Best Damn Macaroni Salad EVER!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, a Happy New Year and is surviving the abysmal return to work. I’m hanging on by the skin of my teeth. I need to be independently wealthy so that every week is like Christmas! 😉 Ah…to dream.

Anyway, I digress.shock kitty

So, believe it or not, I actually cooked stuff this Christmas. I know. SHOCKING!

I made my mom’s famous mac salad (even people who don’t usually like mac salad like this!) and cheesy taters. Yum!

While the cheesy taters are, health-wise, just this side of a heart attack, the macaroni salad isn’t so bad. Especially if you use the Kraft Olive Oil mayo. Way less calories and fat than regular mayo and I can’t tell the difference. Also, I use less than one cup of mayo (mom uses way more), so my suggestion is to start with less and work your way up if you want it creamier. I think too much mayo is pukey, but you do what makes you happy. 🙂

Anyway, I thought I’d share the mac salad recipe for those of you who want to eat something as fresh and delicious as watermelon on a hot summer day. Especially since it’s cold as a witch’s tit out there and we could all use a little bit of summer right now. Except me. I live in AZ and had my air conditioning on the other day. Yes. I’m a wretched bitch. 🙂

Here’s the recipe straight from the cookbook. Enjoy!

Mom’s Macaroni Salad

I think maybe twice in my life I’ve had good macaroni salad at a restaurant or deli. It’s either got too much mayonnaise (yuck!) or some weird spice or a gross tang that makes me want to retch. I keep trying, but I rarely find one that is palatable. What is my solution to this problem? Make my own.

To be quite frank, that solution almost never occurs to me. It does not occur to a furry little blind mole to buy reading glasses. Why would it occur to ME to cook something voluntarily? It usually doesn’t. But this is super easy and is incredibly light tasting and refreshing. It has very few ingredients (whew…) and is almost impossible to make wrong. To me, that is the perfect recipe.

Stuff you’ll need:

  • 1 one-pound box of elbow macaroni
  • 1 green pepper
  • 4 good-sized tomatoes
  • 1 large cucumber
  • 1 medium-sized, sweet onion (don’t use a yellow or red, they are way too potent—look on the label of the onion for the word “sweet”)
  • 1 cup of mayonnaise* (maybe more)
  • Salt and pepper, to taste

*I use Kraft Mayo with Olive Oil™ as I can’t tell the difference between it and regular mayo, but it has way fewer calories and less fat than the regular kind.

Putting it all together:

  1. Cook the macaroni according to the directions on the box.
  2. Once it’s cooked (don’t overcook it) dump it into a colander and thoroughly rinse it with cool water.
  3. Empty the macaroni into a large bowl.
  4. Cut the tomatoes into bite-sized pieces and add to the bowl.
  5. Peel the cucumber and cut into bite-sized pieces and add to the bowl.
  6. Cut the green pepper into large pieces (I do this because I don’t want to bite down on a piece of green pepper, but it does add a nice flavor to the salad—you can cut it any way you want) and add to the bowl.
  7. Dice the onion into small pieces (you don’t want any big bites of onion either, but you do actually want onion in your mouth) and add to the bowl.
  8. Add about 1/2 the mayonnaise and stir. Continue to add the mayo until it’s got enough for you. Some people like tons of it, some people don’t.
  9. Add salt and pepper. Taste it. Add more salt and pepper as necessary.
  10. Refrigerate for at least a couple of hours so everything has time to chill. If you can, refrigerate it overnight. It is at its absolute best on the second day.
  11. Before serving, make sure to stir and taste-test it one more time to make sure it has enough salt. It will be bland if it doesn’t have enough salt.

One of my favorite things about this salad is that it doesn’t have a bunch of weird junk in it. I think sometimes people get so obsessed with making food all fancy and complicated that they lose sight of what makes it taste so good—simplicity. This salad has a clean, crisp, summer taste to it. It is one of my all-time favorite things to eat while sitting in the backyard and watching the chickens play as the sun goes down.

Dragon-breath-o-meter

sparky small 1

 

 

PS: Go easy with the onion at first and add more a little bit at a time. I love tons of onion, but just in case you don’t you can always leave it out or just use a little. 🙂

Varmints, Critters and Furries, OH MY!

Since you guys seemed to like my furry friends, I thought I’d share a few more with you. I LOVE LOVE LOVE taking pictures of things that are fuzzy. It makes me happy just looking at them. I wanna take them all home, put them in my bed and just roll around and giggle all over them. Wait. Does that make me sound like a freak? Probably. 🙂

This furry little monster followed me around all day, licking me and nudging my butt. I fell immediately in love with him!!

Baby Got Back! Good lord, alpaca butts are cute!!

My sweet little chipmunk friend, in a bit more detail. I was literally 3 feet from his face. I cannot believe how he just sat there and posed for me. 🙂

Yeah, I’m not messing with this Mo Fo! Snakey gone wild!

Yeah, I’m done entertaining people. You can take a picture, but I’m not gonna pose! I’m NOT! I swear, this is not me posing pretty for the camera.

I don’t know what the hell kinda kitties these are but I love the little one. WHACK! Right on Mommy’s nose. 🙂

“Hiiiiiii-ya! Take THAT!” My idea of Heaven, I kid you not, is being able to roll around in the water with a big pile of non-pooping, non-biting otters. I sure hope God gives that to me when I die. 🙂

Who knew otters pondered world peace? That is one contemplative otter!

This little stinker chased me around the lake! Can’t blame her for trying to protect those little fuzzy critters.

I would NOT want to be the little mousie that he has in his sights!

Dang! That thar is a fine lookin’ duck. 😉 PRETTY SWAN!!!

I LOVE PANDA! He fell out of the tree and bonked his cute head.

Ask and ye shall receive! You guys liked my chicken monster so much, I thought I’d put a pic of his little furry buddy in here too. Can someone tell me WHERE THE HELL HIS FACE IS???  I see no beak. No eyes. No nuffin! He’s Furry Ninja Chicken!

And last but most certainly not least, a tribute pic of my sweet, precious, departed angels: Princess and BooBoo. I loved these kitties more than I can ever express and was blessed to have these little sister kitties in my life for 16 years. I love you BooBoo and Princess!!!

Thanks for peeking at my critters!! In case you can’t tell, I’m a sucker for the fuzzy things!