Musings Of An Old Hag On Her Birthday

So, today I’m 42. Yep. 4. 2. How is that possible? Am I not still 16? 23? 31? I feel like I’m young. And really, it’s not like 42 is knocking on Death’s door. But it’s not 20–THANK GOD.

The great thing about my happy day is that I wouldn’t go back to being 20 for all the otters in Otterland. I mean that sincerely.

Here’s me at 20:

Here’s how I felt about everything:

  • Scared
  • Insecure
  • Worried
  • Unsure about who I should be
  • Unsure about who I was at the moment
  • People pleasing was a full-time job
  • Thought I had to be perfect all the time
  • Wanted everyone to like me

Here’s me at 42 (okay, 41 and 7 months as Christmas isn’t today):

Here’s how I feel about everything now:

  • At peace
  • Happy
  • Contented
  • Secure
  • Confident
  • Strong
  • Hopeful
  • Self-aware
  • Okay about aging gracefully
  • People pleasing is only a very small hobby
  • I don’t want to be perfect even 25% of the time
  • I prefer it when people like me (as I kick ass! 😉 KIDDING!), but no longer let it bother me if they don’t

Man, that makes it seem like I’ve got everything figured out. I don’t. But I have a lot more figured out now than I did when I was 20.

Here are the things I’ve learned over the years:

  • I like who I am.
  • What other people think isn’t the most important thing in my life (it’s way down the list.)
  • I surround myself only with people that I love (or at least like a lot.)
  • I rarely allow myself to be pressured into anything (been there, done that.)
  • I am kind in every instance possible and still not mean even when provoked (though I can be QUITE firm when necessary.) 🙂
  • Too much pride and ego get you nowhere.
  • Judging other people because they have different beliefs is ridiculous. What is right for me may not be right for them, and that’s okay.
  • I’m introverted–yes, it’s true. I’m an INFJ for those of you who know what Myers Briggs is. Shocking, I know.
  • I don’t like any form of housework (as you all well know!)
  • I let people take care of me sometimes–I don’t have to be superwoman 100% of the time.
  • I regret nothing, even the screwed up crap that about killed me at the time. It doesn’t change anything and all roads led me to here.

The difference between 20 and 42 isn’t just 22 years, it’s a lifetime. I am so very thankful for all the wonderful people and things in my life. My husband, family and friends are so very dear to me. I am also very thankful for my new blogging family. I am stunned beyond measure just how many of you wonderful people I interact with daily and I’m so very happy I met you guys! Have a very blessed day and life!