Horrified in the Fry’s Parking Lot!

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Be prepared for 2 things:

  1. My shortest blog post ever!
  2. To be grossed out beyond belief.

While driving out of the grocery store parking lot I stopped to let a woman cross the street and go into the store. Innocuous so far, right?

Well…Oh, the horror of it all!

She was pushing the cart with her belly while picking her nose with one hand and BRUSHING HER TEETH WITH THE OTHER!

What.

The.

Fuck.

I could die tonight and have seen it all. ALL!

Total insanity.

Granted, I’m a visual atrocity fairly often. I go to Starbucks in my pajamas and with no makeup. But someone kill me if I ever walk around with one finger in my nose and the other working a toothbrush.

I don’t even know how she did it. Isn’t it like rubbing your belly and patting your head. Good grief! ๐Ÿ˜‰

What the Shit is This?

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Dear Cracker Jack people,

You can suck it!

What kind of rip off, jacked up “prize” is this?

Cracker Jack 1Cracker Jack 2

I’ll tell ya, it’s a shit prize. No. It’s not a prize. It’s a turd in a box of cheap popcorn with nuts so hard if you bite on them you’ll break your teeth.

Are you seriously telling me that your gift to me is an explanation I can get on Wikipedia? WHERE’S MY DIAMOND RING OR ACTION FIGURE OR TATTOO!?

I want my money back. I want my childhood dreams of finding a diamond ring in the box back. I want the Cracker Jacks makers to be shamed for their cheapness.

Cracker Jacks Ring

Back in the day there were few things more exciting then when Mom would surprise you with a box of Cracker Jacks and you couldn’t wait to get to the bottom for that awesome prize that you’d cherish until your sister stole it or you lost it or Mom sucked it up in the vacuum.

Now? I wouldn’t wipe my hamster’s butt with your “prize.”

Shame! Cracker Jack makers. Shame! Have some pride in your product please.

Yours truly,

Jodi

(Now a full and complete Poppycock lover! (Heh heh…she said cock.))ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Broken teeth, drugs, blog coma

Hello my dear blog buddies!

I know I’ve been a bit absent and I feel bad that I haven’t responded to any comments in the last few days. I broke a tooth a couple of weeks ago and have been in and out of a torture chamber (read that as dentist and endodontist offices) non-stop ever since and still am not done being slowly killed by needles, drills and partially removed teeth. OUCH DAMMIT!! I’ve been medicated on Vicodin and now steroids to try and calm down the raging nerves and just haven’t had the energy to do anything except pray for a quick death.

I promise I’ll be back soon to thank all of you for your amazing help with the Superhero Challenge. I appreciate all of the help you’ve given Liz more than I can say.

Tip o’the day: Do NOT chew on olives with pits. The pit always wins.

This is representative of both how my tooth and I feel about EVER going back to the dentist!

This is representative ofย  how both my tooth and I feel about EVER going back to the dentist!