I Avoided Prison! It’s a Miracle!

My fun adventure at the pharmacy!

I pull up to the drive-through window to pick up 3 prescriptions; all 3 of which I’ve been filling at this pharmacy for years.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Can you please make sure to include 25-gauge needles for the B-12 injections?

(As they always tend to forget the damn needles.)

Pharmacy Dude: Do you have a prescription for that?

Me: Yes. The bag you are about to hand me has 3 vials of injectable B-12. So I need the needles to be able to inject it.

Pharmacy Dude: But do you have a prescription for the needles?

Me: Well, I’m certain my doctor doesn’t expect me to drink the vials of B-12 and I’ve been filling this prescription here for years…

(I tried not to be too snarky. It was challenging. Now insert a long pause… waiting… waiting…)

Pharmacy Dude: I’m going to have to check.

(He stands there, staring at me through the window and does nothing.)

Me: Do you give needles to people using injectable insulin?

(I’m TRYING to help him make the mental connection that injectable prescriptions need some way of being injected.)

Pharmacy Dude: Of course.

Me: Then wouldn’t it make sense that if I have to inject my prescription B-12 that I might need needles?

(I said this politely, though that was not my go-to emotion at this point.)

Pharmacy Dude: (Stares into space. For a long time.)

Me: They are 25-gauge, 1.5 inch needles. I need 3 of them.

Pharmacy Dude: (Continues to look at me like I’ve sprouted a second head.)

Me: One needle for each month. It’s a 3-month refill. One needle per vial. So I need 3 needles.

(And here I am thinking that this explanation will make it clear what I need. I am an idiot.)

Pharmacy Dude: So that was one 46-gauge needle?

Me: No. I need three 25-gauge needles; one for each vial as reusing needles is unsafe.

(Does that needle even exist??? I’m still trying to still be polite, but want to burn the fucking building to the ground.)

Pharmacy Dude: I gotta go ask.

Me: Take your time.

(I should get an award for patience and not dragging him through the drive-through window for undisclosed purposes.)

Pharmacy Dude: Okay. Here you go.

(Gives me one 21-gauge needle–fuck that, that’s like trying to inject yourself with a straw.)

Me: I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear…

(Insert me explaining AGAIN what I need. Then, as he’s doing God knows what that I cannot see, I wait for the entire length of the song, Southern Cross, to play on my car stereo. La la la…)

Pharmacy Dude: Here you go.

ALAS!!! Finally!! The correct needles.

But only 2 of them.

I gave up, drove away, and just bought 50 of them from a medical supply company. Not worth the insanity!!!

Note: You cannot inject anything like this:

Suicide Prevention: PREVENT IT NOW, DAMN IT ALL

There’s been too much death around me.

People have got to seek help if suicidal.

Please, please, I beg of you, get help when you need it.

No more death…

1-800-273-8255

 

God bless you all and keep you safe.