Absofuckinlutely Hysterical!!

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We all know I love Bernadette from Rants from my Crazy Kitchen. Not only did she contribute 2 recipes to my cookbook, but she pretty much just kicks tons of ass. (Go follow her. Go now. Well…after you read what’s below. Then go follow her.) 😉

So, she sent me to a “blog translation” page that takes a webpage and translates it into hilarity. If you thought I had bad language, you ain’t seen NOTHIN’ yet! She picked her favorite post of mine, “I Gots me the Buzz Muff.” and had it translated. Total riot!

It’s so damn funny that I about puked laughing. It’s called gizoogle and in its own words it describes itself as: “Fo’ all y’all biotches who wanna find shiznit!” Nope, I kid you not.

Now, this is HORRIBLY POLITICALLY INCORRECT. It’s offensive and wonderful and appalling and that’s why I like it.

If you offend easily, do NOT click on the below link. I don’t want no guff from easy-to-offend people. 

Of course, easily offended people don’t usually come to my blog as it’s just awful and perverse and wrong most of the time! (But you know my heart is always in the right place.) 🙂

God bless Snoop Dog for creating the “izzle” factor. Gotta love Snoop. 🙂

Enjoy!

CLICK HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK

PS: My McAfee says the page is safe to visit, so you should be good to go and not get spammed by non-stop, two-girls-and-a-cup-type porn. 😉

PSS: I’ve never seen that and never want to. I don’t want to know what it’s about–though I have some ideas. Please don’t tell me or I’ll have to wash my brain with lye. 😉

The “It takes 3 minutes to make a delicious dessert” Recipe

TGIMFS! Yes, that’s my spin on TGIF with a few extra choice words chucked in. 😉

Here’s another bit of yum for you guys this weekend!

Move over fancy schmancy desserts that take 19 hours and 4 chefs to make.

I have something even better.

But you have to visit the awesome and amazing Bernadette at Rants from My Crazy Kitchen to get the recipe!

That lovely lady has just posted my second recipe designed to let you spend less time cooking and more time enjoying your holiday weekend.

It’s sooooooooooo yummy! It has 4 ingredients. That’s my kind of cooking.

And while I took many wonderful pictures of this batch of yumminess, I forgot to put my stupid memory card into my camera. Can we all say it at the same time? “Duh….” What a dumbass I am! Yep, wiping the drool off my chin right now.

Anyway, I procured a picture that’s similar to what this delicious concoction looks like when finished. Here it is. SLURP!

Pineapple Cherry Dump Cake

Just imagine a bit of pineapple at the bottom of the rest of the lip-smacking goodness and there you have it.

Okay, so time to go over and get the recipe.

Check it out HERE.

It’s also in my cookbook, Darn Good Eats, so if you have that, you have the recipe whenever you want it.

Enjoy!

Have a great weekend! Love you guys!

 

img credit: tammileetips.com

 

Mmmmmmmacaroni Salad Yumminess!

Hot damn! The lovely Bernadette from Rants from My Crazy Kitchen is posting 2 guest posts from me this week with some easy and delicious food you can make for Labor Day (for those of you in the US).

For the rest of you, it’s still dang good yum yums!

You may recognize her from both her awesome blog and she contributed 2 recipes to my cookbook Darn Good Eats.

Go check out the first recipe by clicking HERE.

Then later in the week she’ll post the dessert recipe.

HUGS!

Move Over Key Lime Pie!! Guest Blog

Woo hoo! It’s been an awesome week so far and I have another fun thing to share.

The lovely Bernadette of the famed Rants From My Crazy Kitchen asked me to do a guest post on her foodie blog. How dang cool! So I did something super easy that even I can make. I think a 6 year old could make it. Actually, it would be quite the fun recipe to do with a little one who is just learning how to make stuff in the kitchen. I’m pretty sure even 2 squirrels and a blind bunny could team up and make it.

Guest Blog on Rants from My Crazy Kitchen

This recipe is from Mom (what a shock!) and she made it for me on my birthday earlier this month. It is soooooo yummy and refreshing, but you’ll have to get the scoop over at Rants From My Crazy Kitchen.

Here’s a sneak preview of the yumminess:

Birthday Lime Pie for Bernadette's Blog

Enjoy!

Mmmmmm…food…

Howdy everyone! I’m so thankful it’s Friday I could weep like a sad kitten! sad kitten

Since it is hot as friggin’ hell out here in Arizona (someone kill me) I thought since I’m staying inside (never to leave the house again until November) that I’d do two things.

  1. Give you a lip-smacking, damn good recipe from my cookbook.
  2. Give you a link to vote for Rants From My Crazy Kitchen as being one of the top 25 Foodie Moms. You’ll remember her not only from her awesome blog, but she contributed two delicious recipes to the cookbook. Yummy drool drool! Click HERE to vote for her and her awesome blog. I’m sure she will be very thankful you took the time. 🙂

RECIPE TIME!!!

Okay, so you guys know that I’m a cookbook writer that HATES HATES HATES to cook. Yeah, I know. I’m a whacko. Anyway, I’m going to give you a recipe for one of THE BEST desserts you can ever make and I kid you not, a blind hamster could make it–it’s THAT easy! It’s the perfect cake to take to a BBQ. It’s the perfect cake to take to bed and eat with your hands until you pass out (at least you are already laying down–less likely to get injured).

This recipe is good for a few reasons:

  1. It’s cheap to make.
  2. It’s easy as hell to make and takes about 4 minutes to throw together.
  3. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want a second helping.
  4. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want a third helping.

I’m going to give you the recipe straight from the book, little story and all (each recipe has its own story because I talk too damn much!). 🙂 I hope you love it! Oh, and GO VOTE for Rants!! She’s awesome and I’d love to see her make it into the top 25 Foodie Moms again this year. 🙂

Dump Cake

Let me say that on their own, I don’t like many of the ingredients in this cake. The first time my mom made it and handed me a piece I thought to myself, “GROSS! Cherries and pineapple? Vomit. Must. Keep. Smile. On. Face. While. Gagging.” Then I took a bite. Then I took another. Then I took 20 more and ended up eating 3 pieces of it. Somehow, all the flavors come together into this conglomeration of co-mingled delights in a way that I never would have expected. Of course, anything with a stick and a half of butter is bound to be delicious. Besides which, it truly is the single most easy homemade cake you will ever make. Ever. Period.

Below is Mom’s recipe from 1978. Thank goodness that she saves everything. I sure know who I get my pack rat tendencies from.

 dump cake

The list of yum yums:

  • One 18- to 20-ounce can of cherry pie filling—the extra cherry kind if possible
  • 1 – 1½ sticks of butter
  • One 20-ounce can of un-drained pineapple rings
  • 1 box of yellow cake mix

 Dumping it all together:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 °F.
  2. Butter the bottom and sides of a 9×13 glass dish.
  3. Place a single layer of pineapple rings on the bottom of the dish and pour the juice over the pineapple.
  4. Pour the can of cherry pie filling on top of the pineapple and spread so the cherries are distributed evenly.
  5. Pour the dry yellow cake mix over the pineapple and cherries and level it out. Don’t mash the cake mix, just gently level it out and make sure it’s evenly dispersed.
  6. The take a stick or stick and a half of butter, slice it into 1/8-inch thick slices and put it over the entire cake top about an inch apart.
  7. Bake at 350 °F for about an hour or until the top is crispy brown.

I can’t even begin to describe how tasty this cake is. And seriously, have you ever read an easier cake recipe? It’s even easier than boxed cake. I would serve this cake to a chef. A president. A Nobel Prize winner. There is no shame in serving this cake to anyone and everyone. It may have taken you 3 minutes to make it, but no one would ever guess that in a million years. It is absolutely fantastic.

Enjoy everyone! Have a fantastic weekend! 🙂 Luv ya!