All this sassiness and naughtiness and perversion sprouted from somewhere.
Below is a glimpse into how it all began (there’s video too!).
When I was just a wee mite of a girl, just twenty one (and two days), I did my first interview as a host for a local TV show called Rock Live. I’d pop around all over Baltimore and DC interviewing bands, drooling over hot musicians, you know, typical girl stuff. 🙂
It was such a fun job and I met so many talented, amazing people. I also got chased all over DC by a car full of boys with bad intent while my producer was doing 100 mph trying desperately to find a cop who could help. Ultimately, it was a McDonald’s parking lot with a cop eating an ice cream cone that saved us. Whew!
But, I digress…
Most of the time, it was a blast. And this very first interview was, I think, the best. It was all so fresh and new and exciting.
Now, when I say “best” I don’t mean me. I SUCKED! Wow. I mean, wow. I was not a good interviewer yet. And my accent? Good lord. That is one U.G.L.Y. accent. I pronounced my own name wrong! How is that possible? My name is not spelled Jouudi. That’s what you get for growing up near Baltimore with a mom with a southern accent and a dad with a DC accent. A muddled nightmare! Luckily, I managed to murder that accent pretty quickly after hearing it for the first time on-air. Who wouldn’t? That shit was awful, as you will soon hear.
So, even though I may not have been the greatest interviewer (…and the award for Greatest Understatement goes to Jodi!), it was still an amazing night where I made some good friends. Plus, can we all say it together: Sexy boys rule! 😉 (No disrespect to the hubby as he is my ULTIMATE sexy boy!)
Date: June 7th, 1991
Location: The Rage, Baltimore City
The Band: Hung Jury
Enjoy (and feel free to make hideous fun of me…I can take it…really, I can…I swear…well…). 😉
Recently, I did a radio show that asked me to send in a few songs that I thought summed up my thoughts about life. I thought that was a cool idea as it can really help a person define themselves–to themselves.
It was actually quite hard to do because, well, I’m a lunatic as we all know. One day I’m mauling all of my teddy bears and playing house with them, and the next I’ve got on some slutty nurse outfit. I guess that’s the Gemini in me. To say I’ve got multiple personalities is the understatement of the year. 😉
Anyway, I thought I’d share my songs with you. I bought them so hopefully I’m not violating some freaking obscure copyright law by posting them here.
I hope you enjoy them!
When I feel trampy:
When I feel like life is just about as awesome as it can get:
When I feel like shaking my ass (when no one is home and all the blinds are drawn–eee gawds!):
When I feel like kicking EVERYONE’s ass from here to hell and back…then hitting them about the head and shoulders with a hammer…then disemboweling them…then setting them on fire and humping on their ashes:
When I wanna sing and dance in my car to the horror of others:
Okay, I could go on and on and on, alas, I’m cutting myself off here! 🙂
Now, I’m gonna say something that sounds all shrinky and shit, but it’s not a bad idea…if life isn’t exactly how you want it to be, find your own songs. Sometimes, hearing how you feel articulated by others can help clarify things for you. I know…that seems kinda silly, but it can work. If your “theme song” is “I wish someone would fuckin’ kill me”…well…that can give you clarity. 😉
I’m off to make spaghetti sauce. YUM!!!!! Yeah, cooking usually sucks, but this is one dish I can make like a mo fo. Plus, the hubby is cutting up all the onions, garlic and green pepper–so really, all I have to do is dump everything into a pot. Ahhh…the good life.
Okay gentlemen, you are allowed to read this, but it’s really for the ladies.
Of course I’m going to put a disclaimer here because you know how I am. 🙂
Guys, you know I love you. I’m a terrific fan of men. I love them so much I married me one. But that is not to say that sometimes the ladies couldn’t use a little dose of “Kicking Ass and Taking Names.” I know I’ve had those moments in my life and I just thought if any of the ladies out there needed a little extra support, girl power (though I loathe that expression), or encouragement that I’d share with them what helped me straighten my ass out when I was going through a bit of a rough time.
So, before I share with you what helped me, I’m going to tell you a brief story. I did a post on this over a year ago, so I’ll make it short and sweet here.
I’ve not always had the best luck with men. Those of you who know me well or have read the intro to my Sex book know that I’ve dated ALL kinds of guys. While I have not a single regret in life (thank God), I have experienced quite a lot of shit over the years. The good thing is that I learned from it all and got wiser along the way.
Well, not too long before I met my wonderful hubby, I was dating a guy (not seriously at all) and he called me one day and said he wanted to marry me and wanted me to give him a daughter (you guys know I don’t want kids and he knew this too). BUT!!!! I had to “be better” first. What? I have to be WHAT first? Dumb asshat mother fucker.
As you can imagine, with those words I was done. D.O.N.E. But I was also fascinated by what he meant by “better.” So I asked. I was curious after all. What on earth could this idiot mean?
It turns out that he’d cyber stalked me and found pictures of me from my early 20s when I was a model. So he thought that almost 20 years later that I should look the exact same as I did then. Clearly he’s a total fuckin’ moron. Do most cars look the same 20 years later? Do your slippers not age over time? Had his dumb ass looked in a mirror lately? Now, I know I sound angry, but honest to God I wasn’t (and am not now–you know how much I like sarcastic 4-letter words! 🙂 ) I actually found this quite entertaining. What he didn’t realize he was saying was, “I’m the type of guy who will cheat on you when you get older. I always want a woman to look 20 so you better never get a gray hair or gain a pound. I will hit mid-life crisis and go wild. I will not support you as you age because real women aren’t supposed to age, etc…” So many things he communicated in such a short sentence.
Needless to say I never answered a phone call or text from him ever again. Fuck that noise.
Now on to my little ball-kickin’, ass-smackin’, take no guff empowerment for the ladies!
Right after this idiot showed his ass, I heard this song and it changed my life in so many ways. I was always a strong girl. Sweet but with a taking care of business, don’t fuck with me head, and a kind and forgiving heart. Lord knows I’m no saint, but I do try to be kind. Well, there’s a time for “kind” and a time to stand the hell up. That’s what this song is all about. It’s about knowing that you and your thoughts and your actions are as valuable as the opposite sex’s thoughts and actions and not to let anyone or anything make you feel otherwise.
I liked it so much I wrote the lyrics down and put them on an old picture of mine (from days when I was “better!” HA!) and hung it on the wall right inside my front door to remind me daily that I can look however the fuck I want, that no one looks like a supermodel (not even supermodels do thanks to Mr. Airbrush) and that if someone doesn’t like me for who I am they can go bite a dick. 😉
Below is the pic in case any of you ladies want the lyrics. There is also the song. It has more than one naughty word in it, but it is BRILLIANT and I love it and it’s my anthem, but if there are small ears around put in your earbuds.
The best way to enjoy it the first time is to hit play and then read along with the lyrics so you know what she’s saying. Then just crank it to 11 and let your ears bleed! 🙂
Hey everyone! Exciting news! In the next few months I’m going to start hosting my own radio show! Yay!!! It’ll be all things love, relationships and sex! Woo hoo! I can’t wait!
Where this will be fun for you guys is I’m going to have a theme song competition. For those of you who know me, you likely already know that I’m a rock-n-roll kind of girl. So, for any musicians out there who’d like to have a song of theirs (and full credit) be my intro theme, please send me an MP3 in the next 4-8 weeks. It’ll be a great way to promote yourself, your band, your music!
It can be a song you already have that has a sex/love theme or something you come up with. It only needs to be between 60-90 seconds long.
Here are things I like about music:
Weeping guitars! I love good guitar work!
A bluesy rock feel
A positive vibe (but not poppy at all)
You can send samples to firstname.lastname@example.org. I can’t wait to hear what you have to play! 🙂