Truth 6: Naughty Flirter!

A friend of mine inspired this Truth Series installment on flirting.

As many of you know, I can be a bit of a flirt myself. But it’s all just in good fun. I’m as loyal as the family Golden Retriever.

But, his comment to me made me laugh so hard that I just had to do a video on it. I hope you enjoy (and if you are being NAUGHTY that it helps you see that you might wanna stop–dammit!).

PS: I don’t have a black left eye and I realized I have a smudge on my right cheek. That’s what you get with no make-up and not checking my look in the mirror before hitting record! Au natural! ๐Ÿ˜‰


Love you guys!

Have a great weekend!


You are my sunshine…my only sunshine…

You guys know that in addition to being a foul-mouthed trollop, I’m also a squishy little cuddle bun bun with my hubby.

We text each other a few times during the day just to say, “I love you, Stinker!” Or, “How’s my little Muffininator’s day going?”

He’ll send me imgur images of frolicking otters or baby squirrels. Yep, I’m a total sap! Alas, that is not news to any of you. ๐Ÿ™‚

So, today I thought I’d liven up an I Love You text to the man with this cute little gif:


The hubby just loved it!

So, I thought I’d share with you a bunch of gifs I pilfered from Google Images so that you can nab them and text or email them to your honey bunny (or mom, sister, brother, dog, kid, cat, hamster…whoever has an Internet connection).

For Windows users, you should be able to right click on them, select Save Image As, then save them to your local drive for future uploading into a text message or email.

For Mac users, I guess you just think to yourself, “Mac, upload this image and send to wifey,” and it’ll read your mind and do it all for you. If that, for some odd reason, doesn’t work, maybe click and hold???? It’s been so long since I worked on a Mac that I’ve forgotten anything I ever knew about them. I’m a slave to Bill Gates apparently. NOOOOO!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here ya go! Cuteness galore…

DancingILoveYou DoggyLove FancyILoveYou HappyFaceILoveYou ILoveYouBlinkyHeart IMissYou KittyLove LoveForever MousyLove ScoobyLove SparkleLove TeddyHeartsLoveYou TeddyLove YouAre

And lastly, for those of you who kind of love/hate your mate, here’s a super creepy one that both shouts love and is the precursor to nightmares:


Now go send some love to your honey!

Or don’t.

You can always instead send them dancing poopย to say hi. ๐Ÿ˜‰


The Illicit, Illegal and Immoral Adventures of Tick Teddy

Well, you guys know that our little Tick Teddy likes to go on wild adventures.

He’s been all over the country and up into Canada, leaving a trail of dead hookers in his wake.

There’s no confining him. No stopping him. He just won’t abide!

This week, Tick Teddy is on Hollywood Boulevard.

He’s laying waste to everything in his path and I will show you the evidence that can certainly (hopefully) be used against him in a court of law.

Tick’s Seemingly Innocent Start

“Hi mama. Daddy left me here while he’s off banging bar slut wannabes. There’s nothing for me to play with. I’m bored mama.”

Tick Bored Hollywood March 2016


Tick Finds a Friend

“Look who I found, mama! I gots me a Tyrannical Rex to play with. I hope he doesn’t pull me down into a life ‘a crime. I’ma gonna use him to help me see over all the tall people heads. Not to rob banks. No sirreee bob. I promise.”

Tick With T-rex Hollywood March 2016


Tick and Daddy Share a Star

“Told you I was gonna be good. Me ‘n Daddy have our own star on the Walk o’ Shame…oh, I means Walk of Fame.”

Tick with Grant Star Hollywood March 2016


Tick Has a Bad Dream

“Hey mama, I gots you a new boyfriend! He tells me he’s the manย that dreams are made of. I’m not sure I believe him mama. Mama???”

Tick with Freddy Kruger Hollywood March 2016


Tick Finds a Solution

“Whew! No bad dreams for the Tick, mama. I gots me a hundrit percent solution to what ails me.”

Tick with Bongs Hollywood March 2016


Tick Finds His Father

“Mama, I thought you said Daddy was my Daddy? Then why is this asshat telling me that HE’S my father? What’s goin’ on, mama?”

Tick with Darth Vader Hollywood March 2016


Tick Breaks the Law

“Look, mama, I had to escape my new Daddy. He touched me in bad places. So, yeah, I’ma gonna turn right on red. I gots ta get outta here and fast!”

Tick Turning Right on Red Hollywood March 2016


Tick Gets a Close Encounter of the Boobage Kind

“It sure is warm in here mama. Tick likey.”

Tick with Marilyn Hollywood March 2016


Tick Savorsย the Spoils

“Now mama, don’t get upset. It’s alcohol-free beer. I ain’t shining you on. You knows I’m a good Tick and would never do anything bad or that would get me in trouble.”

Tick With Beer Hollywood March 2016


Tick Goes to the Pokey

“Well, mama, it had to happen sumtime. I’m just glad you aren’t around to see it first hand. They’s throwing me in the hootscow. I’ma dun for. Say bye to the other teddies for me. I see the way that ho’se is eyeballin’ me. This ain’t gonna go down easy…”

Tick with Cop Hollywood March 2016


Fare thee well, little buddy. Mommy and Daddy will always love you…

PS: Big props to the hubby, who, while out of town and knowing that I miss him terribly, takes Tick on his adventures and sends me these pictures to make me smile. I am truly the most blessed girl on earth. I love you, baby! ๐Ÿ™‚


I’m trying something new…NO! Not bestiality! Ya bunch of perverts! ;)

Over the last few years I’ve had some requests to turn my blog into a podcast of sorts.

As I’m lazy as fuck (in reality I just work too damn hard during the day!), I’ve been putting it off. But with my last post I got a few emails telling me they want to hear it instead of read it. So, I’m giving in.

But I must warn you…I’m doing it in one take. So if I fuck up horribly, sneeze or decide to eat dinner while recording…well, you are just going to have to hear it all. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here’s my first try. It’s a recording of my last post, “I’ve HAD it,” which is a rant about dumbfuckery.

It’s not word-for-word, but it’s close.

Don’t be too hard on me and all my mess-ups.



Here’s the link if ya wanna see the last pic in the post. ๐Ÿ™‚


I’ve HAD it!

Okay, so it’s no surprise to any of you that I prefer proper English unless making a point or being silly or for some other good reason. Lord knows I’ve said “ain’t” and other such things on more than one occasion. I’m flying my hypocrite flag as I type. ๐Ÿ˜‰

And I know I can be a grammar freak and should probably just suck it up in this day and age of texting, but I saw something so egregious the other day that I simply have to comment on it.

First let me say that I understand abbreviations make it easier to text when:

  1. You have no fucking clue how to spall wrds
  2. You don’t care about spaleng wrods kerrektly
  3. You like confusing us old folk
  4. You are texting while driving 80 mph and are trying not to murder everyone on the road
  5. You are getting nookied from behind and all that commotion is making it difficult to type

I get it. Sometimes an abbreviation is okay. On a VERY rare occasion I use one myself. (Usually WTF? when I’m attempting to be polite!). ๐Ÿ™‚

But this one that I saw defies all comprehension.

I seriously do NOT understand how this abbreviation is at all easier to type than actually spelling the word.TheFuckKitty

Here it is: ‘Yn(n)’s

What in the holy fuck?

Here’s how that breaks down from a typing perspective on an Android phone.

  1. Tap the symbol key
  2. Tap the apostrophe key
  3. Tap the ABC key
  4. Tap the Capitalization key
  5. Tap the Y key
  6. Tap the n key
  7. Tap the symbol key
  8. Tap the opening parentheses key
  9. Tap the ABC key
  10. Tap the n key
  11. Tap the symbol key
  12. Tap the closing parentheses key
  13. Tap the apostrophe key
  14. Tap the ABC key
  15. Tap the s key

Luckily, due to the context of the truly awful sentence, I was able to suss out that they were attempting to communicate the word “youngins.”

How on earth is it easier to do all those steps listed above than just typing the fuckin’ word?

I both burst out laughing and died of horror when I saw that helpful texting shortcut. What on God’s green Earth…?

While I realize I’m old and inflexible and an asshat, can we please just agree that if the abbreviation is harder to type than the damn word itself that we’ll just stick to the damn word? Please?SillySmileyFace

All those under the age of 35 will have but one answer for me: