One of my FAVORITE Christmas presents ever!

Meet Dicknose!

My Friend Dicknose

Is that the most insane looking teddy bear you’ve ever seen?

My mom shrieked with both horror and delight when she saw it.

She said, “Only you would immediately fall in love with a dick teddy.” Which made me crack the fuck up. I love my sassy 75 year old mommy. 🙂

Grant gave this to me as he knows I love both cute, adorable, plush teddies and the defective, unlovable (except by me), deformed, mutant teddies.

Believe it or not, Dicknose is based off of a real creature.

Trust me when I say you do NOT want to see it. You’ll vomit. You’ll never want to eat any kind of any thing that comes out of the water ever again.

But, you may want to go to your local sex shop and rent a hooker or buy an “appendage” for entertainment.

Again, don’t do it, but click here if you want to see the thing this teddy is based on. View at your own risk! 😉

PS: Woo hoo! This is my 200th post! 🙂 Thanks for reading all of my insanity! 😉

The Mouthy Musings of a Miscreant Teddy

So, as you guys know, one of the things I enjoy most in life is being a doofus. I’ve pretty much honed that skill to a sharp point, and you poor peeps have had to bear witness to it on more occasions than I can count! 🙂

As such, you also likely know that I loved teddy bears. And whether it’s an otter or a squirrel or a thing of indeterminate origin, it’s still a teddy bear to me. Grant and I make them talk and walk and, well….sometimes hump in horrible ways.  But every once and a while a teddy gets out of line and thinks he/she can take over the joint. That’s what happened today.

While I was in the shower, Cantankerous Duck took over my phone’s video camera and sent this to Daddy. Rotten little shit! I think I may have to shave him and put a Dunce Cap on him so all the other teddies know not to fuck with Mommy.

 

Here’s what the hubby said after seeing this: “That is fucked up cute, Bunnyhead.  I’ll rescue you baby doll…  nasty little gangster duck.”

HA! I love how he just rolls with my insanity. Bless that man.