportive, asshat. No one needs your GREAT WISDOM. Don’t get me wrong though…for people that do get it, I love it when they share with me how they got through something or give me suggestions for how to overcome something. That is born from kindness and love. But don’t tell me that if I were stronger, smarter, more this that or the other that I could be happier, healthier or in less pain. THAT shit makes me head explode.

      It’s not that I WANT to feel like this, which is pretty much like shit every day. It’s that I just do. Ugh.

      I’m sorry you have to have any pain and that you have to put up with that from your sister-in-law.

      Know I’m sending you happy, healthy vibes and prayers. Love you!!! XOXOXOXOXXOXOXO

      Like

  4. Awesome rant sweetie! We all handle pain differently, there is no one fix all so the condescending comments or cliche’s can be stuffed up their butts! tee hee! Merry Christmas my sweet friend! Was happy to see your post! Hugz Lisa

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi there, lovely! Thank you! πŸ™‚ I know I accidentally pissed a few people off, which I really didn’t mean to do, hence the “Update” and “PS”.

      I love the idea of stuffing condescending comments and cliches up people’s butts. I’m in line right behind you (no pun intended as I’m fond of your tookus!) .

      Merry Christmas to you, my love! Tons of hugs! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I think that you’re original rant was worded just fine, for me at least but the update did help.
    The one that I hate seeing is, “this worked for me/I did it this way and it’s no big deal, so you should be able to also!”
    I’ve seen my neice experience this while reaching out on FB about her depression and anxiety. There was a point where she could barely get out of bed and talked about how gross her hair was. Someone commented something along the lines of, “Just make yourelf get into the shower. I’ve had depression and I was able to do it. You just got to make yourself.”
    I instantly wanted to beat that person over the head. Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, doll. πŸ™‚ Glad the update helped make it more clear. πŸ™‚

      And I totally agree with you. I don’t mind suggestions and such, but, for example, last night an old friend of mine was posting about how he’d been having a panic attack for HOURS. First off, kill me. But secondly, he really needed serious help and advice. And most of us, who’d experienced them before, shared with him how we try and stop the seemingless endless misery and that taking and Ativan or Valium is typically recommended–even by shrinks. None of us responding were drug addicts.

      But this one holier-than-thou guy (or asshat fucker if I said what I was really thinking) said, “Meditation before medication, bro.” Ugh. Yeah, yeah, meditation is great. But if you are in the throws of a “I wish I was dead, God please kill me,” panic attack, then can we all just provide GOOD SUGGESTIONS for how to help it subside instead of preaching your philosophy about meditation over medication? I’d have smacked him had he been in front of me. Your preaching helps no one, jerk face!

      Now, in all sincerity, I’m not a fan of taking meds. I try lots of other things than meds to help what ails me, BUT…if someone needs immediate help and meds will help, then SHUT UP WITH YOUR MEDICINE-SHAMING SELF and give the guy REAL help.

      That’s the kind of thing that makes me insane. Please don’t preach a motivational poster at someone who’s in dire need. Either give them advice that is actually helpful, offer love and support, or shut the fuck up. I wanted to punch that guy. So not helpful.

      It sounds like your niece has dealt with the same bullshit. It’s soooooooooooooo annoying! Glad I’m not the only person that wants to beat people about the head and shoulders with a hard object! πŸ˜‰ And I’m sorry your niece has to deal with that. I’ve had a lot of depression since the surgery went haywire in January and actually use dry shampoo sometimes because the thought of washing my hair overwhelms me. You can tell her that I totally get it. And if she’s worried about her hair being gross…definitely turn her on to dry shampoo. It’s saved me and probably helped my hubby from wanting to throw up looking at my greasy mop! πŸ˜‰

      Thanks for understanding and I hope that you and your family have the most WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON EVER!!! Much love! XOXOXXOXO

      Like

  6. Can I bite you? hahaha

    In seriousness though, Jedi, I know some people want to say that things are going to be okay, but how it is said can be all wrong. “you had a stumble, deal with it” That wasn’t a stumble. That was a full-on faceplant into electrically charged razorwire. I am so glad you came out of it the other side, admittedly bruised and damaged, but the repairs are underway (all those little nanites running around inside you singing β™«we will fix it, we will mend it, we will make it shiny newβ™ͺ) I know it’s a long journey to recovery, but I have faith you will get there.

    Some people just don’t think before flapping their gums or caressing their keyboard.

    Well said on that. You are doing really well, and I hope this Christmas is better than last – and there had better be videos again lol.

    Recover quickly. Get your sassiness back soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m totally a biter, so I get it. πŸ™‚

      Yeah, that whole “stumble” thing…it still breaks my heart when I think of it. It just kills me. I was literally dying and a friend of over 30 years says that to me? How just horrible and invalidating and cruel. I’m still not over her comment. I’ve forgiven her asshole remark, but it’s hard to forget it.

      Thanks for the faith and sweetness that I’ll recuperate fully. I thought I’d be done with doctor appointments at the end of November, but I have FIVE just this week!!!! WTF??? Right now, I think they’ll probably keep running through February. Lord have mercy. I might seriously go insane. I’ve been having panic attacks, complete meltdowns and worse insomnia that usual. Plus all the CONSTANT FUCKING physical pain on a daily basis. But, like you, I have faith! One day I’ll feel normal again. I just have to pray, be patient, and work hard, but I’ll get there. DAMMIT! πŸ˜‰

      Now, as for Christmas videos…I scaled back a bunch this year. I just didn’t have the physical or emotional wherewithal to go bananas like I usually do (though I did get the hubby some seriously kick ass stuff!). Nothing that’ll make him weep like last year though. I’m totally going to go back and watch that video when I’m done here. It makes my heart so warm to see him like that. He is truly the love of my life. Now, if I could just stop being his patient and be his wife again, that’d be great. Plus, my arse is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking big now–that shit is NOT going on video. I’m not super vain (especially after this last year) but God knows I never want to see this shit on video later in life. I look like I haven’t slept in a year, have to wear fake hair and turn sideways to walk through a doorway so I’ll fit. Okay, it’s not THAT bad, but seriously, my ass…good good. Baby got back…and back…and back…and back. Lordy! πŸ˜‰

      Just in case you can’t tell, I’ve missed you. And I’m going to do my best to get my sassiness back. It’s been more caustic and acidic than sassy lately and I MUST RETURN to my sass-mouthed self. That’s the “me” I like, so it has to happen.

      I hope, my darling friend, that you and your family have an AMAZING Christmas and holiday season. You deserve all the joy in the world and I hope 2018 brings it right to your doorstep.

      MUCH LOVE!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

      Like

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