Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, etc… :)

Hi everyone!

Yeah, I know. It’s been forever. There are behind the scenes reasons for my absence, but I wanted to reach out this holiday season and let all of you know that I hope you are doing well, enjoying the festivities and have the best 2017 imaginable!

My sissy and her hubby came out for Christmas this year and her husband and my husband finally met after 9 years. Holy moly! So it was the 4 of us, plus Mommy. It was such a wonderful day and I’m still full from all the naughty food I ate!

Here’s a little glimpse into the massive love we had this year.

 

May you all have the most wonderful week and know I’m sending tons of love!!! XOXOXOXO

 

Alright Stop! Critter Time!

Hello, my lovely friends.

I’ve missed you guys. I swear my day job is trying to kill me. Damn needing-a-paycheck, not-independently-wealthy person that I am, I just can’t bear to look at a computer after the day ends.

But, I did take a little time to download some pics from the camera to show you some of the AMAZING critters the hubby and I saw when we were at the San Diego Zoo and Bearizona. I quite literally have about 3000 pictures to go through (someone please kill me), so there will be more down the road.

I hope you love the furries! XOXOXO

First, the San Diego Zoo.

Tongue-sticky-outty Panda!

Panda San Diego Zoo, October 2015

I likes ta play the drums in my spare time.
Panda San Diego Zoo, October 2015 a

Here’s a little Panda video for your viewing pleasure. Nom nom nom! 🙂

Oh, and for the most part, whenever you see the camera shake, it’s because I was being assaulted by ants! Little biting bastards!

 

We did a special behind-the-scenes tour at the Zoo and were able to go into the animals’ habitats…hence the close up pictures with no cages or fences in the way. 🙂

Can I help you, ma’am? Quit starin’ at me!

Polar Bear San Diego Zoo, October 2015

Yeah, that’s MY woman. Back off or I’ll maul your ass!

Polar Bear San Diego Zoo, October 2015 a

And now to Bearizona!

Mr. Bear was about 3 feet away from our car. Of course, being the rule-breaking mo fo that I am, I had the window down. How’s he supposed to hear me talking to him with the window up? 😉

Bear

Owlie-kins was awesome! Last time we met him, he hooked his claws into my hair. Totally kick ass!

Owlie

Owlie

I love me some kitties! I love me some kitties!

Lynx

Okay, so it’s a little blurry. But he’s yawning!

Lynx

We’re just sleepin’, mama. Leave us alone!

Wolfie

Seriously, this wolf was 2 feet from us. And yes, again, the window was down. I was glad they didn’t throw us out!

Wolfie

Last but not least, here a few of the hubby and me enjoying our mini-vacations. 🙂

I can think of few things better than being mauled by a million speckle-butted deer!

Jodi at the Deer Farm, Williams AZ October 2105

Who doesn’t love feeding an Okapi?

Grant and Okapi San Diego Zoo, October 2015

My baby and me at Mission Beach, California. His only goal for the weekend was to walk on the beach at sunset with me. I sometimes think he truly was grown in a pod just for me. 🙂

Grant and Jodi at Mission Bay, California October 2015

Grant and Jodi at Mission Bay, California October 2015 a

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Hearts

…the mice will play (and rant!)!

I know, I’ve been gone forever!!

I did not die, I promise.

I’ve pondered murder once or twice though. 😉

I hope everyone is doing beautifully and gearing up for a fabulous summer. I intend on spending mine in my air conditioned house as it’s too damn hot outside.

Okay, so while I’ve been toiling away at the day job 15 hours a day (which greatly prohibits me from enjoying myself in my real life, dammit!) I’ve come across some shit I just have to share. I’m going to try to keep it to a list form so it’s not a tome, but you guys know I can go on and on and on… 😉

1. McDonalds: KEEP YOUR FILTHY FUCKIN’ HANDS OFF MY DESSERT!!!

So, I only eat McDonald’s about twice a year cause that shit’ll kill you, but I do occasionally swing by to get a kiddie-sized cone. They’re super adorable, 45 calories and just enough to quench my craving. (Side note: once I type something incorrectly it takes me 15 tries to get it right. I had to type the word “enough” literally about 9 times before typing it correctly. Blasted non-working appendages!) Okay, so back to McD’s.

I went to the one in the Wallymart and ordered a kiddie cone. The young man who goes to make it was, and I kid you not, just emptying the trash. So, he grabs the cone with his filth covered, un-gloved mitts and puts the ice cream in it. THEN he sets it down on the freaking counter that people sneeze, cough and set their children’s grubby butts on. Why didn’t he just wipe his ass with it and then hand it to me?

So, I look at the girl behind the counter and say, “I’m totally not a germaphobe. I’ll eat stuff that’s been on my kitchen floor for 3 days. But would you mind making me a kiddie cone since you weren’t just emptying the trash? And would you mind not setting it on the counter?” She smiles, seemingly genuinely, and says sure.

On her way to grab the cone she sneezes wildly. Of course. But in an effort to not dirty her hands she doesn’t cover her nose and mouth, so great mists of snot just go EVERYWHERE! You can see the mist glittering in the overhead light. And what do you think she sneezed on besides half the country? Yep. All of the unwrapped kiddie cones.

Does this deter her? Nope. She picks up a snot covered nightmare, fills it with ice cream, doesn’t even consider wearing gloves or holding the now-wet cone with a napkin, and hands it to me and says, “I totally understand. I wouldn’t want to eat anything off that counter either.”

Can we all just say it together? Fuck me. No cone for Jodi today!

2. People in General: IF YOU DON’T FUCKIN’ KNOW WHAT A PSYCHOLOGICAL TERM ACTUALLY MEANS, DON’T FUCKIN’ USE IT!

I’m lucky enough to have to interact with an asshat (“enough” only took 7 tries this time!) on a daily basis. This person makes me wanna pull my eyes out of my head, then slam my blind noggin into plate glass because the pain of that is far less than putting up with their dumb ass. It’s like interacting with a narcissistic monkey trained to torment me to the point of self-mutilation.

Somehow, I typically get to be the lucky recipient of the preponderance of this person’s shit. And the other day, while whining like a small child who didn’t get a second cookie before dinner, this person tells me that I’m passive aggressive. HA! Now, I gotta tell you…I’ve been called a lot of things in life (luckily, most of them have not been unkind) but passive aggressive? Have you guys ever known me to be passive aggressive? Aggressive? Sure. I’m no wilting flower. But passive aggressive?

Passive aggressive is the mother-in-law who, while dragging her white-gloved finger across the top of your door frame, looks at you with a big smile and says, “Oh, how lovely. You found the time after all that shopping you do to clean the house. What a good wife you are to my son.” Of course, you wanna kill the bitch, but she says it so sweetly–even though you and I (and she) know it’s layered with a million small cuts that will eventually be the end of you.

So, for all the asshats out there with which I am forced to deal, here are a few definitions of passive aggressive. If you’re going to insult me, at least get it right.

  • Of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.
  • Being marked by or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness).
  • Behavior that is exhibited by a person who is dissatisfied, uncooperative or unhappy but who doesn’t want to be overtly mean or rude. Instead, the person behaves in a subtly contrary way.

So, now that we’ve seen it in black and white, how on God’s green earth does this describe me?

My guess is that this person tried to figure out something to say that they hoped would be insulting to me while making them seem intelligent and abused by mean old me. Hmmmmm…you’re talking to the wrong person, buddy. What a fucknut.

3: Teddy bears (which should be ONE WORD, dammit!) are the most awesome thing on earth.

I have made it my mission to buy every 1987 Gund Daisy Cow teddy bear I can find. I have 7 of them.

Yes, I’m quite certain that makes me insane, or very close to it.

I’m sure I probably need some sort of medication. But I love those damn things so much! And I want to rescue them from homes that no longer want them. Who would SELL a teddy bear? That’s jacked up. But, I’m lucky people do cause I snatch ’em up. And there’s nothing really wrong with selling a teddy. I just can’t bear to let any of them escape me and my clutches! 😉

4: I’m totally happy for and supportive of Bruce Jenner–you do your thing and have a joyful life…but…

In his interview with Diane Sawyer he’s essentially asking people to accept him for who he is, not judge, and understand that everyone is different and that that’s not just okay but should be celebrated. I could not agree more. You guys know I don’t care about anyone’s religion, race, sexuality (but leave the sheep alone please…they can’t consent! 😉 ). I truly believe people should be encouraged to be who they are and achieve all the joy they can get out of a pretty tough world. Acceptance of other people is one of the single greatest gifts you can give to yourself and everyone else on the planet. (Okay, getting off my soapbox!) 🙂

BUT! If you are going to ask for people to be non-judgmental, then maybe you should practice what you preach. There was a scene where he was talking about beating the Russian in the Olympics and he mentions that he ran into the same Russian 30 or so years later. Then he laughs and brings up how the Russian had gotten fat, so he (Bruce) won twice because he’s still in great shape.

Ummm…so not cool. You can judge people for being in their 60s and being overweight–we aren’t supposed to look 20 forever!–but you want no one to judge you? How about you start with kindness towards others first?

I was very disappointed. But I still hope he finds great joy, love and a tremendous amount of support.

5. Jamie Dornan is NOT MY CHRISTIAN GREY!!!! 😉

I know. Shut up! Not a good movie. But I had to. It was like the Twilight books. Had to read them. Had to watch the movies, even though I, honest to God, laughed my ass off throughout the entire first movie. It looked like they’d just hosed the vamps down with baby powder. Truly funny. Anyway, there’s no accounting for my taste and I make no excuses! Sometimes a girl has to step away from Dante and read some juicy shit.

But, why couldn’t Jax from Sons of Anarchy have stayed cast as Mr. Grey? He didn’t exactly fit the mold either, but damn…that would have made the movie more tolerable. Jax is kinda pretty, ya know. And while I rarely comment on the prettiness of another man out of respect to the hubby, I think they look a little bit alike, so I don’t think I should feel bad for commenting on Jax’s hotness. 😉

 

I will say this about the movie…in one scene he says to the girl something to the effect of, “I’d like to fuck you into the middle of next week.”

Uhhhh…mmmm…yeah. That’s a good thing to say. I think any man with a willing woman should go say that to her right now. Total yum! Lust is very underrated. 😉 Quit reading this and go bang your hot woman!

Okay, I’ve typed my fingers bloody. Must go watch some TV and let the brain relax.

Love you guys and I hope you all have a wonderful (and long if you are in the States) weekend.

HUGS!! XOXOXOXO

PS: Wednesday morning at 4:35 am I awoke to the sound of my kitty horking up a hair ball. Then one minute later woke up further to the cold, wet spew of her vomit in my hair, on my neck and running down my cleavage. So, if you see me on Cops being arrested for kitty-i-cide, you now know why. 😉

Amazing Kindness

Sometimes people do things that are so thoughtful and kind that it just blows my mind.

I’ve been the blessed recipient of kindness like this and I’m so very thankful.

After a post of mine a few months ago where I was talking about my Pink Teddy, the wonderful, sweet and talented Lisa at blondiesBEARista made for me the most adorable gift and then made the gift a big sister too!

LOOK AT MY NEW, WONDERFUL AND ADORABLE PINK TEDDIES!

Are they not the most precious things you’ve ever seen???

I mentioned that as much as I love teddies, I’d never received one that was homemade.

Well, Lisa took care of that! And I got TWO!

SONY DSC

Look at their adorable and happy faces. their little scarves and bonnets. I just wanna eat ’em up!

I told Lisa that they’ll be drool colored within a year, but that’ll just go to show how much love they’ll be getting.

Lisa, dear friend, you made my heart melt with your kindness and love. That you would do something so special and above-and-beyond for me leaves me almost without words (and we all know how hard that is to accomplish!). Every time I look at them it just fills me with joy. To know you would take the time (and the money as I’m sure the materials and shipping weren’t cheap) to do something so precious means more to me than I could ever fully articulate.

Just know, sweet girl, that these two teddies will receive tons of love and always be looked upon with a smile and an overflowing heart.

Thank you, so very much, for giving me two new little buddies and making me feel loved. You are truly one of a kind.

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Soooooooooooooo Sad

My little Tick Teddy has gone missing.

Tick teddy being eaten by crabs Ocean City, Maryland May 2013

Tick Teddy being ravaged by crabs in OC, Maryland. I always told him hanging out with a bad crowd would give him crabs!

The Hubby took him to San Diego for a business trip and he must have somehow got caught up in the bed linens and carted off.

Grant’s been in communication with the hotel every day for the last week and no one can find the little guy.

Any prayers you have that the hotel or their laundry service can find him would be so very appreciated.

Grant sending me Tick Teddy Love from Florida

The Tick sending Mommy love letters all the way from Florida.

I know I sound like a nut, but I’ve had that little guy for over 20 years and he is one of my very favorite critters.

He travels all over the country with both Grant and me and we are just so sad that no one can find him.

We even offered a reward to any hotel staff that can find him.

Please send critter-finding-vibes and prayers. My heart is just broken and the hubby is so sad.

Tick teddy loving the cannoli Ocean City, Maryland may 2013

I likes the cannoli! What can I say?

Thanks guys…