I love my sweet family

I stumbled across this in my phone and it reminded me of how blessed I’ve been in my life.

Can you believe I have a post with no cuss words? WTF??? ๐Ÿ˜‰ โ™กโ™กโ™กโ™ก

My Very Favorite Thing


I would like to introduce you all to my favorite thing on earth (save for things that breathe).

Drum roll please….

(Yes, you can click belowย to hear an actual drum roll. Yes, because I’m a doofus!)


Pink Teddy


Yeah, I know. I’m creative with my naming conventions. And, believe it or not, she used to be pink.

Now she’s more the color of dirt, sweat, dust mites and other things that you find in a bed. EWWWWW!!! Poor little Pink Teddy! She’s seen (and participated in) things much worse than Car Teddy.

The hubby tells me that the reason my skin has stayed so nice, even though I never wash my face or take off my makeup, is that all the mites run off her while we sleep, crawl up onto my face and eat off all the dirt and makeup. It’s like microdermabrasion via teddy bugs! Yep, I am so gross!

I’ve had my beloved Pink Teddy for about 36 years or so and have slept with her almost every single night of those close to 4 decades.

She’s been with me to the beach, to the lake, and all across the country. I remember running into one of my former bosses at the airport once and her head was sticking up out of my backpack. He was like, “WTF is that?” I figure he travels with his golf clubs. I travel with my Pink Teddy. I consider that a draw. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here she is with my sister and me on my first day of college in 1988!

Jodi Becky College 1988

She used to be soft and plush. Now…well…you can see for yourself.

I finally got her a little furry coat for a baby and put it on her to help protect her remaining fur. She’s shockingly not thread-bare yet, but she was getting close. Now she kinda looks like a gangster teddy. I love that about her.

I love so much about her really. Not only is she smushed in just the right way to fit into my chest perfectly as I sleep, but she’s seen me through every dark day I’ve ever had. And every wonderful one, too. I can look at her and see how over the years she, like me, has become a bit rough around the edges. She has plenty of scars to show she’s endured for a very long time and has seen a lot of things.

While you may shiver in slight horror over her rather beat up countenance, it’s one of the things I love so much about her. And I also think it’s one of the things that helps me understand that growing older and getting those rough edges is actually a wonderful thing.

I look at my precious teddy and I know we’ve been through a hell of a lot together, but we’ve both survived. She’s my little inspiration and I’m so happy that a million years ago my parents got her for me for Christmas. She was immediately my favorite and while I have hundreds of teddies that I love, she’s the one cuddled into me every night.

Thank the good Lord I’m a hell cat in bed or I don’t know if my men over the years would have taken so well to her intruding in the boudoir. ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Oh yeah…it’s NOOKIE-TIME!

Yep…it’s that time again. My latest yarn on all things nookie related is out, about and ready to be read by all you perverts out there. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Kidding! Well, it is ready to read, but you don’t have to be a pervert (though I KNOW most of you are!) Feel free to pop on over the The Acquiring Man magazine for my monthly column.

Acquiring Man Oct Article

Beyond me trying to help you get some knickers on the floor, let’s see what else is going on around here while I’m plagued with insomnia.

Things I was thinking about last night while laying in bed begging God (and sleeping pills) to help me sleep:

  1. If I don’t stop thinking about work I’m going to hang myself. (Yeah…kept thinking about work for a while…and then these thoughts came and distracted me.)
  2. Why can’t I have two otters in the pool in the backyard? That would make my life complete.
  3. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand why God made oil, butter, cream, cheese and Italian deli meats so fattening? Why can’t it all be healthy like broccoli? Was it just to test us? Ugh!
  4. I wonder if my teddy bears talk and run around while I’m gone? I sometimes come home and they’ve moved–how can that happen? Are the kitties playing with them?
  5. I wonder just how much information my hamster’s brain actually processes. Ahhh…to be a hamster for one minute.
  6. What am I going to wear to my class reunion in a couple of weeks? I hate my clothes!
  7. Crap…gotta get my hair dyed as NOW I HAVE FUCKING GRAY HAIRS! (Okay, gray hair–singular, but still.)
  8. Maybe I’ll head to Macy’s and see if I can find something pretty to wear. Man, I hate shopping.
  9. I wish Clark Color would put their wall art on sale again. I’m NOT paying full price. Nope, not gonna happen.
  10. I hope my sister likes all her insane birthday presents.
  11. Why have so many people stopped pronouncing consonants in words? It’s not “di’in’t” it’s fucking “diDn’t.” Kill me.
  12. UFFF! Cat jumped dead center onto my left boob. OUCH!
  13. I wonder if the cat does that shit on purpose? I may have to kill her.
  14. Dammit, now I’m never going to go to sleep–cat scratch on nip.
  15. I love FrootLoops. I want some right now. (So, I go get a dry bowl of them…)
  16. Shit…the crunching is waking up the man. Gotta let them soak in my mouth til mushy, then chew. Eww…not so good. (Went and sat in the floor in the hall to finish eating them.)

Yep, those are my 3am ramblings. Sorry you had to suffer through them too!!

Have a great weekend. I’ve been on my computer for about 70 hours this week and I have to put it down for at least a few hours or I’m going to become unpleasant. XOXOXO


In Honor of my Funny, Smart, Beautiful and Supportive Sister

So last night I’m having a nervous breakdown. The kind that comes once every 10 years or so. To say that I was apoplectic would be an understatement. This is how I felt: bill the cat 2

I was laying in bed, feet twitching, hands twitching, left eye twitching (but luckily no muff twitching–recall the buzz muff anyone?) I had my Kindle in my hand and was jumping back and forth between a book, a word search app, Sudoku and a game called Paplinko (think Plinko on the Price is Right). I couldn’t focus on anything for more than a few minutes and I realized that if I didn’t let off a little steam (by that I mean FREAK THE FUCK OUT) that I was going to go nuts. It was to the point where I was thinking to myself, “Do I take my sleeping pill now so that I can just go into a coma for the next 8 hours or do I try and stay up as late as possible because taking the sleeping pill only makes tomorrow come that much faster?” That is me at my most stressed.

Even though it was 2 hours later in the state where my sister lives, meaning it was after 1:00 am, I texted her and asked if she was by any chance awake. She was! Yay! And not only was she awake, she was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Truly a gift from God. Had she been asleep I don’t know what I would have done.

So, I went out to my car and screamed and cried (soooooo not like me!!) for over an hour on the phone with my sister. I used a combination of 4-letter words that would shock the fangs off a snake. What did my precious little sister do? She made me laugh. It was wonderful. She showed just the right amount of quiet support, outrage, humor and understanding…it was just what this girl needed.ย  I can’t even remember the last time I cried on her shoulder. Probably 25 years ago. But there she was, helping me out long distance and doing what no one else could–getting me. She gets me. I have friends who “get me”. My hubby does amazingly well. But there is something about a sister that gets you in a way no one else can that is so reassuring. For that, and for her, I am incredibly thankful. I sincerely don’t know what I would have done without her last night. She was my Wonder Woman and an otter all wrapped up into one incredible woman. To say I am truly blessed would be the greatest of understatements.

Now, my dear friends, there is no need to worry. I’ll be fine, everything will work out, it’s just a temporary thing. But I felt the need to let the world know that I am so deeply grateful to have a sister who was there for me in the middle of the night. She offered to fly out here. She offered to have me fly out and stay with her. She did and said everything right.

Thank you so much, sweet Beck-a-boo, for loving me and for being the best sister anyone could ever want. I love you so much and am so glad I have you.

And just so the rest of you can see this fantastic woman who is my Sissy, here are a few pics of her and me (I’m 99% positive that shouldn’t be “she and I”) from over the years. See how lucky I am?

So sweet that she was giving me my favorite pacifier rather than smothering me with a pillow!

So sweet that she was giving me my favorite pacifier rather than smothering me with a pillow!

Jodi and Becky

She’s looked the same since birth. What a pretty little face. ๐Ÿ™‚

Jodi and Becky Big Boobs

Who knew we could foresee the future at such a tender age?

We ain't 'fraid of no snakes!

We ain’t ‘fraid of no snakes!

Me attacking her when I opened her Christmas present where she gave me the money to cover my pet deposit--allowing me to get my very first kitties!

Me attacking her when I opened her Christmas present where she gave me the money to cover my pet deposit–allowing me to get my very first kitties!

Happy Christmas Campers last year.

Happy Christmas Campers last year.

Isn’t she just lovely?ย  I Love My Schmeckers!!