Well, you guys know that our little Tick Teddy likes to go on wild adventures.
He’s been all over the country and up into Canada, leaving a trail of dead hookers in his wake.
There’s no confining him. No stopping him. He just won’t abide!
This week, Tick Teddy is on Hollywood Boulevard.
He’s laying waste to everything in his path and I will show you the evidence that can certainly (hopefully) be used against him in a court of law.
Tick’s Seemingly Innocent Start
“Hi mama. Daddy left me here while he’s off banging bar slut wannabes. There’s nothing for me to play with. I’m bored mama.”
Tick Finds a Friend
“Look who I found, mama! I gots me a Tyrannical Rex to play with. I hope he doesn’t pull me down into a life ‘a crime. I’ma gonna use him to help me see over all the tall people heads. Not to rob banks. No sirreee bob. I promise.”
Tick and Daddy Share a Star
“Told you I was gonna be good. Me ‘n Daddy have our own star on the Walk o’ Shame…oh, I means Walk of Fame.”
Tick Has a Bad Dream
“Hey mama, I gots you a new boyfriend! He tells me he’s the man that dreams are made of. I’m not sure I believe him mama. Mama???”
Tick Finds a Solution
“Whew! No bad dreams for the Tick, mama. I gots me a hundrit percent solution to what ails me.”
Tick Finds His Father
“Mama, I thought you said Daddy was my Daddy? Then why is this asshat telling me that HE’S my father? What’s goin’ on, mama?”
Tick Breaks the Law
“Look, mama, I had to escape my new Daddy. He touched me in bad places. So, yeah, I’ma gonna turn right on red. I gots ta get outta here and fast!”
Tick Gets a Close Encounter of the Boobage Kind
“It sure is warm in here mama. Tick likey.”
Tick Savors the Spoils
“Now mama, don’t get upset. It’s alcohol-free beer. I ain’t shining you on. You knows I’m a good Tick and would never do anything bad or that would get me in trouble.”
Tick Goes to the Pokey
“Well, mama, it had to happen sumtime. I’m just glad you aren’t around to see it first hand. They’s throwing me in the hootscow. I’ma dun for. Say bye to the other teddies for me. I see the way that ho’se is eyeballin’ me. This ain’t gonna go down easy…”
Fare thee well, little buddy. Mommy and Daddy will always love you…
PS: Big props to the hubby, who, while out of town and knowing that I miss him terribly, takes Tick on his adventures and sends me these pictures to make me smile. I am truly the most blessed girl on earth. I love you, baby!