I am quite literally going to be braver in this post than I’ve EVER been in my life (excluding evil doctor-related things).
For most of my life I’ve had an insane fear, I’m mean a severe PHOBIA of singing in public.
It’s not healthy to be scared. It’s not fun.
I will not do karaoke. I won’t let anyone hear me sing in the car or shower, including the hubby.
I’m am truly blinded by the fear of people telling me I suck. And I DO! I know I can’t sing. I know I sound like a cat being gutted, but I love to sing. When I’m alone in my car I have so much fun singing my face off as loud as can be. But if anyone heard me, I’d die.
So, since Today’s Truth #2 is Be Brave, then I’m going to put my fear where my mouth is and do a few singalongs. If I could sing well, then this wouldn’t be brave. But knowing that I cannot sing well at all, well, that is my test of bravery. I’m willing to be utterly vulnerable in front of everyone, even knowing I’m tone deaf. This is my version of brave.
Please know, I’m TERRIFIED, MORTIFIED, HORRIFIED, and any other “ified” you can come up with.
Don’t be too mean in your comments.
I KNOW I hit flat notes, sharp notes, totally wrong notes, fuck up the lyrics and make people want to die. I know this. But there is a freedom in being brave that is more important than letting fear drive your life.
Bravery is glorious, scary, amazing, liberating, terrifying and so many more things. We’ll talk more about it in other posts down the line, but I’m going to share with you 3 singalongs that I did. I probably should have warmed up my voice or practiced, but it is what it is. There’s no editing, voice fixing, post-producing or anything of that nature. This is just me as raw as it gets. As vulnerable as it gets because my fear really is more a phobia than anything else. I’d rather have a spider crawl on my eyeball than sing in public. That should tell you just how brave I’m trying to be in doing this.
I think song number 3 is probably the best, but I promised myself I’d post them all. May God help your ears. 😉
Song 1: Lady Gaga: You and I
This video was inspired from nearly getting killed on the road by an asshat as we were merging off the 101. My bravery was not jumping out of my car and killing him with a hammer.
This song is so unbearably out of my vocal range that it’s ridiculous. But if you’re going to do it, do it. Just know that I KNOW this is not good. But I have to overcome my fears, regardless of what they are. Be warned!
Also, I get very tongue tied, forget how to pronounce words at the end and just fuck shit all up. It’s embarrassing, but again, NO EDITING. It is what it is. (PS: I now know why Stevie Wonder does the head shaking thing…you’ll see first hand soon enough…sorry…) 🙂
PS: Until the videos finish “processing” it looks like they are 90 degrees crooked. Once you hit play they go right side up. Technology is weird!
Song 2: John Denver: Country Roads
This video was inspired from nearly getting killed merging off the 101 onto the 202. It was not a good day for driving. Almost nearly killed twice in one damn day. My car was actually 90 degrees the wrong direction on the road and I went from 70mph to sideways to straightened out in the course of about 3 seconds. I don’t know how I’m alive or didn’t hit 10 other cars. Miracle. So I was so happy to be alive that I was inspired to try a another song in case the Lady Gaga one was so just so bad that I couldn’t post it. But, that wouldn’t be brave. So, you get this one too.
Also, I do know the word “bravery.” Why I call it “braveness” sometimes is beyond me. I was terrified and have no excuse for sucking except that I was just scared to death because I was about to or just had finished singing.
This video has some different stories in it than the Gaga song. I was going to post one or the other, but decided to go with both, so if you listen to both you’ll hear some other fun tidbits about my life. Oh, and I get a little better as the so goes on. He sings lower than my register so it’s hard for me to hit those notes, but I warm up a bit about halfway through. Again, consider yourself warned.
Song 3: Erykah Badu: Tyrone
LOVE this song! When I told my sister I was doing my self-imposed Bravery Challenge she said I should do Tyrone. How could I not thought of that!? GREAT song. Again, so out of my vocal range it’s insane. But I tried again, dammit! And I think it may be the best of the 3. Maybe. Big thanks to my sister for her suggestion. Oh, and I’ll give you her address if you wanna kill her for suggesting I sing this. I wouldn’t blame you. 😉
Remember, if I can do something that terrifies me more than death and taxes, you can too. Find your worst fear and try and overcome it. It’s so freeing!!!
I think I’ll now be able to sing in the car with the hubby present and not be terrified about being critiqued or made fun of (in his head as he’d never say it to my face). But silent critiquing is just as scary.
So, go do something wild! Go be brave! Go kick some ass! Once you’re dead you can’t, so do it while you still have the time.
God bless and much love.