10 Things I Hate About PMS! ;)

.

Yeah, yeah, TMI I know. But dammit, sometimes a girl just has to share.

10 reasons PMS sucks donkey balls:

  1. Men don’t have it. NOT FAIR!
  2. I’m hungry all the time.
  3. Did I mention that I’M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME!?
  4. All I want to eat is pizza, chocolate, McDonald’s french fries, more pizza, more chocolate, spaghetti with homemade sauce, Snickers and funnel cake.
  5. After eating all that, all I want to do is sleep and then wake up and then sleep some more.
  6. I gain like 3 pounds of water weight for about 6 days.
  7. I wake up 5 times a night to a bursting bladder. Then I can’t fall back asleep and lay there cursing anyone and everyone that is asleep at that precise moment.
  8. It’s the precursor to even more fun the next week. Yay!
  9. Did I mention that I can’t stop stuffing my gullet?
  10. MEN DON’T HAVE IT! STILL NOT FAIR!!!

I guess I should be thankful that I don’t get bitchy or whiny or weepy. I know the hubby is thankful for that! But dammit, the absence of one misery doesn’t negate the presence of others.

I saw on a TV show a man saying that women should just shut up about it because men, after all, have to get prostate exams. Needless to say I went over to the TV and smashed it with a bat. Then I found where the guy lived and burned his house to the ground with him and his prostate in it.

PMS

PMS 1

PMS 2

My two favorite TV show quotes EVER! (Horribly inappropriate and offensive–view at your own risk!!)

The cartoon Archer is one of the best damn cartoons ever–it rivals South Park in the early days. I simply love it. And it has foulness in it that makes me have to pause the TV, choke to death laughing, then rewind so that I can live the horror again.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The first one is just funny as shit.

The second one is horrible in so many delicious ways and even comes in a picture (no pun intended!)–someone did me the favor of putting the quote right on the pic.

Turn away if you offend easily.

First quote from Pam (the blonde in the pic below, to her slutty coworker whose name I can never remember):

“Shut your dick holster.”  Ahh…the mental image that gives me. 🙂

Second quote:

archer

If you don’t know the cartoon, start watching it. It’s on FX Network and is about an organization of super spies who all suffer from one form or another of mental illness. It is AWESOME in its awfulness.

Hope you are all having a great weekend!