You can’t say I don’t title shit strangely!
Oh, and you DO get to see Car Teddy at the very end. That’ll make more sense after you see the video. XO
Surgery is in 19 hours and to be quite frank, I’m a wee bit scared. So any additional prayers or healthy vibes you guys can send up would be so appreciated!
After getting some more tests (thank God all the blood work came back great! Yay!) my doc said that she didn’t feel comfortable just having a surgical assistant in with her since (this is not a direct quote but is pretty much what she said), “My insides are so fucking fucked.” 😉 So, she’s having a second surgeon join her in the operating room.
Yeah, she was far more delicate than that, awesome doc that she is, but that was the jist.
Seems as though all my prior surgeries have made everything such an adhesion-covered mess that they could not even SEE my ovaries during the internal ultrasound (read that as being viciously fucked by a cattle prod…ouchy!!!), they found 8 tumors and tons of uterine muscle lesions. Plus, with my last cattle prod adventure, they told me my bowel had grown into my left ovary and now share a blood supply.
Anyway, it looks like this is going to likely be a complicated mess and while my doc is still hopeful and is going to peek at everything first by putting a little camera in my bellybutton (which is seriously like 9 feet deep!) and looking around, she thinks it’ll probably end up being an open surgery. OUCH!
And she’s going to go in through my old zipper incisions, which is good in that I’ve already been opened up there 3 times already, but bad in that vertical incisions take so much longer to heal and they hurt like a mo fo.
I’m doing my very best to prepare everything for the smoothest recovery possible and trying VERY hard to keep all my fears to myself as not to scare my family as I’m sure they are nervous enough, but I had to get it out somewhere. Being opened up like this a 4th time is truly terrifying, even though I’m an old pro at it.
Surgery is a 7:30 on Tuesday and luckily I’ll be at a great hospital, Scottsdale Shea, that has a great reputation, so, I’d be so very thankful, from the bottom of my heart, for any extra love you can send my way around that time.
Much love to all of you!!! XOXOXXO
Oh, and I’ve decided to bring two teddies with me! Gotta have critters to cuddle! 😉
You guys know that in addition to being a foul-mouthed trollop, I’m also a squishy little cuddle bun bun with my hubby.
We text each other a few times during the day just to say, “I love you, Stinker!” Or, “How’s my little Muffininator’s day going?”
He’ll send me imgur images of frolicking otters or baby squirrels. Yep, I’m a total sap! Alas, that is not news to any of you. 🙂
So, today I thought I’d liven up an I Love You text to the man with this cute little gif:
The hubby just loved it!
So, I thought I’d share with you a bunch of gifs I pilfered from Google Images so that you can nab them and text or email them to your honey bunny (or mom, sister, brother, dog, kid, cat, hamster…whoever has an Internet connection).
For Windows users, you should be able to right click on them, select Save Image As, then save them to your local drive for future uploading into a text message or email.
For Mac users, I guess you just think to yourself, “Mac, upload this image and send to wifey,” and it’ll read your mind and do it all for you. If that, for some odd reason, doesn’t work, maybe click and hold???? It’s been so long since I worked on a Mac that I’ve forgotten anything I ever knew about them. I’m a slave to Bill Gates apparently. NOOOOO!!!! 😉
Here ya go! Cuteness galore…
And lastly, for those of you who kind of love/hate your mate, here’s a super creepy one that both shouts love and is the precursor to nightmares:
Now go send some love to your honey!
You can always instead send them dancing poop to say hi. 😉
Well, you guys know that our little Tick Teddy likes to go on wild adventures.
He’s been all over the country and up into Canada, leaving a trail of dead hookers in his wake.
There’s no confining him. No stopping him. He just won’t abide!
This week, Tick Teddy is on Hollywood Boulevard.
He’s laying waste to everything in his path and I will show you the evidence that can certainly (hopefully) be used against him in a court of law.
“Hi mama. Daddy left me here while he’s off banging bar slut wannabes. There’s nothing for me to play with. I’m bored mama.”
“Look who I found, mama! I gots me a Tyrannical Rex to play with. I hope he doesn’t pull me down into a life ‘a crime. I’ma gonna use him to help me see over all the tall people heads. Not to rob banks. No sirreee bob. I promise.”
“Told you I was gonna be good. Me ‘n Daddy have our own star on the Walk o’ Shame…oh, I means Walk of Fame.”
“Hey mama, I gots you a new boyfriend! He tells me he’s the man that dreams are made of. I’m not sure I believe him mama. Mama???”
“Whew! No bad dreams for the Tick, mama. I gots me a hundrit percent solution to what ails me.”
“Mama, I thought you said Daddy was my Daddy? Then why is this asshat telling me that HE’S my father? What’s goin’ on, mama?”
“Look, mama, I had to escape my new Daddy. He touched me in bad places. So, yeah, I’ma gonna turn right on red. I gots ta get outta here and fast!”
“It sure is warm in here mama. Tick likey.”
“Now mama, don’t get upset. It’s alcohol-free beer. I ain’t shining you on. You knows I’m a good Tick and would never do anything bad or that would get me in trouble.”
“Well, mama, it had to happen sumtime. I’m just glad you aren’t around to see it first hand. They’s throwing me in the hootscow. I’ma dun for. Say bye to the other teddies for me. I see the way that ho’se is eyeballin’ me. This ain’t gonna go down easy…”
PS: Big props to the hubby, who, while out of town and knowing that I miss him terribly, takes Tick on his adventures and sends me these pictures to make me smile. I am truly the most blessed girl on earth. I love you, baby! 🙂