Truth 17: It’s Not About Your Pant Size (oh, and love yourself dammit!)

 

I’m ranting, but ranting from the purest love in my heart. If my rant helps even one person feel better about themselves or changes the view of one person, then it was worth throwing a very public fit with no makeup, unbrushed hair, etc…

Everyone on TV, in movies and magazines tells you that you need to be better. Screw them. You are beautiful as you are.

I love you guys and just want all of you to be happy and healthy!

PS: I know there are other sub-plots to the movie like skinny girls are insecure too, etc… I’m just covering the main idea of the movie I’m about to throw down on, but don’t worry, I didn’t miss the other subtexts that zoomed by in the blink of an eye.

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love ya!

Truth 15: Ads, Porn and Teddy Bears?

 

You can’t say I don’t title shit strangely!

Enjoy!

 

Have a great weekend!

XOXOXOXO

Truth 13: No mo’ wastin’ money on $6.00 Frapps!

 

Since I could have solved the national debt with what I’ve given to Starbucks for essentially a cup of ice over the last 5 years, I decided to go out on my own…be adventurous and MAKE MY OWN DAMN FRAPPS AT HOME!

And that’s what this video is all about. I hope to save you a ton of money AND teach you how to make a damn fine frozen drink. You could even “Irish” it up if you were so inclined.

Enjoy! XO

 

Have a great week!

Love you guys!!!

What the Shit is This?

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Dear Cracker Jack people,

You can suck it!

What kind of rip off, jacked up “prize” is this?

Cracker Jack 1Cracker Jack 2

I’ll tell ya, it’s a shit prize. No. It’s not a prize. It’s a turd in a box of cheap popcorn with nuts so hard if you bite on them you’ll break your teeth.

Are you seriously telling me that your gift to me is an explanation I can get on Wikipedia? WHERE’S MY DIAMOND RING OR ACTION FIGURE OR TATTOO!?

I want my money back. I want my childhood dreams of finding a diamond ring in the box back. I want the Cracker Jacks makers to be shamed for their cheapness.

Cracker Jacks Ring

Back in the day there were few things more exciting then when Mom would surprise you with a box of Cracker Jacks and you couldn’t wait to get to the bottom for that awesome prize that you’d cherish until your sister stole it or you lost it or Mom sucked it up in the vacuum.

Now? I wouldn’t wipe my hamster’s butt with your “prize.”

Shame! Cracker Jack makers. Shame! Have some pride in your product please.

Yours truly,

Jodi

(Now a full and complete Poppycock lover! (Heh heh…she said cock.))  🙂

Consider yourself WARNED!!!

Yep, this is the first time I’m doing a preemptive strike blog post! 🙂

I’m working on a fun little post full of the most horribly inappropriate things ever. It harkens back to a day when a former employee of mine and I would have SO MUCH FUN at the office. He was (and is) one of the coolest people on earth, and like me has little-to-no filter.

I’m not done with the post yet, but when I do publish it in the next few days and say, “DON’T READ THIS OR YOU MIGHT GO BLIND, INSANE OR END UP SUCKING YOUR THUMB IN A RUBBER ROOM” I just want you to know that I mean it. 😉

Honest to God, it’s just one of those things that struck he and I funny (I don’t think “he and I” is right, but “him and me” seems wrong too!) while we worked our assess off and were in need of some comic relief. We managed to jot down some of the funniness and that’s what I’ll be sharing. But is has so many horrible cuss words, sick and fucked up thoughts and seriously non-PC stuff in it that I just wanted to give you fair warning.

I don’t want to burn anyone’s retinas with what they’ll read, nor do I want any guff about how hideous some of the one-liners are. 😉

So, consider yourself forewarned! (Though I think most of you who visit me here often will enjoy it as we are all a bit fiesty!)

PS: Here’s what you might look like as you read through my next post–though I’m guessing there might be a giggle or two in there too. XOXOXOXO

Shocked