Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Fuck no! ;)

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Yes, yes…I know. I’ve been gone forever. I have no good excuse (but I’m gonna give you several!) except that I needed a break.

EXCUSE 1: Sex? What’s sex?

Between twitter, FB and the 10 other sites I manage, I just had to put my foot down and realize that the hubby needed more sex from me! Too much time on the computer is not good.

KIDDING!!! He was still gettin’ it good. But I felt like I was only giving him one ear in the evenings cause my brain was in my computer all the time. That is a no-no.

EXCUSE 2: All work and no play make Jodi a raving lunatic.

The day job is killing me! I average about 65 hours a week doing nothing but using my brain to the best of its ability. My job isn’t one where you get a little brain downtime. It’s non-stop, all day long, until I run out of the house tearing out my hair and begging for the neighbors to shoot me. I thought it would have settled down by now, but not yet. Alas, the thought of even looking at a computer once the work day is over makes me rather ill.

EXCUSE 3: That mother fuckin’ Atkins diet about put me in the hospital.

I have NEVER felt worse in my life. I, and I kid you not, was falling unconscious at 6pm and sleeping like I was in a coma until the alarm would wake me up at 7am. It was horrible. And my poor tummy…man, my body does not like all that protein! Total suck.

So, please forgive my Exit Stage Left without warning. I feel like a schmuck as I love you guys and really have missed you. I just need work to calm down a bit so that I can happily embrace my computer after the workday is done.

Oh, and I’ve had two chickens die in the last month…one of old age and another one (one of the replacement-so-wifey-isn’t-sad-about-dead-chicken chickens) who drowned when our back yard had its monthly irrigation. Poor little critter. So yes, I’ve been a bit off lately. But will be back soon enough and then you’ll wish I’d stayed hidden! πŸ˜‰

In an effort to say I’m sorry I’m going to do another Kindle book giveaway this upcoming Friday-Tuesday. I’ll post details later, but since you all live so far away from me I don’t know what else to do to say LOVE YA except give you free stuff.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 

 

FREE BOOKS for 3 More Days! Get ’em while they’re hot (and FREE!)

Oh my gosh! I can’t tell you guys how exciting this is! My books have been downloaded literally thousands and thousands of times in the last 36 hours and I’m so happy I could explode!

Intimacy and Darn Good Eats have each reached #1 in the categories! Sooooooo happy! Sex reached #2 (beaten out only by my Intimacy book, so I can’t really complain!)

I hope all of you that downloaded them are enjoying them and getting a good giggle. πŸ™‚

I wanted to make sure that anyone who may have missed my last blog about the free books got another opportunity, so I’m putting links here at the bottom of the page for you so you can go download them. Just make sure to do it by late on the 16th cause then the promotion will be over.

Also, I want to thank Jason Anthony of The Acquiring Man Magazine (who I write a monthly column for) as he posted some wonderful review of my Sex and Intimacy books earlier today. If you are wondering whether or not to download my books (for free!) click HERE to check out his reviews first. That way you can hear from him why he thinks they are worth a quick read.

Much love to all of you who downloaded them. May you enjoy yourself silly and have a happier, sexier, more well-fed life as a result! πŸ™‚

XOXOXXOXO

Click HERE to go to my Amazon page to download all 3 books.

Or click on each picture below to go right to that book’s page.

Sex book cover inside printed books

Love you guys!!!

3 FREE BOOKS! Yep, you heard me…FREE because I love you! ;)

Well, I’m all in a Christmasy mood, so because I love you guys I’ve decided that on December 12th-16th you can get all 3 of my books on Kindle for F.R.E.E! Holy shit, Batman!

Batman

Last year I did a book giveaway around Christmas and you guys made me feel all warm and fuzzy with your amazing response, so I thought I’d do it again this year.

Fear not, if you don’t have a Kindle that’s okay. You can go to Amazon and download a free Kindle reader onto any device–tablet, iPad, iPhone, android phone, desktop computer, laptop, blah blah blah…the list goes on forever. That way you don’t need to buy a Kindle to read Kindle books. Yay! Click HERE to go to the page that lets you download the reader to your device.

As for my books, you can go right to my author’s page and get all 3 of them. Click HERE to be a downloading for free fool! πŸ˜‰

Or, if you already have a couple of them and just need one or two more, you can click on any of the covers below and go directly to that page. See, I’m all about makin’ it easy for you to get free stuff. πŸ™‚

Sex book cover inside printed books

From my heart though, I hope that everyone has a wonderful, loving, relaxing and happy holiday season.

As you can see, my Moopers kitty is enjoying sitting in the glow of our Christmas tree. I think I may just join her. πŸ™‚

MUCH LOVE!!!!

Christmas Tree 2013 and Moopy

BOOK GIVEAWAY and other awesome stuff that makes me blush!

Hi! Wow, 2 post in 2 day–I must be feeling better. πŸ™‚ (Yep, 2 typos within the first 7 words–okay, maybe not feeling 100% better yet!)

Plus, this one is time sensitive. You guys know I write a monthly column for the Acquiring Man magazine. They just posted a book giveaway on Facebook for my Sex book and I wanted you guys to have a shot at it. If you are on Facebook, go like the post (for one entry into the drawing) or share it (for two entries).Acquiring Man Selfish Sexually

Speaking of the Acquiring Man magazine, my new article posted the other day. Go check it out. It’s a bit raunchy (shocking! I know!) but it’s funny too–all about the pitfalls of being a selfish lover. Yes, I talk about wanting to kill people. You know how I am!

Let’s see…other cool stuff going on.

Oh, I was on an awesome radio show yesterday. It was my 3rd or 4th time and we had a blast. It’s called Sex and Politics Radio and guess what we talked about? Yep, you got it. Otters. NOOOO! We dished about some great sex stuff, though I had to keep it kinda clean since it airs online and on broadcast radio. It was NOT easy, let me tell ya!Β  Give it a click HERE to listen.

I also awoke the other day to a wonderful surprise review of my book. Joey Pinkney is a best selling author and book reviewer and he surprised me with a review of my Intimacy book for the ladies. I was so tickled! Especially because I’m always nervous when a man reads it as it was written for chicks–but he gave it 5 stars. Yay! Click HERE to give it a read. πŸ™‚ Watch out though–he used my red haired pic, so if you haven’t seen me incognito like that before it may cause nightmares. Just warning you!

Last but not least, I realized that I hadn’t blogged about a wonderful woman who wrote the nicest reviews of my books on her blog. She blogs as: Ramblings from a Strange Woman… I Am Not Your Average Housewife!! I almost fainted with appreciation when I read these, so I wanted to say a very public THANK YOU to her and send all of you over there to follow her. She’s a total sweetheart!

Cookbook review.

Sex review (wait…something sounds naughty about that!).

Intimacy review.

Now, please don’t think I’m some kind of narcisstic lunatic for blogging about all these things. I promise you this is not me “Oooo Oooo Ooooing” like Horshack in Mr. Kotter’s class to get attention (google it youngins! or see below). This post is more a huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to do something lovely for me. As you guys know, it humbles me that people would be so kind as to invite me onto their radio shows and write things about my books. It thrills me to my very toes, so THANK YOU to everyone who has been so wonderful to me. It is appreciated more than you know. MUCH LOVE!!!!

Favor? Pretty please with sugar on top?

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TGIMFF!!! (Yeah, TGIF just doesn’t capture how happy I am that it’s Friday!) The hubby and I are doing a double feature tomorrow. First, Pain and Gain. Any suggestions for movie number 2?

As for the favor, I’m wondering if those of you who I sent complimentary copies of my books to, or who got in on the $.99 Kindle/Nook book special, would do me a favor? If you got the books and enjoyed them, can you pretty please leave a delicious review of them on Amazon? I hate to even ask, but I’d be super grateful. After Amazon went bonkers last year and deleted tons of reviews off of everyone’s books including mine (I will still never understand why they did that), it appears that hardly anyone has read my books when they actually do quite well. It was so devastating to go from having tons of all 5-star reviews (except 1 from someone who liked the content but not my slightly naughty mouth πŸ˜‰ ) to having almost no reviews at all. Absolutely heartbreaking. pretty please kitty

I heard back from tons of you via email on how much you laughed or how yummy the food was–and was so delighted by your wonderful stories, but it would be great to see that wonderful commentary on Amazon too. And just so you know, it doesn’t have to be a tome. It could literally be one happy sentence and I’d be thrilled. I’d really appreciate it, my lovely blog buddies, if you’d help me out with this. And if you don’t want to or didn’t like the books, I totally understand and don’t feel like you have to leave a review–no pressure. I just thought I’d ask those of you who did enjoy them or got a good chuckle out of them to leave a review.

If you do decide to post a review (for any or all books), just click on the pictures below and it’ll take you right to the book’s Amazon page.

Thanks so much, guys! I really appreciate it! Love you!

Book Cover SmallΒ Β New Intimacy Book Cover Small with black border 1-20-13 Β  Β Β  Β  New Sex Book Cover 225 pixels wide black outline

Kitty says, “To all of you who’ve already left reviews, thank you! Mommy and I love you!!!”

happy kitty