Truth 9: GET OFF THE DAMN ROAD (a rant, believe it or not…)

 

I’m guessing the topic of this rant is no surprise to anyone as I’ve blogged (in written form) about this before.

Now you get to see it up close and personal. The last minute of this video just seals the deal–unbelievable shit. Thank God I can laugh at asshat people. 😉

 

As always, love you guys!

Take care of yourselves.

Oh, and don’t drive like a buttmunch!

 

Suicide Prevention: PREVENT IT NOW, DAMN IT ALL

There’s been too much death around me.

People have got to seek help if suicidal.

Please, please, I beg of you, get help when you need it.

No more death…

1-800-273-8255

 

God bless you all and keep you safe.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY DARLING FRIENDS (and Happy Holidays!)

I discovered the most amazing blessing today and I wanted to share it with you guys.

I started going through all of my Facebook posts and blog posts from this year and I noticed all the people who had left beautiful, supportive and loving comments for my family and me.

And because of those comments I started writing up a post that specifically mentioned a bunch of people who had been particularly wonderful to me this year. What I realized, and what the true blessing is, is that the list was so long that it would take me 15 hours to write it.

What an amazing gift to be given by your friends.

My intention had been to name each of you, one by one, and thank you very specifically for the help or love or encouragement or support that you had given me. But the list was, quite frankly, a bit daunting. Because of that long list, I’ve never been happier.

That God has blessed me with friends who come out in such a strong force to keep me encouraged and out of a depressive hole of blackness is quite amazing to me.

It’s very important for me to let you guys know, that every smiley-face, every heart, every hands held together in prayer, every snarky or sarcastic comment, every lovely and supportive comment, every comment telling me that I was going to kick ass, every precious thought, emoji, gif, picture, you name it… has meant the world to me and lifted me up when I really needed it.

While I wish I had those 15 hours to name every one of you specifically and just how you helped me right when I needed it, I hope that this note will suffice because without the loving support, or the super-funny laughs, or the occasional ass kicking, I know without hesitation I could not have made it through this year. Your love and your prayers supported me and gave me more strength that I knew I had.

So let me end by saying this: When I say love you in a comment or a post, I mean it with my heart. When I say thank you, I mean it with everything I have. When I call you sweetie or doll or darling it’s because that’s how I’m truly feeling in that moment. When I send you hugs it’s because I really wish that I could hug you.

You all have made this year, which could have been my last, more beautiful for my heart than I ever could have dreamt. That’s the best gift of all. If I got coal in my stocking and a note from Santa that said, “Fuck you,” that would be okay at this point because all of you have given me a gift everyday and sometimes even more than once a day.

Know this, I love you guys and you are always in my prayers. Regardless of what you are celebrating this holiday season may you be blessed with joy and love throughout every moment of it.

With all of my heart…

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Even after the year I’ve had… still so much thankfulness

 

I originally posted this on Facebook, but a friend suggested I put it here too since I have the most wonderful blogging family EVER!!!! 🙂 I totally agreed, as I love you guys to no end. So, here goes. 🙂

______________________________________________________________

I know it’s past Thanksgiving, but I’ve never really followed the rules for anything anyway. I have some things I want to let everybody know that I’m thankful for, and so much of it has to do with all of you.

I am so very deeply thankful for all of the love, kindness and support my friends here have shown me. It’s so easy for social media to be a place filled with nothing but political banter, disagreements, and or superficial–but very often still funny–types of things.

What I have found this year is it is also a place filled with love and prayers and people who come out of the woodwork to truly let you know that they love you and only want the best for you. That has meant more to me than I can ever begin to express.

I am also incredibly thankful that I’ve been able to return that love to so many of my friends that are having a very rough time of it lately. Whether you’re in emotional pain, physical pain, or both (which is likely the case), being able to let you know that I love you and that I truly am here for you brings me great peace. From the bottom of my heart I mean it when I tell people that they can call me and just cry for an hour, or just sit in silence for an hour knowing someone is on the other end of the phone if they do decide to talk. Hell, I’ll watch a TV show with you over the phone. Or you can just scream and yell cuss words at me until you can’t utter another word because your throat is sore. I truly mean with every fiber of my being that those of you who are going through hard times can call me and do any of those things.

It may have been many years since I’ve seen a lot of you, and we may not have even been close in high school or at a job or wherever it is that we met. Heck, we may not have actually ever met in person, but we’re here now, together, and to me that is what matters.

I’m also so very thankful to my family for supporting me through the last 10 and a half months. That my husband tells me I’m beautiful, even though I’ve lost 75% of my hair and gained a shit ton of weight from not being able to do anything, including walking, for almost a year just blows my mind. And the anazing thing is, I believe him. To know that the man you’ve chosen to spend your life with truly cherishes you is the best gift anyone can ever give or receive. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he’d be thrilled if I lost 40 lbs, and I know he’ll be happy for me when my hair grows back in, but in the meantime he does nothing but support me and lets me know that he loves me regardless of any of that superficial bullshit. That’s such a gift and I can never express my gratitude enough for loving a man who loves me for me, not for me as arm candy, or a bank account, or any of the other reasons so many men have been with me over the years. He loves me. I will forever be thankful for that.

And for those of you who grew up with me and my sister, the very beautiful and loving Becky, you’ll know that she and I had our ups and downs as we grew up. It’s hard being so close in age when you’re a teenager and then your twenties and unfortunately tend to attract and be attracted to the same types of men. God knows it caused a verbal cat fight more than once. But my precious, angelic sister has truly become my best friend. She lets me call her anytime night or day and never makes me feel like a burden.

When Becky was here taking care of me after surgery, she was the most amazing medical advocate for me. She took no shit off anybody and made sure I got the best care possible. When you’re as fucked up as I’ve been, you need somebody strong to have your back. And Becky was that. She never made me feel embarrassed for the hideous things she had to see and do. God bless her for that. She can never unsee the things she had to deal with and yet she’s never made me feel bad or humiliated. She just took it all in stride and made sure that I knew that she loved me and she would do anything for me. That kind of love is simply amazing and I’m so truly blessed for all of that.

While I still have a long way to go to get back to normal, and it may still be a few years before I have enough emotional energy to be a truly good friend in the way that I like to be, what I’m thankful for is that the people who love me understand that I don’t hibernate because I don’t love them or don’t want to talk to them. I don’t hibernate to avoid being a good friend. If 95% of you called me tomorrow and told me you needed me to be on a plane to come take care of you, I would be on that plane. But what is such a beautiful thing is that the people who know me understand that my keeping to myself is me just licking my wounds and trying to heal my brain, my heart, and my body. Plus they say it takes about 3 years, if ever, to feel normal again after severe sepsis, so thank God everyone seems to understand that me not leaving the house to go party has nothing to do with not wanting to see my beautiful friends. It just has to do with me taking time to heal so that when I am back on my feet I’m going to kick ass from here to Maryland and back… Taking no prisoners!

I do realize I should have probably just written a fucking book as this is about the length of one, but it’s 4:32 in the damn morning and I felt like telling everybody how deeply, deeply thankful I am for all of you.

I know I often say things in my comments like “much love,” or “tons of hugs,” or “XOXOXOXO.” And it may seem like just the way I sign off on my comments. But I really mean it. I have so much love in my heart for so very many of you and I just want you to know it. So I will tell you that over and over and over again so that there’s never any question about how I feel.

In closing, finally (right????), know that I do love you guys and I am so very thankful that you are in my life, and that you take the time to show me love means more to me than you could ever possibly know.

May God bless every single one of you and take care of your every need. I love you all so much. If you ever need me, I’m here.

LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and every other happy sentiment I can send you! 🙂 XOXOXOXXO

The path to happiness… :)

My dear friend Joel suggested that I post this on my blog and not just on my FB page, and a wise woman always listens to Joel. 🙂

I was telling a few close friends a story of betrayal the other day and how, when over a decade later, this person reached out and apologized I told that person that I’d forgiven them years ago. This person was shocked and thankful for the forgiveness and didn’t understand how I could have had forgiveness in my heart many years before any apology came.

I told them that while forgiveness is a beautiful gift to give to others, it is equally as beautiful a gift to give yourself.

It frees you.
It helps you persevere. 
It keeps your heart open.
It allows you to move forward, not remain stuck in the mire.
It gives comfort both to you and the person you forgive.

Forgiveness in your everyday life is something to cherish and be thankful for.

Learn from those betrayals.
Understand how those betrayals, in some way, taught you something that will give you wisdom down the road.
But also forgive them.

The person who suffers most by not allowing forgiveness to fill their heart, is the person who is unable to forgive.

Free yourself from the past; forgive, love, giggle and do your best to spread kindness.

That is a life worth living.

And I must tell you…as a side note, it makes for such a happier life. My mom always told me to pray not only for those you love, but those that cause you pain; for if that person can heal, then their little piece of the world will be a better piece and possibly spread joy to others as well. It was sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but she was right and I still pray for the nasty bitch that ruined my life over 25 years ago (just kidding…I no longer carry that anger–just said that in classic Jodi style). Her happiness affects those around her, so I want her to be happy. Even if she TOTALLY TRIED TO DESTROY MY LIFE. No bitterness…honestly. I’m just being a smart ass. I forgave her decades ago and it took the weight of the world off my shoulders. It was a huge blessing to my own heart and I’m thankful every day that I let it go. (Do NOT start singing “Let it Go” from Frozen or I will hunt you down!)

Anyway, much love, as always. XOXOXO